Hi Everyone,
My son just turned 8 months old.
Multiple times/night, he wakes up and calls for help. We find him sitting up, often looking not fully awake. We lay him down, replace the pacifier and walk away. Most of the time, this is all the intervention needed.
Recently, we sometimes find him standing up.
My main question, of course, is how to eliminate these awakenings (it's often 5/night recently). I know the pacifier is probably a prop for him. However, I appreciate that it works so well. I'm worried that even if I wean him from it he will still wake up when he pushes himself to sitting (I've seen him do this in this sleep) and that it will be harder to get him back to sleep.. In general, how do you address wakings caused by working on milsetones?
Related questions - the pushing to sitting can happen while he is asleep...what about pulling up? Does a kid have to wake up to crawl to the edge of the crib and pull up? His eyes usually do seem open when he's standing...why does he doe this?! What is the best way to deal with it?
Recent twist - for the past two weeks, he has had a cold and cough - trouble breathing, wakes up coughing. In these cases, I think the coughing wakes him up. Sitting up comes afterwards. Does this change how you deal with the sitting?...Also recently, his waking have often come in bursts. He'll lay quietly in this crib for 5-15 minutes, then sit up and cry. When I have "hid" in his room, I can only hear (not see) him, but I have the impression that he is having trouble falling asleep (a bit of tossing, breathing doesn't sound quite right) or at least falling into a deep sleep. Maybe this is just related to the cold?
A few other recent occurrences that probably don’t affect the long-term solution – In the last 2+ weeks, my work schedule has required a slightly earlier wake up, he has gotten his top two teeth, and I have (finally!) dropped his middle-of-the-night feed. In addition, he’s had overfull diapers several times (hasn’t happened for a while) and one night was constipated. (Wow, been busy two weeks!)
Below is other information that I saw requested. Feel free to read, or not
History
Sleep disruptions due to developmental milestones first showed up when he began rolling to his stomach. He would roll onto stomach, not want to be there, but get stuck, because he couldn't roll back. We would go in and flip him to his back (and replace the pacifier if needed). Unfortunately, he never did learn to roll. (Now that he can crawl, he is able to get off his stomach. Its still a "nonstandard way") So, whether for rolling, sitting, or, now standing, we’ve been going in for almost 4 months now…
At various other times when we’ve had more intense crying, we have been doing PU/PD since age 6 months. When picking up, we put him down as soon as he calms. When he fights us, we put him down. After PD and before PU, we try to settle him with “shhhhh” or confident reassuring words. We also put a hand on his chest or back sometimes.
Very recently, when my worked schedule required wake-up time to slide earlier, he started waking up Much earlier (perhaps because of cold, also). He repeatedly settled, then roused himself and began to play. I found that if I rested a hand on him (for quite a while) I could get him to rest and attempt to sleep for a while. I was worried this might turn into a prop, but he seems to have helped. He has started sleeping later again, without waking up. (Or, waking up but going right back to sleep and staying asleep).
Going way back in time, LO slept through the night (8 hours ) from 4-3 months old. At 4 months, everything fell apart (in part, because… we didn’t move his bed time earlier, he started trying to roll in his sleep, we didn’t handle his waking right).
During the summer months (age 4-6 months) he didn’t have a highly regular schedule, for various reasons. However, his sleep improved overall (less crying, not waking quite as often, overall better rested) At 6 months, he started day care. Initially his sleep fell apart utterly because he was overstimulated at day care and took incredibly short naps. Around this time we started PU/PD at home (but not at day care). At this point, he has finally settled into a routine moreso than ever in the past. He usually relaxes and goes to sleep much more quickly at naptime and bedtime now. His naps are beginning to lengthen also, although they are shorted than my goal of 3 hours total during the day.
What’s his/her daily routine?
Wake-up at 6:30 and milk feed…drive to day care, where he has breakfast (around
, 1st nap around 8:45ish…small milk feed and more solids…2nd nap around noon…I pick him up around 1:30…milk feed around 2:30..3rd nap around 3:30ish…dinner around 6, milk feed around 6:45…bed around 7.
What’s nap routine?
At day care, they wrap in a muslin, hold him, sing to him, give him his pacifier. Put him down pretty much asleep.
At home, read 2 books in the glider, give pacifier, sing two songs, hold him (without rocking etc.) until he is asleep, then place him in crib. (Previously, I put him down not quite asleep. However, we hit a point at naps and bedtime where he’d be almost asleep, then force himself awake and begin to play for a long time. When he finally got to sleep 50 minutes later, he wouldn’t sleep as soundly.)
How long are naps?
1st nap: 45 min – 1 hr, 2nd nap 1hr (starting to last 1:30 or longer more often), 3rd nap 45 min – 1hr
Recently, the naps seem to be longer more often…including the 3rd nap, which I’m not sure should be lengthening at this point.
What's bedtime routine?
Wind down walk, mini sponge bath, songs, milk feed. Put to bed asleep.
(See above – used to put him down not-yet-asleep. However, the 50 minutes of playing that later developed seemed like a really bad habit, resulted in more disrupted sleep (probably because he was over-tired) and was really inconvenient for me.
Do you bottle or breastfed??
Breastfed..approx 15 min/feed. I current feed both sides at each feed.
At daycare, 6 oz in main bottle, 3 oz during his “snack” bottle (which was added maybe 6 weeks ago due to concerns about weight gain).
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry?
I’ve never been completely confident I know the mantra cry. However, over time, I’ve grown more comfortable identifying complaining vs. crying. I try to listen for the escalating cry. When I’m unsure, I count to 30 or 60. By the time my son is sitting up (or standing) this has never resulted in calming down. (On the other hand, occasionally I hear a single or brief cry and then silence. I don’t respond. Other times, when he’s been awake but is wearing down, I hear a different type cry, and I don’t respond.
Do they have a lovie?
There is a fleecy blanket-bear that I’ve been giving him to hold while I feed him and in bed. Recently, he is starting to finger things (this, the blanket draped over the side of his bed, the real blanket) and seem to get some comfort from them.
