Author Topic: new mama needs help!  (Read 748 times)

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Offline picklemonster

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new mama needs help!
« on: July 18, 2011, 21:57:58 pm »
i am new here and want to get my 7 week old lo on an EASY schedule.  i am following the general routine and even am able to put him down awake most times and he will go to sleep (sometimes with a shhhpat) although theres no routine at all.  i am pretty good at reading his sleepy cues.   i struggle with feeds.  he eats what he wants and stops.  i cant cluster feed to save my life- he will spit his bottle out if he decides hes done.  if he naps for an hour, he might only take an ounce.  sometimes 4.  im ready to pull my hair out.  i guess i feel like i dont know where to start. i feel like im at the mercy of his schedule.
can someone give me some tips on where to begin so it doesnt feel it so overwhelming??

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Re: new mama needs help!
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2011, 22:19:24 pm »
i dont know where to start.
You've already started! Well done you!!
Putting him down awake and using a little shush pat is great so you are already doing brilliantly!

OK when you say there is no routine at all, there is, you just might not be aware of it yet. For the next couple of days write down the times LO Eats (and how much) Sleeps (and how long) and stays awake (Activity) so you can post it here in the EAS format and we can have a look at what's happening.

Eating what he wants and then stopping sounds normal (he's full) but I suspect something is going on there that you aren't happy with but without knowing more it's hard to tell exactly what.
Are you feeding as soon as he wakes from naps?  Are you doing this to try to keep to the EAS routine?  Is this making your E times close together (like 2 hrs instead of 3?)  If he is only taking a small amount because he is full then the feeds are probably too close together (unless there is something like silent reflux going on making feeding painful?).  Be aware that it is ok for your EASY to look like EASAEAS to keep the feed times the right length.

Once you observe and record those times it should become apparent which feeds are snacks, which are the proper feed times etc.

I'm sure you can get some help here and not feel quite so overwhelmed.  Meanwhile keep reminding yourself what a great job you are doing already, sounds like he is well on the way to independent sleep. x


Offline picklemonster

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Re: new mama needs help!
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2011, 23:42:21 pm »
thank you! i have been tracking his routine.

here it goes:

day 1

E: 330am - 2oz
S: 345am- 7am

E:  7am - 3oz
A
S  8:15-9am

E: 10am- 2oz
E:  11am- 5oz
A
S:  1130am-4pm (whoa!)

E:  4pm: 3oz
A
S:  515-530
A
E:  645pm- 1oz
S:  645pm- 815pm

E: 815pm- .5oz
A
E: 845pm- 2oz
A
S: 930pm-4am

day 2

E: 3oz
A (none- wouldnt settle)
S: 5am-830am

E: 830am- 4oz
A
S: 9am-11am

E: 11am- 4oz
A
S:  12:30pm-115pm

E: 115pm- 1oz
A
S:  415pm-8pm (so OT!)

E: 8pm- 3oz
A
S: 9pm- 945pm

E: 945pm- 1oz
S: 10pm- 115am

day 3

E: 115am - 1.5oz
S: 130am- 4am

E: 4am- 2oz
A
S: 6am-645am
S: 730- 9am

E: 9am- 1.5oz
A
S: 1030am-11am

E: 1130am- 4oz
A
S: 1230pm-1pm

E: 230pm- 1oz
A
S:245pm- 3pm

*** wouldnt sleep ***

E: 645pm- 2oz

E: 8pm- 2oz

E: 945pm 2oz
S: 10pm- 4am

day 4

E: 4am- 3.5oz
S: 430am- 930am

E: 930am- 4oz
A
S: 10am- 1130am

E: 1130am- 2oz
A
S: 12pm-1pm

E: 1pm- 1oz
A
S: 2pm- 445pm

E: 445pm- 2oz
A
S: 630pm (currently sleeping, going on 2 hrs!)

any input os greatly appreciated!


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Re: new mama needs help!
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2011, 19:58:33 pm »
OK.  I'm not really experienced in looking at EASY times but the thing that jumps out to me is (as I suspected) that some of the E times are too close together so he is snacking and this is what's driving you mad.

Decide if you want a set time for the beginning of the day, some people do some don't.  Some for example want LO up at 7am for a feed every day because they have other children to get to school, me though I was always grateful for an extra bit of sleep and would leave LO until he woke in the morning regardless of the time.
Once you've decided then that's when your day starts and count 3 hrs from that first feed.

If you choose a set wake up time of 7am get the alarm on and gently wake baby for a feed, then feed at 10, 1, 4, 7 (DF 10 - 11pm, NF if LO wakes).  Instead of the 7pm feed you can cluster at 6 and 8pm.

If you choose to have the 'lie in' (wouldn't that be nice!?) leave LO to wake when he wants and when you feed him mark the time and count 3 hrs from that for the next E.

For example look at day 2, E at 8.30 wake up then E at 11am rather than 11.30am so he's gone 2.5 hrs instead of 3 hrs.  After that there's another E at 1.15 which is only 2hr 15 since the last E, no surprise he only took 1 oz he wasn't hungry enough for feeding.  After that though he manages almost 7 hrs without feeding again!  He should have fed again 3 hrs from the previous feed making 4.15pm but he went to sleep then.  You want that 7 hr stretch without food at night for sure but not in the day.

On day 3 it looks like he goes from 4am to 9am without a feed but is awake between 6.45 and and 7.30am, did you feed then?  Did he refuse?
On day 4  he has a 9.30am wake up which would lead to 3hrly feeds at 12.30, 3.30, 6.30 but instead feeds at only 2 hrs, then 1.5 hrs.
The feeding certainly is erratic in places so lets get it into a better shape and both you and LO will then know when feeds are coming.

OK, so as I said above, choose when to start your day and count 3 hrs.  LO might have other ideas to begin with, if he asks for food before the 3 hr gently distract and coax as long as you can towards the 3 hrs.  If he really can't wait then feed (you don't want him upset just do what you can to get close to 3 hrs), mark down the time and count your 3 hrs from this amended time, and again coax up to the 3 hr mark.

Although LO may be getting OT if it was me I would wake up to feed in those long day naps he has, just for a few days so he learns that food comes at regular intervals.  After a few days the chances are he won't sleep past a feed unless he REALLY needs to (you might decide then that sleep is more important and let him sleep over sometimes but for now teach him that food comes regularly in the day).

Have a look here for sample routines, scroll down to age appropriate EASY
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164027.0

And have a look here for info on how much formula LOs need
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=67933.0

It looks like your LO is taking quite different amounts each day and I think track it for a while and see if the regular feeds at 3 hrs make it more steady.  I used to count from midnight to midnight simply because night feeds and morning wake up times can be so variable.

And remember it's ok for your EASY to look like EASAEAS to keep the Es at 3 hrs.  You are not feeding to sleep so this is no problem at all.

Let us know how things go over the next few days and how LO is responding to waiting for food etc.