Please forgive the cross posting (on naps board too) but I'm at my wits end and need all the advice I can get. I'm getting little rest or time to do anything as LO is not napping well and feeding is emotionally exhausting. I don't know which is the symptom or which is the cause but in a nutshell .... my LO would feed better if he napped better and felt rested and would sleep better if feeding didn't take so long, he had better quality activity time (all taken up by feeding) and didn't start each cycle already OT. He's such a lovely baby who rarely cried and he doesn't seem too distressed by the lack of sleep as it happens (which is why everyone else says 'don't worry about it he obviously doesn't need the sleep'!)/ But come the afternoon when it effects his feeding he gets very upset and can get overwrought with tiredness. I'm beginning to feel housebound as I feed him lying down due to bruising still from his forceps delivery and can no longer rely on having a good hour or so away from the house before the next feed (see below ref. short naps making feeding worse)
BACKGROUND
My 13 week old LO was going 3 hours between feeds up until 10 weeks when he had a growth spurt and doubled his feeds for a bit, then ate 2 hourly, even at night time, for a week.
He's always taken a long time to feed due to wind issues so to get his fill of milk to take him through a cycle usually takes an hour+.
The last couple of weeks he's been feeding for literally minutes during the daytime and then crying when I try to put him back on - 9 times out of 10 he then burps/poos/sicks so I give him some time to settle before trying again.
This happens a couple of times before he eventually manages a decent drink.
At night time approx 1/4/7 wake ups have gone to approx 12.30/3am/4.30/6am and then awake for the new day (I don't think he's getting enough calories in the daytime because of the poor sleeping)
He was generally asleep from about 8pm but now he's waking at 6am I've bought his bedtime earlier. He's so exhausted by then that he's asleep by 7pm now having usually fed every half hour from about 4.30pm.
To help him sleep ...
I read Tracy's sleep interview and for the last 4 days I've shush/patted him back to sleep for the first nap of the day which has meant lying next to him for about 2 hours! - yes my back is killing me! (30 mins sleep by himself, 40 mins sh/pat through sleeping/waking 5 minutes at a time, then finally 30-40 mins deep sleep). Yesterday for example I then fed him and after an hour of trying I accepted he wouldn't drink any more than his collective 10 minutes worth and took him out for a walk presuming he'd just want some food a little earlier). He fell asleep for 30 minutes and as we were out I wasn't able to shush him back to sleep. By the time we walked home again he'd been awake 45 minutes and he ate at the next feed time. He only had a small feed before refusing again but when I put him in his cot he didn't settle and after 15 minutes it was obvious he was hungry. He had another small feed but still didn't sleep and in the end crashed out in a swaddle after being awake 3 hours. He eventually slept for 1hr 45 mins on and off and woke crying with hunger.
I've started dream feeding around 10.30-11pm (he couldn't do it when he was younger) so I'm hoping that will start to help.
So my main concerns/questions are:
- How can I help him relax for sleep when he starts each cycle OT
- How can I help him nap better when he takes so long to feed and ends up EArepeatedly then ES
- How can I get good quality play time with him when A time is all taken up with E
- How can I up his calories in the day to help him go longer at night when he refuses to feed or is too tired to cluster late pm
- Do I or don't I swaddle? (I stopped swaddling him around 9 weeks when he started waking fighting against having his arms in - he likes having his hands up to his face and self settles but is woken by jerky arms so I put him down with them out and tuck them in when he's asleep - he always works them free though).
I'm sorry that's such a ramble but it's all my sleep deprived brain can manage! If anyone has stuck with me this far I'd be most grateful for your shared wisddom.
Many thanks, N
