13 month old, cant fall asleep on his own and NW

[lizzib45]

HI, Kinda new here, but I need some guidance. My DS is 13.5 months old and I have been rocking him to sleep since around 5 months. I have done a modified CIO but it doesnt work. Our night time routine is bath, PJs, night kisses, bottle, rocking, bed. It used to take about 10-15 mins with the bottle and rocking and he would pass out. Now a days, its taking more than 20 mins and tonight took over an hour! He also will throw up if he gets upset, which will take less than 2 mins. I feel like I have no other methods than rocking until I can somewhat reason with him?! And he has been NW for about 2 months, I have been attributing it to teething (cutting 3 right now) but I am exhausted and have resorted to sometimes passing out with him when I do not have any intention of starting co-sleeping. And he is up at 5am! As in he is ready to get up and play! I feel like such a mommy failure right now, but I am so exhausted and really need some advice/suggestions if anyone has them!!!

[sianie]

Hi there, welcome to BW! 

Sorry for the tough time, are you familiar with Tracy's Baby Whisperer books?

It would be really useful if you could post your DS's routine (wake-up time/ nap time & length/ bed-time & any NW's etc).

If he's always been rocked to sleep then it has become a prop & he doesn't know any other way to go to sleep, hence when he wakes during the night he needs your intervention to get him back to sleep. BW is about teaching your LO to fall asleep independently but in a gentle way that doesn't cause distress by letting then CIO.

If he's also teething then that won't be helping the sleep issues...does he have his 1st yr molars coming through? These are tough for LO's to teethe.....I assume you're giving meds before sleeps?

It is possible to get him to sleep independently so don't lose hope! 

[lizzib45]

I am a little familiar but i dont think the PUPD will work, Tried it and makes it worse.  here is his schedule:
Wake-5-530 ( I can snuggle him back to sleep till 6ish)
Nap 9am-1030/11 am
2nd nap from 2-3ish sometimes its only 40 mins
Sleep 730

He has been waking up around 2ish lately. But really its hit and miss.  last night was our worst night ever.... i have never felt so sleep deprived and frustrated with him... EVER! he refused to go to bed normal time, I rocked him for 45 mins and nada. So we bbrought him out to the living room and played and finally got him down at 9pm. ugh. He woke at 230. By 330 he still wasnt asleep and I lost it. And I let him cry for about 10 mins, and he puked. ugh! I finally got him to sleep at 430, then he was up at 5, then at 6. Thats with me sleeping with him out of sheer exhaustion. I need some major help!!

[geetha.pills]

Hi there,
 
{hugs to you}.... I can perfectly understand your situation. Went through a similar situation when my DS was about 10 months old... but do not lose hope My DS had to be BF every time he woke up and some days it used to be as many times as 7 during the night... I was really exhausted with the whole routine which is when I came across the BW technique. It is much more gentler than any CIO method.

From my experience, I feel that the PU/PD should work for you. However, you might have to pick up your LO sooner than later so that he does not puke. Eventually, he will get the message that everything is fine and settle into his cot. My LO used to be hysterical when put into the cot. I camped in his room for 2 nights on the spare bed and I was surprised that he was sleeping on his own by the third night, since he was always used to sleeping in my arms. You will have to PU/PD a good number of times, so prepare yourself for that. But the gaps between PU will decrease as your LO gets the message. Just give them some time.

I would suggest that you read the PU/PD section of the book completely before you start it. It gives you a very good idea of how to go about the whole process.

[sianie]

Hi

This link might help you with PU/PD (although with older LO's you generally PD). Agree with PP about reading the PU/PD section of the BW book, also, as with any sleep training method you need to commit & stcik to it for it to work & that can take a few days, although I know this is tough when you are exhausted!

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=208990.0

From your routine it also looks like your LO is going through the 2:1 transition which always causes sleep to go wonky!    This link might help, although it already looks like you are doing long AM/short PM?

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=41952.0

Is he teething?

[lizzib45]

Thanks ladies. I really feel so stuck and so exhausted sticking to a method of long nights - even just for a few nights- sounds even more draining. Although I have a nice three day weekend this weekend and clearly dont have to get up for work so I can nap when he naps. So... His mornings tend to be shorter awake times- and his morning naps always are the longest (we wake him if he gets to 2 hours ). And I agree he seems to be almost wanting 1 nap a day. I have always let him lead the way but I am thinking I might need to make the command decision and get him to 1 a day. Should I focus on the getting him to sleep on his own first then work on the nap schedule? I feel doing both is going to just exhaust him and cause more issues??? He is teething, ugh, he has 2 incisors coming up top and I can see 1 bottom molar (i think). Hylands teething tablets just got back on the market so we are just starting to try those, and I add advil to his bottle at bed time (advil for him works best). I think I am going to run tomorrow to the book store for that book.

[sianie]

I do think reading one of the Baby Whisperer books would really help you as this site is based on Tracy's teachings & therefore it helps if you know & understand her approach to raising LO's, (I would suggest 'The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer or 'The Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems'.

I know it's exhausting but unfortunately there's no magic wand for making your LO sleep, whatever sleep training method you use it does take time & commitment for it to work, I guess think of it as shoer term pain for long term gain!

The teething certainly won't be helping things....I think you do need to work on getting him to sleep independently as this will then help his routine. He is still young to be on 1 nap but usually from around 12mths old LO's start to transition to 1 nap, which is probably what's happening with your DS, I would stick with your current routine for now until we get him sleeping independently.  

[lizzib45]

Thank you a ton. I feel the exhausted will get to me and not stick to it. But I am going to give it all I got! I like the short term pain for long time gain! He woke at 215 last night, and I got him back to sleep at 245 and he woke at 545 and crashed when I picked him up so we slept together till about 7, which the whole night was so much like our new normal is, and I actually got sleep!!

[sianie]

Good luck....keep us posted! 

[lizzib45]

Round 1: complete. It took 1 hour 20 mins to get him asleep. Although I did pick him up instead of just placing him back down from standing. I have done that before it just irritates him... alot! So I had me some wine to celebrate but now my back hurts and I am exhausted.

[sianie]

Well done for sticking to your guns! 

Hopefully things will be a little easier tonight...hope you enjoyed the wine!

[geetha.pills]

Well done Hope it is easier tonight! Keep us posted on how you get on!

[lizzib45]

Thank you guys so much! he STTN!!! He has done that plenty of times in the past but lately it has been MIA! I heard him shifting around but he never cried out, and he woke at 550! Which is great compared to 5am. Hoping naps goes as well!

[lizzib45]

Update :::: so after DS STTN!!!!! Nap time was he!!...... took another 1.5 hours to get him down. I really think he needs 1 nap a day. But he only slept 1.5 hours and I dont have time to spend another 1.5 hours getting him down for another nap. So we are going to move him bedtime up an hour to see if that helps things. Also. Thinking for nap time he thought it was funny. He wasnt crying the whole time last night, he was sitting on his bum kicking his feet and saying dada or was standing and jumping ! Normal? Maybe he wasnt ready for a nap ? If he is sitting in the crib not crying, so I stick pick him up??? Bed time seemed much more manageable than nap time did!

[sianie]

Sounds like he was UT when you put him down for his nap, especially as he has been STTN, he can probably handle a longer A-time.

You could try pushing the AM nap later & then doing a short 30min cat nap late PM?