How to schedule/space out feeds to get on EASY

[mokabean82]

Hi, I'm totally new to the BW books and trying to get my DD on the EASY routine!

She's 5 months... will be 6 months old in a week! And has been EBF the entire time. We haven't really started solids, I guess we need to get ready to do that! I've fed her "on demand" for all of this time, which hasn't been a problem for me, except I think it's affected her sleep. I picked up Tracy's first book after taking DD to the doctor for waking up 30 times per night (yes! 30! Ok sometimes it was only 10 or 15, but 10-30 wakings every night). Dr. said "Let her cry. All night if you have to." Well, I didn't think that was an appropriate response and asked about reflux. He gave us Zantac to try and I think it's actually making a difference. She hasn't had a horrific night since. Sometimes she even only wakes twice! Usually it's more like 4-6 times (but she also has a cold. Why does that happen when I'm ready to try something new?) Ok, I'm getting way off track here!

So after reading the first book it occurred to me that I haven't really been feeding her "on demand" I've been feeding her "on every little whim." She was born 2 weeks early, but big (8 lb 9 oz) then lost a lot of weight and was jaundiced, so the doctors recommended feeding often. As a nervous new mommy, it became my mission to put some weight on that girl! And it worked. Breast feeding became easy after the first couple weeks and DD plumped right up (she's been in the 100th percentile since she was a few weeks old). But she also cried a lot for the first 3 months. She's a spirited little redhead. And (silly me) I just assumed she was hungry all the time! Nursing always comforted her! So she'd cry and I'd nurse her and we'd both be happy again. At one point (maybe 6 or 8 weeks old?) I kept track and I was nursing her about 30 times in 24 hours.   It's mellowed out a lot since she's older. And she stopped all the crying, so I just nursed her whenever she squalked or if we were going to leave somewhere so I wanted her to be full or I felt too full or I was bored... I had no idea how often I was supposed to be feeding her, so I just fed her often! Usually every hour or two. Sometimes I'd realize 3 hours had passed and I'd feed her. At night, the only way I can get her back to sleep is by nursing (at nap time I was either nursing her or she naps in the ergo carrier). So there's a lot of nursing going on around here.

Well, upon reading the first book (and now I'm reading the Solves All Your Problems book for further guidance) I realized that I wasn't even listening to DD and what she needed! I was just shoving a boob in her face to shut her up. (Not intentionally, my heart was in the right place, I really thought that's what she wanted!) I'm eager to get her started on an EASY routine in hopes of making our days a little more predictable, getting her to nap well (and not on me), and hopefully sleep better at night.

So, my question! How do you go from feeding at any random moment of the day to once every four hours? About a week or so ago, I started just waiting for her to "seem hungry" and I noticed that by spacing out feeds even that much she spit up a lot less, and like I said she's sleeping better at night. (So now I don't know if it's the zantac or the feeding schedule or both). Occasionally she can go 4 hours. Usually once per day. Sometimes she'll go 3, but other times she'll start crying for food and licking my shirt an hour and a half or 2 hours after eating. I also sometimes end up succumbing to nursing her to sleep for a nap if she gets so overtired in the ergo that she's been crying for half an hour in there. It all feels so random. I try to keep logs every day, but I don't really see a pattern. I read the chapter on transitioning from a 3 hour EASY to a 4 hour EASY. But that's not really what we're doing. We're transitioning from nothing to something. Obviously I should feed her when she's hungry, right? But how do I encourage her to go longer between feeds?

My goal is to use Tracy's plan to start an older baby on EASY this Thursday, assuming we're over the cold. That will also be the first day we do PU/PD and/or shh/pat to get to sleep (and I'm super nervous!) I originally wanted to sort of transition in chunks, but I'm having a hard time sorting out how to do that, so we're just going to jump in (yikes!) In the meantime, I'd like to do as much as I can to get her close to the 4 hour feeding schedule so that the whole routine isn't such a shock to her poor little system. Of course, the cold is making it more complicated because she wants extra comfort and I want to make sure I'm comforting her! I obviously want to wait until she's well before I start, but I don't want to wait too long because she's almost 6 months old and over 20 pounds and I can't keep wearing her for naps everyday!

I feel like I'm doing better at understanding when she's really hungry, but not as well as I'd like to be doing.

