Help help!! 3 months old, a lot of problems

[tracyxin]

Hi, all. I am a new mom and started to read baby whisper since my DS was 3 weeks old. He could only nap 30 min at that time and was a snacker, so friends recommended this book. We started to implement EASY since he was a month old. At the beginning, everything went well. I knew he was OS, so we reduced the amount of stimulation (only talking to him and tummy). His nap time increased to 1 hour. He could be fed every 3 hours, half an hour each time (exactly as the book said. 7, 10, 1, 4, 6, . And during the night, he could sleep 4-5 hours then feed then 2-3 hours then feed then 2-3 hours. We were very happy about the result. The only different things are:
1. I HOLD him to sleep and put him on his crib after he is asleep (I know it is my bad, but our DS will have a big surgery when he is 3.5 months, so I really want to "spoil" him before that)
2. I did not give him DF because he won't eat.

Things started to change from the 6th week:
Eat: At the beginning, he cried when I feed him sometimes (I breastfeed). The cry sounds like he is tired and sleepy, so I put him to sleep. And he would fall asleep. But most of the time, he was fed well. I noticed that he could eat well right after he waked up or when he was sleepy. Things get worse and worse. He could only eat when he is sleepy now. Last week, he refused to eat for 8 hours!! (once I put him on my breast, he CRIED!!) I suspect that he has reflux so I talked to our ped and the ped just said that he could outgrow it, we do not need to do anything about it. It is hard to tell whether he is hungry or not. The only time he could eat well is during the night. So....

Sleep: because of the eating problem, he would wake up several times during the night ask for eating. (Our ped said that babies need certain amount of calories per day, if they cannot get them during the day, they will need it during the night.) BUT now, he would wake up every 1.5 hours during the night!!!! Sometimes I just need to pat him and he will fall asleep again. But most of time, I just feed him (my bad again. I am lazy, nursing to sleep is the easiest way.) Recently he even refused to eat during the night, so I have to walk around to put him back to sleep. (He refuses to use the pacifier) It is exhausting.

Activity: so I started to think whether activity time is proper for him. During his activity time, I will let him see the mobile for 10-20 min. I will talk to him for 10 min or so. Tummy time depends, normally 3 min. The rest of the time includes changing diapers, playing alone. He normally could play 45 min- 1 hour. After waking up for 1 hour, he would cry. Then I pick him up, he will fall asleep in 5 min. Does this mean OT? OS?

The recent days are like a mess. He has no signal for hungry. He is startled easily during sleep. He wakes up every 1.5 hours during the night. There is no 3 hour EASY for him any more and I am both tired and desperate. Please please help!!

His "routine" is like this"
    7am wake up (most of the time, he refuses to eat)
A  7-8
S  8-9
    9am wake up (still, no eating)
A  9-10
    around 10am, he will be both sleepy and hungry. He has no energy to cry. I nurse him and he will fall asleep. (I know this is bad, but I just want him to eat.)
S  10:30 - 11:30
E   11:30-11:50 (He would fall asleep again...)
A   11:50 (diaper change. He could wake up for 10-20 min)
S   12 - 1:30
     1:30 wake up (no eating)
A   1:30-2:30
     2:30 he is sleepy. sometimes he would eat at this time.
S   2:30-3:30
A   3:30-4:30
E   4:30-4:50
S   5:00-6:00
E   6:00-6:20
A   6:20-7:30 (mobile, tummy, bath)
S   7:30-8:30
E    8:30-8:50
Then a tough night.......

This is really a rough time schedule. I have several questions:
1. Since he could only nap for 1 hour. How to implement EASY? It is like:
         E: 10am - 10:20am
         A: 10:20am- 11:00am
         S: 11:00-12:00
         E: 12:00???  or A:12-1?
   He would not eat at this time since he is not hungry. But if he plays an hour he would become both tired and hungry. Then it is Eat-sleep-activity.

2. How to deal with his feeding problem?!?! Is it really reflux?

3. How is his activity time? Is it too much for his age (3 month old)?

4. If he could sleep on his own (not on my arm), can he go back to sleep on his own when he wakes up during the night? If yes, I am thinking using PUPD.

Please help!! Thank you!!

[RachelC]

Firstly, huge {{{{hugs}}}

I think we first have to sort out the feeding and wondering about the reflux.  Have you checked this out?

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=654.0

If you really feel it's reflux, I would push that with your ped.  If left untreated and he is in pain, sleep training will not work.

I think in some ways he has his nights and days flipped, but if it is indeed reflux, that needs to be dealt with first.

Going to call in some more help here as well.  Hang in there!

