Is the cat nap ruining my EASY and bedtime?

[oneplusone]

Here's my 4-ish hour EASY for my 4.5 month old.

E - 6:30/7:00
S - 8:00 - 45 min, resettle for 30', and usually get another 45' sleep. (I know the first nap is really close to wake up, but he shows sleepy cues and is really easy to settle into bed so I
              let him sleep. I think he's actually waking up earlier and just in his crib not making noise so I don't know he's awake, so his A time is probably longer)
E - 10:30/11:00
S - 12:30/1:00 - 1.5 to 2 hours with no resettling! Yay! This took a lot of work to get
E - 2:30/3:00
S - 4:30/5:00 - attempt cat nap for 45', then get 45' of sleep
A - bedtime routine 6-7 - bath with Dad, lotion & pj's, nurse, 1 book, sleep sac, and bed.
E - 7:00
S - 8:00

Looks pretty good??? But the bedtime is too late and it takes me an hour to settle him. He's been screaming and screaming. I always thought screaming was OT, but maybe it's UT b/c his cat nap is too close to bedtime. I think it's the cat nap that's ruining everything. All my other naps are usually pretty easy to get him to settle for, like 5-10 min, after a lot of work to et past the 45' wakeup. The cat nap is just torture. He's usually 45 min of fighting and then I end up AP'ing him to sleep by rocking and holding him. I really think he needs that cat nap, but then he wakes up about 6 or 6:15 ... and isn't ready to go to bed at 7:00.  Is the cat nap too close to bed time? How can I get him to go down for the cat nap easily? Is he too little to drop the cat nap? Thanks

[ZacsMumme]

Argh, I wrote a lovely long reply and then knocked the power cord off my computer - idiot!

Anyway I as going to say I think your LO may need a touch longer A time for that first nap to get past the 45min mark. I would first try adding 15mins onto it and then see how he sleeps for he next few days. You just want him a touch tireder to sleep past that 45 min mark.

That said a lot of babies between 3-6months sleep for 45mins then wake, it is in part developmental. Have you tried W2S at ~35min mark for that Am nap? It looks like your PM nap is after a 2hr A time? That is quite long, but if it is working for you then stick with it

The CN timing looks good for his age. Has he always been on the higher side of A times? If so then this may also need a touch more before the CN is taken. I would either push BT out a touch so maybe after a 1.5hr A time or cap the CN to 30mins and PD after 1hr A...making any sense?

[~Emma~]

Just to add  but the CN is seen as a 'freebie.'  AP it if you need to, its just important that he has it. When my DS was ickle I timed it during errands in the car and he would sleep there, or walk the dogs and he'd sleep in the buggy. The length was variable, sometimes only as little as 20 mins but it got him through to BT with minimal fuss. Its OK to AP as you'll be dropping it in a couple of months anyways! 

 I agree re pushing the first A, lots of bubs need pushed with their A times and although the first A can be shorter it is pretty teeny for a bub his age. You never know it might just get him past that horrid 45 min mark. 

[oneplusone]

Thanks! I've tried WTS, holding through the jolts, etc... that's why the second nap has been a success. I think with the first nap, he's actually waking up earlier than 6:30 or 7:00 and just lies in his crib quietly, so he's actually getting more A time than I realize. He goes to sleep so easily for the first nap, I don't mind the resettling. As for the cat nap, I try to get him down and it's a big fight and then I end up APing him to sleep. Glad to know that's ok, but he won't tell me rock him etc... unless he's really worked up, so it turns into an hour fight for a 45 min nap. I'll try a longer A time after the CN.... hope it works tonight!

[ZacsMumme]

I wouldnt worry about APing the CN, they drop it anyway If all other naps are in the cot then he should be fine but maybe add a touch longer A before the CN and see if he goes down easier. Some LOs never like the CN, my DS fought tooth and nail to not take it for every CN he had

I would stick with your first and second A times then if they are working and you are okay to resettle for the first one. It looks like you have a good EASY.  (HUGS)

[oneplusone]

Thanks. I AP the cat nap today and he went to sleep pretty easy from 4:40-5:20. Then bedtime routine and eating by 6:30 (a little ealier) and ready for bed by 7:00. All is good and then 40' of screaming until asleep. Better than yesterday's full hour of screaming. But still not great. He's fighting it so I know he's trying to tell me he wants something different. Just not sure what it is??? I don't really want his BT later than 7:00 bc he's pretty much always awake at 6:30. So ealier bedtime? Drop the cat nap? I think he still needs it, but obviously something has to change since BT didn't used to be such a fight.

[ZacsMumme]

LOL I just realised I totally didn't see Emma's post (sorry hun!) so I pretty much repeated what she said re the CN mustn't have had my coffee yet!

He is too young to drop the CN. mmmm maybe bring BT forward a touch? - How long is your WD to bed, what is your WD BT routine?

[oneplusone]

Usually around 6:00 or 6:15 he had a bath in the bathtub with Dad for about 15' and then lotions, diaper & pj. Then I nurse him on both sides ~ 15'. Then I take him in his room give him a soother, read goodnight moon, swaddle him in his sleep sac, turn on white noise, turn out light, and rock him for a bit ~ 2-5' depending on if he gets squirmy. If he gets squirmy or burrows or arches I put him in his crib & pat or leave him if he's grumbling to himself (his mantra). So it's probably an hour including bath, nursing etc... And it was 1.5hrs from cat nap last night, but took him another 40' to fall asleep w pu/pd. So over 2 hrs of A time. Maybe he needs more A time before bed? So hard to decide if OT or UT? Any other suggestions? Thanks so much! I love BW and this forum!

[~Emma~]

2 hours of A post CN is def alot for that age but some do last longer, I know my DD did.

 How was she whilst you were PU/PD? Pretty upset?

[oneplusone]

I tried to shorten BT and have he already to go and that's when the fussing starts, just when I'm going to put him in the crib. It's not the crib bc naps are no problem now. I try to let him settle on his own, which equals screaming!!!! And he never screams. If he's grumpy he grumbles and grunts. So w pu/pd he calms in my arms and obviously wants to sleep there as he screams when I put him down... Maybe he needs less A time before bed? But how do I do that with all the screaming? I have condensed my wind down and am very consistent with it. Thanks for your help! Oh and I just got a perfectly timed nap this am after 1hr 45' of A time so we'll see if that helps. It was so easy! I love BW so much. When you time it right, it's amazing!

[~Emma~]

Have you tried just sh-pat for BT? PU/PD may be a touch too stimalting for him. 

[oneplusone]

Yes, I sh/pat first. I only pu if screaming b/c sh/pat isn't working. It's frustrating b/c as soon as I pu he relaxes in my arms and almost falls asleep, so I know he's super tired, just can't fall asleep himself.