Paci-addicted toddler

[Ambinsi]

I'm not sure if this is in the right place because this really isn't "sleep" prop issue, so feel free to move if necessary.

My 18 month old is addicted to the paci. She loves it!!! She would suck on it all day long if I'd let her (which I won't). We've been trying to have it less "available" to her by leaving it in the crib. If she finds one laying around and I see her with it, I try not to make an issue out of it. I'll ask her for it and she used to give it up, now she refuses unless she's eating or drinking. She will almost never just hand it over anymore. She's also started crying at the door to her bedroom (usually closed) because she knows they are in there. I also keep them in a certain spot in the kitchen and she stands under the counter in that spot and cries. Sometimes I can distract her but sometimes I feel guilty and give it to her, she seems so sad

There are some issues here....one is that she's not really speaking yet. She has very few words (momma, mom, etc.) and I know the paci isn't helping in that department. I don't really want her to have it during the day/outside the crib for this reason. At this rate she'll never talk, right? However, it breaks my heart to hear her cry for it, I feel like I'm denying her something that gives her security and comfort, especially while she's teething, etc. Ugh what to do? It also doesn't help that she has a 2 month old baby brother who sometimes has a paci (different brand). I feel like that is unfair to her.

So what to do? Is this just a matter of me needing to be stronger and not give in to her? I feel guilty saying this but sometimes I am busy with DS and can't distract her from it in other ways. At 18 months old, am I expecting too much from her that I feel its time to give it up??

HELP please. I am very concerned about her lack of speech.

[Lolly]

I think if you decide when she has it and stick to it she will get the message eventually, maybe have a lovie or special toy she can have instead of the paci?

Just so you know you are not alone I have a 29 month old paci adict, she is nap dropping at the moment so there is no way I can get rid of it until this settles down. We went througha phase of only at bedtime, but we started letting her have it more often and she is pretty reliant on it at the moment .

I don't think it has that much of an impact on speech though, she is talking well and has quite a good vocab for her age. We do insist she takes the dummy out when she is speaking if she has it though and she is starting to do this automatically now!

Laura

[Ambinsi]

Thanks Lolly....I do feel in my heart like its delaying her speech

She does have a lovie, which she is VERY attached to but when she wants that paci she cries for it in the most heartbreaking way. I think its my guilt over not being able to comfort her as much when I'm busy with the new baby that makes me give in. I definitely have to make an effort to be more consistent.

[Roseii]

Very similar situ here, my 16yo is very addicted to hers, and same as you she used to only really have it for sleep and car journeys, but now she wants it all the time! If we're out and about and she is walking she's fine without it, but at home or in the buggy, always wants it Oh she's happy without it in the garden. It's partly a boredom thing I think, if she's not distracted enough she wants it. But who can distract their kid constantly 12 hours a day DD1 gave hers up voluntarily at 16m and already had TONS of words, very early with her vocab. DD2 barely says anything (mummy, daddy, cat, ta, and one word "tatie" which is Katie, doggy and various other things ) Does your LO babble and try and converse, even if it's not words? That's more important than actual words right now I think xx

[~inbalance~]

Oh wow, I could have written your post word-for-word!  Right down to DS2 crying at his bedroom door to get one or at the 'spot' in the kitchen where he knows I keep them.  A few weeks ago we were doing really well with him only using it for sleep, but since he has been teething his last two canines he is just a wreck and wants it all the time.  TBH if he is going to throw a fit over it he can have it.  I do try to keep it away from him as much as possible, mostly because he is actually getting a rash from using it so much.    But for now it seems like for whatever reason, developmental or teething, he needs it and I'm just not willing to listen to that kind of screaming (he is already in mega tantrum territory as it is ).

As for the speech, DS2 has very few words (in fact he only has a couple and no one else would understand them but me, AND one of them is "suckie" aka "uh-ee" for his soother!  ), but I'm not worried about it being because of the paci necessarily.  DS1 did not have a paci at this age and he had no words either, but at 18mos he did start talking more.  And DS2 communicates way more effectively than DS1 did.  It's just one of those things.  The paci probably does delay it a bit, but I don't think it's a huge issue.

But yeah, operation keep the pacis in the crib is in effect!  (or at least I'm trying to implement it!)

[Ambinsi]

Oh wow....so nice to know its not just me!!! I definitely am concerned about her lack of speech, I can't help it. She did everything else very quickly (milestone-wise, I mean) and therefore perhaps my expectations are unrealistic. I know lots of people say the paci doesn't interfere but I just can't help feeling like it is. Her pediatrician is also encouraging me to give it to her in the crib only at this point. I have her 18 month visit next week, so I plan on talking to him then about this (her speech, not necessarily the paci).

So glad to know its not just me....so you just let them be "ready" to give it up? Did anyone see the Sesame Street episode about this?? Bye-bye Binky....Binky bye-bye.

[~inbalance~]

I think we need to get past any 18mo sleep regressions or developmental leaps first....

If this had been my first child I'd probably be more worried about the speech thing.  Since I've BTDT that DS1, I'm not too worried, but of course like to keep an eye (or an ear ) on it.  I do suspect that DS2 would have more language now if he didn't have the paci as he has always seemed a bit ahead than DS1 in that department, so it might have slowed him down a little, but I'm sure he will catch up. 

[scsparks06]

I have a 2.5 yr old addict, but we implemented the keep it in the bed policy ages back. We knew he was using it for comfort during the day, so we made him keep it in bed. The difference however was that he could have it when he needed it, in bed. So if he was having a bad moment, he could take himself to bed and suck as needed. We kept one in his bed upstairs and one in the guest room downstairs. We found this was a great way for him to be able to control the paci while we simultaneously controlled the paci. He was in a bed by 20 mos, but I imagine you can do it in a guest bed/special corner of the house/crib also. Within months he dropped the need to head upstairs at every tantrum and he only takes his paci at nap/bed now. The car is another story too. We "accidently" forgot it one day and he never really looked back.  The problem is when we go on trips - he gets it in the hotel room and so he knows we have one in our pocket. He is a menace to society until he gets it for his carseat nap while traveling. That's a toughie for us. GL!