[amayzie]

Hey tracey! Hugs!! Can I ask what your little man is having the surgery for? It must also be causing you some anxiety!! You are certainly entitled to spoil him until then! It will just help if you start to use some strategies and routines to help you with your days, sleeping and eating.

As RachelC said- the first thing that you really need to get onto is the reflux and the eating. He really isn't going to settle well in the day at all unless he's a) full and satisfied, and b) not in pain! How's his weight going? Are you getting it monitored by a health nurse or dr?

While you are sorting the reflux/eating stuff you can start to look at a basic routine. Just keep as you are trying to feed him as soon as he wakes, or soon after. At least if you TRY to have some A between the feeding and the sleep time. At his age you could look at having him up for around 1.20 or 1.30 or so- before wrapping him, and popping him in the cot. Are you doing a wind down currently?

I would not suggest doing PU/PD- for a couple of reasons. For a start- it's more for babies who are 4 months old and older- and is not recommended for babies with uncontrolled reflux as it can make it worse. Also you need to try other methods first- like sshh pat.

I'll give you a couple of links to read to help with the routine and settling- but again, you are probably best to really get on to your doctor about the eating/reflux- this is a huge issue for babies!!
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64158.msg476652#msg476652

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=212645.0

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65842.0

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0

Hope this helps and isn't too much!!

[Fiver]

Can you think of anything that changed at the 6w mark regarding BF?  When he does feed, does it feel any different?  Have you seen anyone IRL for help with BF?  As things are now, if I was you, I would want to be seeing a lactation consultant/breastfeeding counsellor to have a look at a feed and see if we could come up with some ideas together.

[tracyxin]

Firstly, huge {{{{hugs}}}

I think we first have to sort out the feeding and wondering about the reflux.  Have you checked this out?

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=654.0

If you really feel it's reflux, I would push that with your ped.  If left untreated and he is in pain, sleep training will not work.

I think in some ways he has his nights and days flipped, but if it is indeed reflux, that needs to be dealt with first.

Going to call in some more help here as well.  Hang in there!

First, thank you for your help!!

I checked that link before. That is why I guess he has reflux. Based on that, my DS has the following symptoms:
pain, irritability, constant or sudden crying, "colic"
No

frequent spitting-up or vomiting (large amounts or small amounts – or “silent reflux,” where baby does not spit up at all)
small amounts spitting-up. Sometimes.

vomiting or spitting-up more than one hour after eating
Yes. Spitting-up occasionally.

not outgrowing the spitting-up stage
He is almost 3 months now. Spitting-up gets more recently.

poor sleep habits, frequent waking
YES!!!! YES!!!! ESPECIALLY RECENTLY!!!

pain while lying flat
It seems no. He is pretty happy lying flat.

"wet burp" or "wet hiccup" sounds
sometimes.

recurrent or persistent hiccoughs
sometimes.

chronic dry cough
occasionally.

gassiness: from gulping air while crying and eating too voraciously
kind of, not much.

apnea – voluntarily holding breath while eating or sleeping, air then comes rushing in with an audible wheeze (and if eating, choking and gagging following apnea)
no.

constant eating and drinking (swallowing temporarily relieves the pain)
no.

refusing to feed, arching back, crying on breast or bottle even though hungry
YES!!!!!!!! when he is awake, sometimes he refuses to feed, arches back and cry. Sometimes he will latch on and suck, but when the milk comes and after several suck, he will cry and refuse to latch on again. (One thing I need to mention and I do not know whether this is the reason is that when my milk first comes down, the milk will spray and he will spit my breast out and cry. BUT if he is sleepy or really hungry, he just continues to suck.)

poor weight gain; weight loss; failure to thrive in extreme cases
no. He doubled his weight in the first two months (from 6lb11oz to almost 14lb). This month gained less than 3lb.

swallowing problems, gagging, choking
no

hoarse voice
no

frequent red, sore throat
i do not know

ear infections
no

constantly running nose; sinus infections
no

bad breath, tooth enamel erosion
no

excessive salvation, drooling
no

peculiar neck arching, Sandifer's Syndrome
no

respiratory problems; pneumonia, bronchitis, wheezing, asthma, nighttime cough, apnea, aspiration, noisy or labored breathing (extreme cases)
no

eating disorders (extreme cases) – baby forgets how to eat and needs to be re-taught
no


Can you help me to judge whether he is reflux? Thank you!


And if it is "nights and days flipped" as you mentioned, how to flip it back? Thank you again!!

[RachelC]

Hmmm, not so sure about the reflux 

What is his surgery for?

What is your let-down like?  How do you feel your supply is?  Has he been checked for a tongue tie?
Have you seen a lactation consultant?  It may be easier for someone in real life take a look at what's going on.