Excessive NW 14 month old, never slept through!

[Anales]

Hi all
My little one is 14months old and has never slept the night through, not necessarily a big deal but currently it is excessive waking! Started having biggest issues since starting in creche at 10 months, 3weeks of sickness and stress, leading to more interaction at night with fevers etc, she ended up in our bed alot and got into a habit of having us (mainly me) around when she woke.  So I know this is probably causing the main problems but I cant seem to fix it.
Last few months have been horrific, waking up 2,3, 4 times a night, sometimes for 2 hours at a time.
Tried wi/wo from a few days ago, seemed to help night one but last two nights worse than ever.  I tried a gradual approach as she is very clingy and also we had tried letting her cry it out for  a week so I think she was even more fearful of us not being there!Previously we tried more naps/less naps/later to bed/earlier to bed/giving milk at night/feeding later/bath/no bath!! Pretty much everything!
We get the odd night where its is only 2 wakings but this is rare plus there is no logic in it to base any other nights on !So with wi/wo I have gotten her to at least to the stage of not being picked up from the cot, I gradually leave the room as she calms down but as soon as I leave she jumps up instantly hysterical, I go back in lie her down do the same again, last ngith for 2 hours!
Still she woke at 6am this morning ! Apart from our lack of sleep I am worried about her!
Help please!!

[Roseii]

hi there and welcome

First off as you probably know CIO or CC is something we do not do with BW techniques, we believe there is always a more gentle way, and as you discovered it causes more problems anyway! I really think you need to take a gradual approach with this as you need to regain her trust and make her feel secure again.

Please can you post your LO's routine? WU, nap, BT? Does she nap at nursery? And how do you settle her for naps?

Consistency is the key here so let's see your routine etc and come up with a plan you can stick to

x

[Shiv52]

I think if she has been left to cry she is probably feeling very unsure what is going on.  Especially if you've been taking her into your bed before that etc. 

Have you seen this?

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=126141.0

Routine can have a lot to do with it too so as pp says post your routine and we can see if there are any tweaks you can make that may help.

{{{hugs}}}

[Anales]

Thanks so much! Yes I agree ..and to be honest I very reluctantly let her cry as I feel it is cruel but Dad was adamant we give it a go as nothing else was working!  We do feel awful now that we even did it
I do think that her routine is less structured since creche and it could be the problem but she also seems to be shifting from 2 - 1 naps in there the last few weeks (on and off)

Routine at home is as follows (she is home Sat/Sun & mon)

Wake:  6-6.30am

Bottle: 7floz - 6.45am

Breakfast:  Porride/weetabix/cereal - 8.15/8.30am

Snack:  (not always)  9.15am

Nap 1:  9.30/9.45am - 10.15  (up to 2 weeks ago this was 9.30-11)!!

Lunch:  11.30/11.45am - Lamb stew or meatballs & spaghetti or chicken stew or chicken & veg - eats well!

Snack:  1.30pm - cracquotte or cream cracker or yoghurt or fruit

Bottle:  4floz - 2.15pm

Nap 2:  2.30pm - 3.15/3.30pm (depending on morning nap)

Dinner:  5.30pm Soup or waffles or toast and spaghetti hoops or mash & veg

Pyjamas on 6.30pm
Story/colouring

Bottle: 7.15pm - 7floz

Bed: 7.30pm


Creche routine:

Similar to home but the naps vary - she does not seem to want a morning nap there lately and sleeps after her lunch from approx 12 - 1.15/1.30
(Not long enough I feel since she gets up so early!?)

Also her dinner is slightly later in the week - 5.45pm-6pm

Regarding how she sleeps nap wise - usually goes down for her morning nap no problem at home, gets tired around 9.45/10 and sleeps easily and quickly without much interaction - but lately wakes after 40 mins and wont go back asleep

Nap 2 is usally out and about or in her buggy and weirdly she sleeps longer in her buggy than the cot! Ive thought of bringing the buggy upstairs some nights!

Sorry this is a long post!  thanks for the help so far!!

[Anales]

PS... she is a super baby otherwise, always happy! So I dont think she is being as affected as Mam & Dad are by the night issues!
Milestone wise no issues:
She is walking since she was 11 months, has about 25-30 words (English and Dutch (Dad is Dutch speakign) understands an amazing amount..and eats almost everything! 
if we could sort out the sleep issues we would have a total Angel!!

[Roseii]

She sounds gorgeous I went through a phase of sleeping DD2 in her buggy (laid flat) but she was a fair bit younger. Bit of a pain dragging a great big buggy upstairs lol!

OK I think part of the problem is she's not really having a restorative nap yk? If she's having 2 naps of between 30-60 mins that's not all that long per nap. I would suggest capping that AM nap at about 20 mins (maybe do that one in the buggy?) and aiming for a longer PM nap, hoping she does more like 1.5 hours.

Settling wise, let's make a plan so you can be consistent. Yes it WILL involve crying and upset but it won't last too long if you stick to it and show her you can be consistent and make her feel secure again How do you feel about a nice long wind-down, milk and brush teeth, cuddles and story in her bedroom then GW? I don't know if GW might feel like a step backwards for you but I do think you need to make sure she's feeling secure. I would start by lying next to her cot and saying your sleepy phrase. It's up to you if you PD (I didn't) But just stay there reassuring her until she figures out to lie down and go to sleep. And the next night lie further away, say less etc...What do you think?

xxx

[Anales]

Great idea using the buggy for the morning nap just to see how that goes, although over the weekend we are usually out and about in the afternoons, but we can try!
Not sure what GW is? Sorry quit new to the forum!
But I did a longer wind down tonight, pyjamas, brush teeth, bottle, story and then I kept her on my lap until she was sound asleep, (not sure if that was a good idea!? But I thought it might make her feel safe and content, so far not a peep from her room! But I'm sure this will change!
Also thought of rearranging her room a liitle or would that make her feel worse like she was in a strange room?
Sorry lots of questions! Thanks for the advice so far!

[Roseii]

Oh sorry hun, it's gradual withdrawal, check out this link: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

I think the WD sounds great, I wouldn't get in the habit of letting her fall asleep on your lap but it's great that you're making strides towards making her feel more secure The problem is, where she falls asleep is where she'll expect to wake up, so she'll more than likely want picking up for NWs now, so it's best to try settling her in the cot.

Why did you want to rearrange her room? Sort of like a new start?

x