Help after a crazy month.... PD? GW? WI/WO?? What to do?

[newmum872]

Hello!

A month full of challenging events has meant that my little independent sleeper is no longer one.  We have had 6 teeth break through, one cold, starting nursery three days per week, transitioning from two naps to one, starting to walk and most recently a stomach flu (poor little thing!) which we are just getting over.  At this point I am bfing her back to sleep when she wakes in the night, which is two to three times at the moment.  During some of these nws bfing isn't the quick back to sleep fix that it has always been in the past... it can take longer to get her back to sleep recently.

I am really not sure where to begin.  My little one is 13.5 months now.  I have already cut off bfing at night twice in the past and used pu/pd and just pd to do this.  Is PD still appropriate?  How does wi/wo differ and when should it be used?  Should I address the routine first or is that less of an issue now that it is just one nap?  In terms of our routine at nursery she is put down for her nap between 1 and 1:30 (they cannot put her down earlier).  At home she tends to go down between 12:00 and 1:00.  At home she will sleep between 1.5 and 2.5 hours.  Her naps at nursery have gradually been lengthening as she has become more settled there.  Last week there was one of 1h and 50 min but previous ones have been just over an hour.  Wake up is between 7 and 8 and bedtime is between 7:30 and 8:15. 

My plan is to wait a few days until she is completely over the flu before doing anything but I would be very grateful for some advice! 

[Roseii]

Hi there, your poor LO with all those changes!
My first thought is OT I'm afraid You say you've transitioned to one nap but given she's only 13.5mo she's probably still "in" the transition iykwim, where she copes very well on one nap for a while, then OT sets in. So on nursery days I take it there's no option, she has to sleep at the set time, and just one sleep?
My suggestion would be to start routine tweaking first and you might save yourself the agony of weaning 2/3 NFs Does she still give you a nice long nap on home days? If not I'm wondering if you might want to alternate 1 and 2 naps days. So nursery is 1 nap, home days an AM cat nap and long PM nap iyswim.
So are you currently feeding her to sleep at bt?
x

[newmum872]

Hi!  Thanks for your reply.  Hmmm....yes you might be right.  She is often very, very tired by bedtime.  At nursery they offer a 9:30 nap and one at 1 or 1:30 and those are set times.  At home she is taking a long afternoon nap (often 2 hours +).   She has consistently refused the morning nap at nursery and at home.   I could try offering her a morning catnap on the next day at home...what time would you suggest?  How long should I let her nap during both naps if I do that?

At bedtime I have always tried to avoid feeding her to sleep but recently it has been harder because she has started crying when I approach her bed.  Also she is so tired by bedtime that I can't keep her awake through the feed...not sure what to do about that one?! 

[newmum872]

I asked the nursery to try to put her down for two naps today.  They said that she refused the first nap and was quite upset by lunchtime because she was so tired.  During the afternoon nap (starting after 1) she slept for 30 minutes, woke then resettled for another 20.  So a grand total of only 50 minutes over the entire day!  Of course she was exhausted by early evening.  Any suggestions on how to catch up on overtiredness if she is refusing the morning nap??  What times would you recommend?

Also, I was thinking that it might be worth working on her independent sleep at bedtime while I am adjusting the routine but still feeding her back to sleep during the night wakings for the moment.  Any suggestions for overcoming the problem of her falling asleep during the bedtime feed?  Is PD still appropriate at 13.5 months?  If not how do you do WI/WO?

[newmum872]

Are there any links to explanations of WI/WO and when to use it versus PD? 

[newmum872]

Anyone???

[Colin Macs Mom]

Sorry you haven't had any responses

Have a look here
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

[Roseii]

Hi, so sorry I don't know how I managed to lose this thread!
How are you getting on now? The link Jess posted is useful. WRT PD, I didn't actually PD, I used GW-I lay on a mattress next to the cot and used my sleepy phrase, something like "lie down darling it's time for sleep now" Didn't interact a lot, and didn't PD because she either bounced straight back up like it was a game, or got v upset. The first night it took 2.5 hours, it never took that long again I did the same for NWs.
x

[newmum872]

Hi! Thanks for the replies. In terms of where I am up to now... I have managed to get her back to going to sleep for the night independently. I am not quite sure what I would call what I did. I made sure she stayed awake through her bedtime feed then put her in bed and left. The first couple of nights I had to go back in. I said the sleep phrase, stroked her on the back a little as I said it and tried to leave once she was calm. She tended to get upset immediately when I left so I ended up sitting in the room until she was basically asleep twice....I don't want her to get used to this. I also put her down a couple of times.  She would often try to reach for me which I felt bad ignoring. Does this sound ok? Also when they are very upset should you only comfort through the sleep phrase and stay away from the cot?

I have still been just feeding her when she wakes in the night. Since getting her to fall asleep for the night on her own she has stopped waking about an hour after bedtime but from about 12:30 or 1:00 she is having quite a few nws until morning. These are also becoming longer and she is more easily disturbed by being placed back in her cot. I have tried two naps again. She took two at nursery one day last week after a particularly bad night. After this she was much happier in the evening but it didn't affect her night much. She took two once at home but then the naps were 40 min and 55 min which doesn't seem as resorative as one 1hour 45 min nap or so?! So I am thinking that I will need to cut off night feeds again. Does that sound right? Any other suggestions?


One more question....with wi/wo do you just walk in, say the sleep phrase and walk out or do you stay until she is calm then walk out?

Thanks!

[Roseii]

Hey great progress!

She would often try to reach for me which I felt bad ignoring. Does this sound ok? Also when they are very upset should you only comfort through the sleep phrase and stay away from the cot?

  Such a tricky one. The problem with physical contact (as I found) is it can quickly become another prop...Perhaps when she does this you could quickly stroke her hand, then leave it-ie not hold on to her hand. Just a quick bit of contact to let her know you're there...

I think you prob do need to cut the NFs as again she's reliant on them...Technically you can go cold turkey, she doesn't "need" the milk, but if that's too hard you could set yourself a goal of no NFs before 3am or whatever, and try GW or WIWO to settle. I took to lying by the cot to settle, so no contact or feeding, just my presence. Course you then need to wean that, but it's a step closer!

With WIWO I would just WI, phrase, WO. Only because if you wait for them to calm you could wait a long time!! The idea is, they have to learn to settle alone, but know that you are there, you haven't abandoned them yk?

x