ready to wean NF's...need advice

[lily528]

ok ladies it's been a long road for my dd but she will be one years old this saturday  so sad, was so fast despite it being a roller coaster ride...anyway, we finally down to just ONE waking and while I don't want to seem greedy I think it's time to cut it out.  She really should and needs to be sttn and so does mommy.  right now she her nw is approx at 4:30 a.m....right now I go in and nurse her...and lay her back down whether she is alseep or not.  if she is still awake she SOMETIMES will fuss for a minute or two before going back to sleep til about 7 a.m. which is when we start our day.  I have never been able to get her back to sleep without nursing her because otherwise she is in hysteria and a very angry little baby.  So while nursing doesn't always drift her back it DOES calm her and make her sleepy enough to drift back on her own.  She at one time was waking 4-5 sometimes more times a night...that has all stopped pretty much on its own...so I never have had to basically refuse to nurse and get her back to sleep without it because it was just easier to do it.  So where do I begin weaning a NF for a breastfed baby at age one...and I am thinking it's especially sensitive based on the time she is waking...could possibly become an ew issue if I can't get her back to sleep.  anyone think i should leave well enough alone and hope it goes away on its own like the others eventually did after many many months btw.  she does on occassion sttn but most nights there is that one waking.  any advice will be appreciated..as always thank you all...xoxo

[lily528]

oh ok...thank you

[lily528]

wow actually that is kind of saddening no longer a baby  sniffle sniffle..hope you guys can help either way....

[Roseii]

Hi there Can you post your routine? Also does she settle independently? Ie do you bf at bedtime then put her down awake and leave the room?
Funnily enough my situ is v similar to yours, I stopped bf at 13.5mo but have lately been offering a bottle for NWs (usually one, 3/4 times a week so not the end of the world) It's the quickest most painless way to get her back to sleep! And like you I never dropped any of the night feeds, she just did it herself so I am reluctant to actively do it now
Anyway let's see your routine etc
x

[lily528]

Charibob- so sorry for being MIA I def need the help but my dd 1st bday was saturday and we were preparing for that and the hurricane we had that night :/ def scary. Here is a typical day...keeping in mind I have tried to extend her A time but not going so well...has made her naps even shorter!

7 am wake up BF
8 am brkfst
10:15 nap (1 hr 15 mins usually)
12 pm BF or sippy with soy milk
12:30ish lunch
2:30 pm nap (30 mins is the norm :/)
5 pm dinner
5:45 pm bath
6:15 pm BF (I nurse her and MOST times put her down awake..very rarely she will fall asleep while nursing)
6:30 pm usually asleep
11:30 pm (a new nw time out of the blue. We WERE down to just one nw) BF back to sleep
5:00 am nw bf back to sleep

So now on top of bad naps we have added a new nw. Good times. Any advice is greatly appreciated

[lpperry]

I just recently cut the night feedings with my 9 month old--she was exactly how you described your daughter--if I nursed her, she would go right back to sleep in her crib, even if she was awake when I laid her down.  If I didn't nurse her, she'd just get mad and would not go back to sleep. 

I went cold turkey and decided I was going to cut out all night feedings and would not feed her until wake up time.  (She had been going on a week of refusing to nurse during the day and waking 3-4 times a night to nurse).  I suppose I did a version of PU/PD.  When she woke up, she would sit up in bed and I would gently lay her back down. She would sit up, I would lay her back down.  She would sit up, I would lay her back down.  The first night, she screamed for 45 minutes at the top of her lungs and sat up every time I laid her down. After 45 minutes, she turned off the screaming, stayed laying down and fell asleep about 15 minutes later.  The next day, there was no screaming, but I had to lay her down a bunch of times before she went to sleep.  It's been about a month since I did this, and she still wakes up typically once a night. I go in and lay her back down, but it usually only takes 1-2 times.

[lily528]

Really?  Hmmm not sure I can do that but we'll see. Feeding her is definitely easier but not good for either of us at this point. I will consider it though. Just breaks my heart when she cries and carries on like that. She'd be livid if I did that lol I can see it now. Such a temper for a little girl. Long road ahead of me I think.

[Roseii]

Hi hun ((hugs)) on the hurricane business, so scary

Have you ever tried capping the morning nap and trying for a longer afternoon one? Although the NF is a different issue, the NW in itself may not be helped by the long afternoon with not much sleep, yk? So something like:

A 7am
S 10-10.30
S 1-3
S 7

My DD2 is exactly the same, it's really a question of when I am brave enough and have the stamina to tackle the NF! You could do as PP suggested, or some form of GW...

Might be worth tweaking your routine first and seeing how you get on

x

[lily528]

With her pm naps being only 30 mins tops I would be very afraid to cap the am nap I can't see her sleeping 1-3 although that be awesome. Lol. Do u think capping the am nap would make her sleep that long?  I just tried to extend her am A time and she slept 25 mins!  Aaaahhhh I can't even put her down at 1 cause she has her 1 yr check up at 1. This is a mess and going to be a very long day.

[Roseii]

I know I was exactly the same-terrified of capping the one good nap we had!! But you'll never know unless you try...And at around 12mo they're heading in the 2-1 direction anyway so somewhere along the line you have to take a leap of faith
Will she sleep in the car for a bit after her check-up? Early bedtime I think!!!

[lily528]

Well back from her appt. She is in her crib but still awake. Going on 3.5 HRS A time. Let's see how long she sleeps. Thus is usually the 30 min nap but hoping after this mornings 25 mins she will sleep longer. We'll see. I don't understand why pushing her A time just 15 mins makes her nap go from an hr 15 mins to 25 mins?!

[inoella]

Hi there! Just wanted to add my 2cents worth that I also dropped the nf cold turkey. In fact, at 14 months I dropped all bfs cold turkey. I know it's not usually the way to go but I think I might have needed to be institutionalized otherwise - I was one VERY OT mommy by that time!  My DH was wonderful and did all the NWs over one weekend and that's all it took.  Just wanted to share my "success story" in case it helps.

[aimeeL]

I have no advice, but am in a very, very similar boat.  Stinks, eh?  We, too, have neither the desire nor resolve to do hr-long PUPDs or even WIWO.... so not sure yet where we're going to go from here, either...