OK, back.
In answer to your main question re eyes open. It sounds like the 'seven mile stare' which Tracy describes as one of the stages of a LO falling to sleep. I remember my LO sometimes going the entire length of a nap seemingly with his eyes open (although he must have blinked occasionally!) just gazing, but content and relaxed. I left him to it. If he started to fuss I firstly reassured him I was there and if he continued then I did as you are and tried to settle in the cot with shush pat or a hand rubbing his tummy whilst he was still swaddled, the motion was soothing but it meant he remained in the cot more often. At that young age I even rocked the cot a little (although Tracy didn't advise rocking, lots of people use a little AP at such a young age. I don't think it does any harm so long as you're you still have your mind on independence). If she is calm with her eyes open she is still getting some rest even if not sleep, so it's better than a highly stimulating A time.
With regard your A and S times. It sounds as though you are starting to time the S from eyes closing but your LO isn't yet asleep if she is fussing, crying or moaning with her eyes closed, therefore this still counts as A time. Anything that is not sleeping is counted as A.
For example today
WU 7.00
A 7.00 (including 8.08 in the cot fussing for 20 mins) = 1 hr 30
S 8.30 (you say she slept for 30 mins in your arms waking at 9.00)
A 9.00 (30 mins plus 25 mins of shush pat) = 55 mins
S 9.55
Do I have this right? It looks like her A times were 1 hr 30 (rather than 1 hr
and 55 mins (rather than 45 min).
After her first short nap it would be right to have a shorter A time than usual. So to answer your question about reducing A times, yes after a short nap, but not if she has had a good nap. You wouldn't be reducing every A to 45 mins so unlikely to get too much sleep in the day. I'm not totally sure how you're getting more than 5 hr 30 day sleep if the naps are usually short and with a lot of fussing and soothing prior to the nap, it could be that you're counting cot time as S rather than actual sleep time. What do you think?
I think at this age, with short naps and with the possible OT I wouldn't wake from a nap. If she was sleeping 5 hrs straight in the day then this would signal day and night confusion but it doesn't sound like that's the problem here. It's ok to be flexible with your EASY, she would wake if she was hungry so it most likely prioritising sleep as biggest need at the time. When she wakes, if it has gone past her E time, feed then start counting her next E time from then. This way you'll avoid OT and she will also learn to transition between sleep cycles on her own.
When DS was that young I often held him until his eyes were nodding and he was just about to fall asleep, then I'd tell him I was putting him down so he could have a proper sleep. If he began to fuss as I put him down I'd continue to leave my hands on him, shush/pat and see if his fussing reduced. If it began to escalate I cuddled some more until he was again drowsy and repeat the process of telling him I was putting him down.
I felt it was important he knew he was being put down so he didn't get a surprise when he transitioned or woke and he was also learning to fall to sleep on the mattress instead of in my arms. I need to stress this is not PUPD as there was no waiting for him to cry, it was a very gentle move to the cot with lots of cuddles and reassurance.
Let us know how you get on.