have you ever thought about this? just a suggestion: attend church at an optional time or fellowship on another day/evening of the wk., even if this means that you can "church" after the kid(s) go to bed.
i have 2 little ones whose naps overlap, but always occur right at around the time of sunday morning church services. i prayed through this and feel at peace with ministering first to my young children at this time.
the establishment of "church" in the traditional sunday service style is exactly that--an established tradition. mind you, not necessarily bad, but not technically biblical either. i'm a minister's daughter, and i believe that my parents had been sensitive to the need of their own young children's naps as well as to those to whom they ministered. and, if napping is in the daily routine of the life of families with young children, then it is a critical area of ministry to the parents of those children. by that, i mean that this is an area of ministry by those parents to their children as well as an area of ministry by those in the church to those parents. like, perhaps "church" comes to the homes of those families so that their children can sleep while they fellowship/worship in that home. a new idea? not at all! if churches can't be flexible like that, for temporary reasons, then they really don't attend well to the needs of young families. after all, would they expect those in the hospital to attend church or would they bring church to them?
when my firstborn was under a yr. old, and had not yet established a set time for naps (i hadn't been on e.a.s.y then), i was worship leading at church and would strap her on a baby carrier through all the music. good intentions, bad idea. she had always had sleep problems from day one, and i only exacerbated them. hence, eventually, in desperation, i read about e.a.s.y. and re-established her sleeping pattern. as i started to establish her nap time on a daily basis, i found that if her nap time changed for anything past half an hr.--never mind missing a nap altogether, or having it shifted for several hrs.--all of her sleeping would be messed up. in turn, it would also mess up her appetite and energy level, affecting ultimately everything. then, it would take her 3 days to get back into order. that meant half of the wk. was spent re-establishing her sleep pattern. very stressful. when sunday came, the agony would repeat itself for the whole family. also, both my babies tended to scream through car rides than sleep ESPECIALLY when they were overtired! that's when i seriously prayed over it and received the revelation of ministering first to the needs of my family rather than the "family of god" at large. right now, this is the greatest blessing i can give, and a blessing that will have many returns in the future. any minister who might criticize me is simply not cognizant of this basic need in families with young children, and thus, i would consider an immature minister. eventually, our family started to meet up with other families of young children, and we rotated homes on sunday afternoons. this way, even if a certain parent couldn't meet up every sunday, this parent would still have church meet up with him/her every few wks.
if church is part of your life, the important thing to remember is that jesus is not religious. he came to build relationships of the heart, and parents--especially the mother--are the first, most fundamental relationship for a baby. our sacrifices are the first sacrifices they experience; our blessings are the first blessings they experience. it is through our eyes that they first perceive a glimpse of god. love is not about keeping image on the outside; it's about what germinates and grows in the heart where things are often initially unseen and all too easily overlooked by others. personally, i had experienced criticism. when i explained that my choice was one of sacrifice (for the time being) and that god accepted it as good and pleasing to him, i wasn't heard. i know that because i continued to be questioned negatively. but, that's ok. i wasn't doing it for "them", but for my children, my family, and god. this is why i would say that any church person who criticizes me for not attending regular, traditional church for the sake of my children really doesn't understand who god is. for them, church is probably more of a club than a family of god. love doesn't judge; love accommodates without compromise.
i just really feel for your little boy, and your pain at his distress...because i've been there. so, please give my suggestion some thought and prayer.