Was that way too much? I'm chronically sleep deprived, so I might not be making any sense!

[Mum to Sara]

Hi there!
I can't help you much, i am in the same boat with 3.5 month LO, but I'd say 2 things
A. It's best to start a new routine when LO is over her cold or you might end up giving up to keep her happy, justifiably so.
B. you might want to post this on the EASY forum to get the right responses
Good luck!

[Tay]

Hiya!
I can totally empathise with you, I done the same thing with DD, just kept feeding her at any given minimal cry, which led to feeding to sleep and me completely lifeless The thing is: it always worked to settle her, to get her to sleep... s it was hard for both of us to break that cycle.
Waking up 10-30 times a night for a feed does sound like reflux tbh, feeding soothes the wee throat and that's why they want fed all the time. DS was diagnosed with reflux (DD wasn't at the time, only later with MPI) and he was waking up all those times until he was given a right dose of meds. It was only until then as well that I could notice some pattern in his feeding and sleeping, before it was all over the place.
So, if you're happy enough that she's getting the right dose of Zantac and it's working, what I would suggest is that you write down how a day goes and we can have a look at where you can start tweaking things, extending feeds etc.
Does she fall asleep independently sometimes or is she always fed to sleep?
xx

[*Liz*]

Yikes  . 30 times a night is HIDEOUS  .

Sounds like reflux and a mixture of props as well I assume at this point. Where does your LO sleep at night? Do they always fall asleep on the boob?

What other reflux symptoms are there here? Crying? Spit up? Funny poops? Choking episodes?

[mokabean82]

Thank you so much for the empathy! It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one who's ever found herself in this boat.

I gave myself a little hug and a reality-check and realized that I'm not doing myself any favors by freaking out about rushing to get her on a routine after having absolutely none. So we're riding out the cold!

In the meantime, I saw a lactation specialist yesterday, who recommended I start her on solids (I knew the time was coming! She's almost 6 mo!) and said not to worry so much about her going 4 hours between every feed just yet as it's so hard to tell how much she takes in any given feed. She is making it about 4 hours sometimes (usually once a day), so that's a start.

As I look over our logs (I've been recording everything!) we don't really have a "typical" day right now, and I'm guessing a lot of that has to do with the cold! Super short naps have thrown a real wrench in trying to stick to an EASY format, so we're going to tackle naps as soon as her little nose clears up.

Yes, I suspect it's a big combo of reflux, props, and developmental changes! That's why it feels a little overwhelming... there are so many issues, it's hard to know where to start. But we have her 6 mo checkup on Tuesday, so we should be able to talk about the zantac at that appointment and go from there.

Currently, she sleeps in an Arms Reach cosleeper next to my bed at night. I'm still swaddling her, and I always feed her to sleep at night as well as in the middle of the night. (I do try to calm her by patting, then by picking up, but if we're being honest, in the middle of the night, I must only last about 2 minutes before I put her on the boob.)

During the day she mostly sleeps in the ergo carrier (front pack). I'm trying this as a transition from feeding to sleep for every nap because she seems to like napping in there, but now she fights it sometimes! So I guess I need to get myself ready for pu/pd in her cosleeper. I mean, why have a screaming baby attached to me? Yes, this is sounding more like a topic for sleep or EASY than for breastfeeding!

She doesn't really cry during feeds, but until we started on zantac, her feeds were always super small and frequent, so that might have been a factor. She would cry, though, if I set her on her back right after she ate (which of course is what we'd do at night). She was spitting up a ton, often projectile, but she never acted like it hurt her. In fact sometimes she'd screech right after eating, then spit up and be happy. She's had several choking episodes! I took her to the doctor for it because it freaked me out and they said she probably had a cold and was having a hard time eating and breathing at the same time! I was frustrated because I didn't think that was the case.

What should I be looking for as far as funny poops? I feel like they're always different!

Thanks so much for your help everyone!

[mokabean82]

Oh and I meant to say that when we're over this cold, I'll post our current day in case it's enlightening in any way!

[Erin M]

You've got some good reflux eyes headed your way I'm sure, but I just wanted to add that my ds is getting over a cold and it has really shortened our A times, so I'd definitely wait until she's better to press on.