WI/WO questions

[munzle]

After some OT issues and a trip away we've fallen into the trap of staying in DS's room until he's asleep (or very nearly). He settles fine for naps and seems genuinely happy until the moment that I put him in his cot, then screams 'mummy', stands up, and wants me back in the room. Given that he's fine at nap time, I don't think it's teeth/illness etc, and he naps well (2 hrs) so he's not OT. Am trying WI/WO (currently!) but it seems that by going back in I'm just making it worse - he escalates his crying after I've been in. We never get the 'mantra cry' but it also isn't an 'i need you immediately' cry, but he is crying and shouting 'mummy'. I just don't know how long to leave him. Oh... now he's started shouting 'Daddy' - has obviously decided I'm not coming. Not really sure how to progress   

[Josie21]

I am SERIOUSLY no expert but I used WIWO with my twin son (now 15mths, then about 13mths). The 1st night - probably because I was learning as much as him, I went back in after what, on reflection, was an "I want you" not an "I need you" cry. I comforted him but as I tried to lay him down, he went up in a blue light &, nerves in shreds, I abandoned it for that night & waited til he was asleep. The next night, I resolved to tune in properly and since then have never gone back in. The first 2 nites, he woke & cried. But barely at all & for no great length of time. I'm sure it was worse for him to have me in & out. He has been amazing since then & I now never know when he's awake as he lies happily til I come in. He is then all smiles & cuddles.
I'm not sure what my advice to you is - I don't feel qualified to give it - but I hope hearing my experience gives you some ideas.
If only his twin sister would do the same!
Lots of luck.
Xxxx

[sianie]

Hi...

How old is your LO?

Can you post your current routine? 

[munzle]

Sorry - usually remember to write that. He's just coming up to 18mo.

Routine:
Wake between 6.15 and 7pm
Nap - try to put him down at 12 but it's sometimes half past by the time DD is back from pre-school
Usually wake him by 2.30pm latest
BT - used to be 7pm but don't think he's tired enough. Am experimenting with pushing it to 7.30pm

Thanks for your help Josie - that is comforting! Actually, tonight he took about 40 mins but did go off on his own eventually, so that is progress. Will just have to be consistent with any night wakings. One of the probs is that he suffers from a lot of wind (was a reflux baby) so I have to try and be sure he's not uncomfortable before doing WI-WO... sometimes difficult in the middle of the night when you're half asleep 

[sianie]

Thanks...

It sounds like he has got used to you being in the room when he falls asleep so WI/WO or GW would be the way to help him to fall asleep independently (see link below FYI:)

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

The other thing to be aware of at around 18 mo is that some LO's go through some sleep regression (mainly due to developmental leaps but also teething can play it's part)...see below support thread:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=176250.0

Does he settle ok for naps? Are you getting any NW's?

I agree that 7pm Bt is probably too early after a 2.30pm WU, 7.30pm sounds more reasonable. 

[munzle]

Thanks - have read the WI/WO thread but had forgotten about 18mo regression.. or maybe DD just didn't have it  - I don't remember.

He settles independently for naps and I normally have to wake him, so maybe he just realises that nights are a longer time to be away from Mummy and he'd rather have some company. We were getting NWs but after doing WI/WO last night we had no NWs and he slept until 7.30am 

Is SA usually bad at 18mo? I can't remember - DD didn't really go through that either, but DS is much more clingy to me.

[sianie]

SA can raise it's head again at this age (& is usually compounded by teething & OT).

I would stick to the 7.30pm for a few days & see if this helps things to even out.

Let us know how you get on!