My DS is 2.5 yrs old (as of last Thursday) and my DH and I feel like we need to do some adjusting but just not exactly sure what to do. My DS has been on EASY pretty much from the get go. This is more or less what his daily routine looks like:
Wakes: 7:15-7:45am
Naps: 12:45/1 – 2:30/2:45 (I typically wake him from his naps)
Bedtime Routine: Start bath around 7:30 and we attempt to leave his room by 8
Sounds great but things are getting a bit wonky. I had a little girl 8.5 weeks ago and we definitely have seen some sleep regression with her arrival. We had some glimpses of similar behavior beforehand, but much more since she’s been in the world. He would wake at odd hrs (usually after midnight) and be up from anywhere from 1-4 hours and did not want to be alone. And he would be wide awake, wanting the lights on, to be held, to read books, etc. We instituted a reward calendar on his wall and he gets a sticker every night he sleeps through and so far it seems to be producing some good results – 9 nights in row and counting (fingers crossed). There have been some early mornings (around 5am) where I’ll check the monitor after feeding my DD and he’s stirring or in some instances has sat up, maybe called out and then resettled and eventually (after an hour or so) goes back to sleep and then I wake him by 8am no matter what.
Bedtime is the worst. The poor kid is in his bed by 7:45/8 but doesn’t actually get to sleep until 8:45 on a good night and close to 10 on a bad night. This has been going on for a few months (as long as I can remember at this point) and we feel like we’re doing some bad parenting b/c how horrible to be so little and up by yourself in the dark for so long waiting to fall asleep. And after a certain amount of time in there, he doesn’t want to be by himself so he tries everything he can think of to have us in there with him – I want water, I want a hug, I want up, just sit in the chair for a minute, etc. He’s getting quite good at his manipulation techniques, lol. And we invariably always eventually respond or go in – generally multiple times. We’ve talked about drawing a hard line and ignoring it (as he’s smart enough to know we’ll eventually cave in) but he does get all amped up and cries at times. He is a very active little guy and we’ve battled sleep issues from the get go so we figured it’s just taking him longer and longer to turn off the world and go to sleep. I know anytime after 2, kids can start to drop the nap all together. But I don’t think he’s ready for that yet.
We have had some nap refusals here and there but he’s a total train wreck without a nap. And if he doesn't get a nap, we start the bedtime routine around 6:30 and he's out like a light but I can almost guarantee a night wake. We’ve played with naps a bit as far as trying to put him down earlier and capping them at an 1.5hrs – he used to do 2hrs and I would wake him then as well. If he has no nap, he’s a mess come dinner time and then totally uncooperative with bath and the bedtime routine. Even with a nap, he’s been fighting the bedtime routine (which he’s had since 4 weeks old) so I think he’s probably dreading the 1-2 hr awake stent in the dark. He also goes down for a nap really well – we do a wind down, read a few books, I sing some songs and he’s typically asleep within 15-20 mins (from the time we start). Even with bringing the naps in time wise and capping them, I feel like he’s a bit more difficult and cranky come night time.
So, my expert mamas, what to do?
Do we keep the nap and just make it even shorter, like an hour and then bring the bedtime in or keep it as is and see if there is a change? It can’t be “normal” for kids to consistently take 1-2 hours to go to sleep at night, can it?
Any and all advice would be much appreciated!
Thanks!
Daneen
