Can I do it alone?

[bflorrie]

Hi,

Am a single FTM with my angel bub of 2.5 months. I live with my parents. I want to sleep train LO but the problem is no one at home believes a child can be sleep trained. I have, on my own, taught LO the EASY method and we are on a 3hr program. However this schedule is only followed if am around.

The issue is, I return to work In a month's time and my mom will look after LO while am away. She does not plan to follow any of my routines coz she believes a child will sleep, feed n wake whenever he wants to. She is a strong headed mom so there's no chance of changing her mind. I put LO on EASY By my self and am so proud and grateful to this forum for the help. I have read success stories of Pu/pd and Tracy's interview and I know it will be challenging too do it by myself especially since no one at home supports me and there's a good chance they will not follow LO routine when am away.

So am wondering, should I go ahead and go it alone; (i am a coward and can hardly stand to hear my Lil' bub cry. I cannot imagine doing it alone over 30 times the first night and having him cry, not to mention the fact that my mom will probably not let me 'torture' (according to her) LO with sleep training, so she'll probably scream at me to stop ) or should I wait till I get my own place (in 4 months) and can have my own rules and raise my child they best way I know how?

I would hate to see all my effort go to waste and make LO Cry in vain.

Is it worth training LO now? Can I do Pu/pd alone and in an environment with extreme resistance?

Thanks in advance.

[anna*]

At two months bubs is too young for PUPD anyway, so I'd wait til you're at your own place.

[j.and.e]

tbh i wud not do sleep training at 2.5mo as bub is still so tiny. Just keep on as u are, avoid feeding to sleep and help lo to settle in her crib whenevr possible. If u have no choice to leave Lo with ur mum try and explain baby is happiest when she gets enuf sleep. Hopefully ur mum will realise that u know ur Lo best and will respect ur wishes xx

[bflorrie]

I took your pieces of advise and will wait till Lo is a Lil' older. However since my last post, his sleep issues seem to be getting worse.

We are on a 3hrs EASY where either he has 3 naps of 2-2.5 hrs with 1.20 hrs of A time between or 2 naps of 2-3 hrs, and 1 CN. However bedtime is not easy. It takes him about 45 mins to 1hr  to settle. He used to go to bed at 11pm but I have managed to bring it closer to 10pm the last week and am aiming for 7.30 to 8pm. The past 2 nights he has been waking up after his night feeds. if I soothe him in my arms while sitted it takes an hr for him to settle, when I stand n rock him in my arms, its about 5 mins.

What is causing this? We have a pretty well set sleep routine and he is yawning and drowsy 5 mins into it, but will not settle easily. I do not understand these night wakings after feeds.

Any advise?

[amayzie]

Can you please post your typical day in an EASY format like this:

E: 7:00
A: 7:00-8:20
S: 8:20-10:40

And lay out the whole day? This will make it easier to see what's happening for you and where you need a tweak!

Hugs- you have done so well so far! Hats off to single mums dealing with grandmas! (Grannys are great- but sometimes i think i need a book for dealing with them!)

[bflorrie]

thanks, its challenging raising LO alone, and its God's Grace that keeps me going when times are hard.

yesterday his day was like.
E- 8.15
A 8.20
S 9.45

E 11.50
A 12pm
S 1.45pm,

E 3.20
A 3.40
S.4.30

E 6.45
A 7pm
Bath at 8.30 bedtime routine and in bedroom by 9 after a feed. He slept at 9.10. Woke up when I was putting him down. Soothed him till 10.15 when he slept. last night he woke at 12.20am at stayed up wrigling, grunting, n restless after feed till about 1.50am woke again at 4 till 4.45 n this morning he has just woken up at 6.40am crying for no reason. He has refused to feed, but has fallen back to sleep after 20 mins of soothing in my arms.

All this is new coz he was such a good night sleeper before.

[amayzie]

If i'm reading this right, your little guy was awake in the evening from 6.45pm until 9.10pm? no cat nap in there? If that's correct that seems like a long time for his age and he might be over tired when he's heading to bed. That means he's not able to settle properly. It could be the cause of him waking as you put him in bed, and taking so long to go back to sleep (Poor baby and mummy!! How horrible to be soothing him for that long!), and can ALSO cause extra waking at night, and early wake ups!

You said you've tried moving the bed time which is great- I reckn you could try bringing it even further forward. If you try to stick to the same sort of A time at the end of the day- or less, little babies can get really tired near the end of the day- you might have more luck. Remember generally you count A time as everything the baby does while he's awake- eating, the whole pre-bed wind down, settling in the cot until he's asleep!

So- based on the easy you've written you could try getting him in bed/asleep at 7.55, so starting the bedtime routine at 7.25.. It's a pain as it's right when your parents are probably sitting down to tea, and if your they are working they probably want to see your LO.. but it won't be long and they'll be able to see him more.

See how an earlier bed time goes?