Please please please help! Naps perfect but many night wakings!

[lilly77]

I've had many issues with my LO and i've posted on here lots of times before...

She is nearly 5 months old and has never STTN. (well apart from once the night we flew back from holiday)

I have her EASY down perfect now!!  And the amazing thing is, it's really worked - she self settles for naps and bedtime, she goes down like clockwork and is a very good girl at going to bed.  She goes down AMAZING for naps (it never ceases to amaze me that she self settles as my DS never did)

However, night after night after night.. she wakes up.  On a good night she wakes up once but on a bad night it's up to 5 times.  In the beginning it was v v difficult these night wakings as she was staying awake and needed rocking to sleep for sometimes an hour (this was before she managed to self settle)

For the last month though, she wakes at different times but is very easy to get back to sleep.  She's very unpredictable with the times, and she's not feeding at night anymore and hasn't done for the past month.  All it takes is me or DH shushing her and putting her dummy back in and she'll go right back to sleep.  We don't get her out of her cot or pick her up.  She is in our bedroom which is small, and will be until we move house as we only have a 2 bed with my 8yr old son in the other room. 

Her EASY looks like this:

E 7am wake and bottle
A
S 9am nap for 1 hr sometimes 1.5hr

E 11am bottle
A
S 12pm nap for 1 hr sometimes 1.5-2hrs

E 3pm bottle
A
S 4-5pm catnap sometimes for 45 mins

6pm bath

E 6.45pm bottle bedtime story and bed
A
S 7pm sleep

S 10.30/11pm dreamfeed

Now it gets hairy, on a good night she'll sleep until 2/3am then 7am.  On a bad night she'll wake 9pm, 10pm, 2am, 4am, 6am - it differs every single night! all it takes though is a quick dummy replug and she'll go right back down.

Is it the dummy?!? I would hate to wean her from it now:-(  She's such a sucky baby and loves the dummy for comfort, however she doesn't need it to fall asleep.  She mostly does have it when going to sleep but she has gone to sleep without it, we don't put the dummy back in after the dreamfeed.  It's just that when she wakes up, if i put her dummy in she'll go back down.  Should I try shush pat instead of replugging the dummy?

I really want a plan of action before I do anything at night and would LOVE advice on how to stop her waking in the night.  It's not so bad as me and DH have got so used to waking in the night, but I'm aware we should probably try to sort it soon.

Please please help any advice much appreciated!!
xxx

We dreamfeed her at 1030/11pm every night

[Bex09]

Hi there. You are right that your routine looks great and fantastic that your DD is self settling. I also think that you are spot on that the dummy has become a prop. So your DD feels like she needs it to resettle.

There are two things you can do really, wean the dummy and yes you would use shush/pat instead of replugging. Or you can ride it out until your DD can replug her own dummy and then it is no longer a prop as she can control it. My DD had reflux so we didnt want to wean the dummy either and we just put lots of them around her cot so she could always find one and also gave her loads of practise during the day of replugging her own dummy.

[lilly77]

Yeah I feel too mean to wean the dummy from her, it's such a comfort and she also had reflux and acute colic in the beginning which is under control now, even though she is pretty sicky up baby it doesn't seem to bother her as much.

I think i will try practice with her putting her dummy in... i think she's a long way off trying to do it at night herself, but we can probably ride it out until she can.  Since she's in our room being so close to us it's not SO bad but we have had the odd night of awful night wakings (like last night, funnily enough - 6 times!! But she also wouldn't settle herself at 7pm which is unlike her - may be teething issue who knows)

It's funny how you just used to the night wakings :-(

Anyway thanks so much for your advice so much appreciated!!

xxx

[becj86]

I found I would try to settle DS before he really needed it - are you going in too early (when she is just fussing)?
I'd keep the dummy - its so helpful as a comfort item and for us it has been a godsend when DS is teething.

[lilly77]

I probably am going in too early as our bedroom is small and DH works, so when she cries I go to her straight away - she starts off like 'uh uh uh uh' but  I know her, and believe me if we leave her she'll cry. She's a very loud demanding baby in the day, even though she's great at naps and bedtime, I'd say she was a spirited baby (I thought she was grumpy & touchy in the beginning but that turned out to be the reflux and colic).
If we do leave her, when is the cut off point to when we go and get her,  when it's a proper stressed cry? Her cot is pretty much next to our bed so we'd have to lie there and listen which would be pretty hard!

I agree again about the dummy though.. if it's not the dummy she's sucking on her hands, fingers, muslin - anything that's near her mouth!

[becj86]

Yep, exactly what I thought and was doing with DS (also spirited) - he's right across the hall, DH works and is an incredibly light sleeper. It was hard to listen to the noises and not help. He took ~15mins to settle when I intervened but only ~5 at the most when I didn't, so from the first night or two, we knew we were doing the right thing. After a week or so of letting him settle himself and only going in if he was really crying, he sleeps silently all through the night now

The cutoff is when she's not mantra crying any more.

[Bex09]

I would wait until DD is doing an 'I need you now cry' that has escalated, not just a mantra cry. You want to try to give her time to try to settle herself but not to the point where she needs you and is left to cry on her own. Does that make sense? Good luck with the replugging, some nights will be better than others.