Help! PU/PD was too traumatic and exhausting!!

[Makylasmama]

LO turned 4 mo on November 18. That week I started transitioning to 4hr easy because she stopped taking long naps. I thought maybe I just needed to move her from 3-4hr routine.

7am Wake LO to breastfeed.
7:30 Diaper Change/dress
7:30-8:30 Activity
8:30 LO gets sleepy early.  I try to wind her down and hold her to keep her from getting to stimulated.
9:00 S. I used to just go into the nursery, swaddle her, and hold her on my shoulder until she got sleepy and then put her down in crib and she would go to sleep without a fuss. But around 2.5-3mo that stopped working. I think because she became more aware of her surroundings and wanted to look around. So I started bouncing or rocking her (yup, I realize this is a prop). It gets her to sleep pretty quickly but she startles and wakes and is unable to return to sleep 20-40 minutes after I put her down. I also no longer swaddle since she is able to roll now.
9:20 Try to bounce her back to sleep again. Usually I can get her back to sleep by bouncing but it takes longer the second time. If I put her down she may sleep another 20-40min. Occasionally she'll sleep an hour if no sounds interrupt her. Sometimes I just continue to hold her after she falls asleep the 2nd time.
11am Feed
11:30 Diaper Change
11:30-1 Activity
1-3 S. Same routine as 9-11. If I have to go out to run errands she sleeps well in the car/stroller. She'll take a 2 hour nap easily in the car.
3pm Feed
3:30-5 Activity
5 or 6 catnap depending on when I see sleepy signs. Same sleep routine as earlier.
6:30 bath
7pm Feed to sleep (yup another prop, but she sleeps through the night so I don't mess with it). Some nights she wakes after the feed and I have to bounce her to sleep and sometimes she wakes again (this bouncing and waking has gone on as long as 2 hours in the past)
10:30pm Dream Feed and LO sleeps through till 7am most nights. Most mornings I have to wake her.
A few nights a week, the nighttime routine changes and I give the catnap, feed at 7pm and don't do bath until 8 or 8:30 and then feed to sleep but don't do dream feed on those nights. Either way LO sleeps through the night.

I am getting desperate with LO not staying asleep during naptime. She is clearly tired and needs more sleep but I can't bounce her or hold her for two hours. Yesterday I tried PU/PD to try to break the prop dependency but she didn't seem to understand it was sleepy time. She just cooed and babbled and smiled at me as I tried to pat and shush her. After an hour she started getting fussy so I did PU/PD which made her hysterical. She couldn't be consoled with a pu or pd.

This morning I gave in and bounced her because I was exhausted and so was she. But she only took a 40 min nap. HELP!! PU/PD was just too traumatic and exhausting!!

[creations]

Hi makylasmama and welcome to BW

When you transitioned from 3 hr EASY to 4 hr EASY did you go in increments over a period of days/weeks?
Did your LO cope well with the extended time between feeds?  Do you think any of the disturbed sleep could be down to hunger?

Are there any health issues such as reflux or silent reflux, or teething going on at the moment?

I wouldn't advice PUPD at the moment.  This method is a last resort method and if at all possible you should try to look at everything else first.  The day's EASY and A times and level of stimulation, the wind down routine, soothing in the cot etc all come before planning to PUPD.

I would work on eliminating the bouncing in arms by soothing to sleep in the cot, I also suggest breaking the feed to sleep habit at BT, I know you say you are getting good nights but on the occassion she wakes after BT you are spending a long time resettling with the bouncing, so she needs to learn to self settle in the cot without bouncing or feeding to sleep.