2.5 year old won't go to sleep without us in room

[Vally]

My DS has generally been a great sleeper although like any child goes through phases where things change. At the moment he will not go to sleep without one of us in the room. We read his stories and he lies down fine but the minute we go to leave the room he screams so we end up standing by his bed and very gradually moving towards the door until he is asleep. He also occasionally wakes in the night and we have to again sit with him until asleep. We don't feel that WIWO is right for him and my instincts tell me stick to what we are doing as he obviously needs sine reassurance.  He seems to be going through a lot develoemtally also. Any thoughts? Xx

[bettybubs]

No thoughts, but just wanted to let you know that we are having the same problem with our 23 month old. He has always been great up to now at going to sleep on his own. Maybe it is an age related thing. Sorry I can't help, but I have taken comfort in the fact we are not alone :-)

[Vally]

Thanks for your post. Yes good to know not alone on this. My DS seems to be going through a scared of everything phase! He asks about dinosaurs in his bed, crocodiles, tigers in the kitchen!! I am sure his imagination is working in overdrive at the moment so I am sure this doesn't help the sleep situation

[corimorgan]

No answers to this yet?? Mine is 24 months next week and we have the same problem. Never had a sleep issue before this. I tried WIWO and 2 hours later she was still screaming!!! I was sweating and I just couldn't believe she hadn't
Passed out from exhaustion! I am traumatized from that experience! Hope someone can offer a solution!

[Vally]

Yes I find the WIWO pretty exhausting and it just doesn't seem to get us anywhere other than more frustrated and tired. I have had better nights for the last two nights using gradual withdrawal which I find is less tiring and he was asleep by 8 tonight which is better than usual. Let me know if you have any success and hopefully we may get some other ideas

[bettybubs]

tonight I did a couple of WI/WO's, but then when he started to look settled I sat next to his cot and just said sshhh, sleepybyes. He was looking really sleepy around 8 with very heavy eyes, but then he resisited. I sat next to his door and ignored him, but he could still see me. Eventually after he started being silly I told him to lie down in a very firm voice and he did and started to chill. I sat next to his door doing sudoko and didn't say anything else. He finally fell asleep at 8.45. Much better than we have had the last few nights.

My OH and I decided to have our dinner first so we weren't feeling hungry and ruining food while trying to get him down. I definately felt calmer.

Good luck ladies.

[scucci1979]

I know how difficult it is ladies. DD1 just went through this a few months ago and she will be three in November. It was awful. She would cry hysterically, if I left her room. What worked for us was GW. I would stay on her bed for a few nights, then on the floor, then outside her door. Outside her door lasted a few weeks. It was awful. At one point I was sleeping on the floor next to her door. It really sucks. After that, I just kept talking to her and did Wi/WO.  It will get better. These los are growing so rapidly and are becoming aware of there imaginations. 

[Vally]

Sabrina thanks for your post. It is good to hear that it will get better. It has been going on now for a few months and we just keep with the GW but we are starting to worry that he will never be able to go to sleep without our presence. Hopefully this is just another phase!

[Roseii]

HI there, funnily enough I just posted on another thread that we started with GW but had to move to WIWO in the end as we just got stuck...
x

[Vally]

Thanks Charli. Yes I am starting to think we will have to move to WIWO although I find it more exhausting! Has it worked for you? How did you do it?

[Roseii]

Well, tbh we still don't have it all down pat and she's three now
So I went from bf to sleep, to rocking to sleep til about 13mo. I stopped the rocking cold turkey and put her in the cot and lay next to her on a mattress, repeating my sleepy phrase ie "lie down darling it's time to sleep now" She then took to falling alseep touching my face through the bars, and it stayed that way for way too long! So the norm became her falling asleep with me lying next to her, her touching me through the bars. I did the same for NWs (which decreased a lot after I stopped rocking to be fair) It was all rather peaceful to be honest and I only tackled it again when I had dd2 and lying with DD1 quickly became impossible! I tried graduating to the door but it just wasn't working, and after amazing advice on here I went for it with WIWO when she was 22/23mo. I talked to her in the day about it (her comprehension and language was excellent) and she got a new toy (although she didn't care for it!) We were nap dropping anyway so I let her nap in the buggy when she needed it and just tackled bedtime. I put her down and WO. I WI when she was upset upset, not just whining or a bit angry iykwim. Just repeated "it's time to sleep" or something like that. It was hideous and she screamed and screamed and to be honest it did take WEEKS before she stopped crying when I put her down, but she always knew I wasn't abandoning her, and I jsut persevered. SHe is very spirited and touchy so that will have contributed to it taking so long! We then finally got months of blissful bedtimes and 12-13 hour nights with no NWs. It all went wonky when we moved her to a BGB, but we're getting back on track again now.
HTH xx

[bettybubs]

really good to hear a positive story. We are having to do the GW and I am starting to worry we will never get away from it. Only been doing it seriously for 5 days so still time I guess for it to work. Tonight is the first time he has let daddy do bedtime, but that was only as I was late back from work and he doesn't know I'm home! I feel realy awful, but its good to know he will settle for someone else. OH has managed to get downstairs while he is still awake and chatting in his cot too!!!

[Vally]

Bettybubs that is good to hear you are making progress. Just think we will look back on these days and most wish they needed us at bedtime. However saying that it is still frustrating at the time and I would love a good nights sleep!! It's typical, I have had 8 months of bad sleep from dd2 and now she is sleeping DS1 is playing up!!

[bettybubs]

thanks Vally!