Desperate but unsure how to even begin! (Help!)

[LittleLizard]

I have read everything I can and have found myself here out of desperation for something to work. I'll give you my info on what we do right now, in hopes that you can give me some info on how to even start this EASY method. It is going to turn everything upside down for a while, so I am really hesitant at the moment, but DESPERATE for something to work.

My LO is 5 months old in 3 days. She is exclusively breastfed and has no schedule/routine whatsoever. She is super high needs - must be carried/worn/nursed for ALL sleep. She eats very often, on demand. I have a low supply, basically only just enough to keep her semi-satisfied, so I am worried about scheduling feeds and reducing my supply. Here is our day, by guesstimate as we don't really have a schedule at all.

10:30ish - Wake
10:45 - Eat in my lap while I eat breakfast
after a little while she usually falls asleep nursing, as this is the only way she will sleep, if I remove the nipple she wakes angrily
12:30ish Wake if asleep, Eat
1:00 Activity - kick n'play mat, jumperoo, errands, flirting/chatting
3:00ish Eat, fall asleep for a little while
4:30 Wake, Eat again
5:00 Activity
6:00 Eat, fall asleep
7:00 Wake if asleep, spend time with Daddy so I can make dinner/shower/prevent insanity
8:00 Get fussy and nurse off and on in my lap until she finally falls asleep until we go to bed, at which point I change her and bring her to bed and she promptly and easily nurses to sleep, waking every few hours to re-attach if she's fallen off the nipple, sometimes to actually eat a bit then go back to sleep.

She falls asleep frequently throughout the day, surely because she is OT all the time. She only has short bursts of time where she is interested in any kind of activity. She is almost constantly chewing/sucking her hands if she is not eating/sleeping. I cannot nurse her to sleep and then get out of bed, she wakes after 30minutes max.

I basically accepted this "routine" (HA!) after battling with her need to nurse all the time to keep up with weight-gain in the beginning and now find that nothing else works to keep us both semi-rested and sane. I am terrified to change anything but she is literally outgrowing my lap and waking often there due to distraction or just jolting awake a lot. I feel a little crazy I would like to ideally have her on a 9am Wake/9pm Bedtime routine to fit around DHs work schedule.

[amayzie]

Ok- so you are clearly really in touch with your LOs needs and it's great that you've been able to have such a close physical bond with her. This is probably a great time to be working to regulate things a little as she will be becoming more interested in the world around- and keener to explore seperate to mummy!

Generally you just want to start with getting the EASY in order. So to start i would wake her up at 9 say and then feed her as soon as she wakes. You know then that she has had enough to eat. After that you want to stretch out her A time so she is tired enough to give you/her a really good sleep. So at 5 months you are aiming for around 2.5 hours A time between naps- give or take . Ifyou aren't up to that much time now you may need to push up the time by 10-15 mintues every couple of days. At 5 months you are looking for her to have 2 longer naps and a cat nap. By 6 months- or around 6 months most babies' A time is up to 3 hours and they are on 2 naps in a day.

A time includes EVERYTHING from eyes open to eyes closed- so it doesn't matter what ou are doing- just sitting, playing, changing nappy, eating- it's all included.

Once you have her up for the longest stretch you can (but not longer than 2.5 hours as she may be too OT then) I would suggest you then start to work- from day one- on teaching independant sleep. I wonder if at the moment she's  waking partly because she is relying on you as a prop. Babies like to go to sleep and have things the same as tey wake from each sleep cycle. This means that if they go to sleep with you rocking them that if they wake up and you aren't they think 'HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON!!' and they need you back to get them to sleep. When they are little it works ok as they aren't as alert and they sleep more soundly- but as they get to 4 months and beyond they are much more alert and they don't transition as easily between cycles.

To begin with you need to be using a good wind down- with some good sleep cues: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=212645.0

You can try initially using shh- pat to teach her to sleep- i've always used this method, but PUPD is also suitable at this age. Your aim is to get her to be settled in the cot rather than on you. To start with this is going to take a while- and she may even skip a nap, or have a short nap- but in not very long (you generally will see big improvements in a number of days- great gains in a week if you are consistent) she will be able to settle much better and have nice long naps independantly.

Here's a thread on PUPD:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=208990.0

and on shh-pat
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26671.0

This says 'under 3 motnhs' - but i'd use the same strategy with a 5 month old- but may not swaddle or wrap.

I try not to worry about the time between feeds- but to focus more on the A time being right and the independant settling. Then just feed her right when she wakes up- NOT when putting her to sleep- even if it hasn't been the full 4 hours. You are aiming for 4 hours between so you know she'll get a good feed in- but that's someting that ill come in time.

Make sense?