Ok to let 7 wo sleep until 8 or 9? Also, need advice for the witching hours!

[nossi]

Here's a sample EASY for my 7 wo DD.

E 830
S 915 to 1030

E 1030 ( currently working on trying to stretch to 3 hrs during day- she is BF but is also very big for her age)
S 1130 to 1

E 1
S 2 to 3:15

E 330
S 430 to 545 or 6

E 600
S 6 to 715

 Then from 730 to 1030 she gets very cranky, and might sleep in 20 min intervals (while on my chest or in carrier) and may snack once or twice

E 1030
S 11:15 to 5

E 500
S 530 to 830

So I'm wondering if I'm letting her sleep too late in the morning and if there's any way this is contributing to the witching hours?  Her doctor thinks its just neurological and that she will just get better during the evening as she gets older.  I'd like to keep the later wake up time bc it works with her brothers schedule and works well for our family.

 The other thing I'm working on is extending her naps by just holding her for a other hour if she wakes early.  She really needs 2 hour naps, but often wakes after 45 min or an hour and then doesn't eat well and gets cranky within 20 min of awake time.  Shush pat doesn't work so well for her, as it ends up keeping her awake.  I think she's stimulated by it.  I often only do the shush or the pat bc both together make her little eyes pop open. 

[Ima shel Alon]

If say you want her to keep on waking up at 8 then you aim for a 12h day - 8 till 20 and then 20 becomes BT hour. That way you also allow a 12h night which is what most babies need.
I am not quite sure how you do things now looking at your EASY - when is BT? Is there a BT routine - bath, pj, feed?

She is a bit young for pat/shh, I'd say.
Are you keeping a log? You can have a look after what A you are getting 45min-1h naps, maybe she is ready for 10min more A time?
In a way, your Dr. is right. She is still very very young and sleep is all over the place at this stage. When she will grow older patterns will be clearer and there will be more to deal with, iykwim. At her age we don't even tend to tell people to extend A because their LO is still tiny. I don't want to sound unhelpful, it's just that there are some things that time solves by itself

[nossi]

Thanks.  I'm sort of at a loss because I just can't seem to do anything at all from 7pm until 11:30 at night.  She requires constant holding during that time, which means it's been impossible to take care of my 3 yo DS unless DH is home.  We don't really have a BT because she just keeps waking from 7 to 11:30.  At around 9pm, I put her in PJs and nurse her in the bedroom (every other time I nurse her in the living room).  I do bath time during the day when my DS is at school because it's too hard to bathe her when he's around.  So that's not part of her routine.  Should I have a better BT routine?  Any simple ideas?

I'm basically using every prop there is during those witching hours (holding her until she falls asleep, literally holding the pacifier in her mouth, letting her sleep on my chest, etc).  Should I just wait it out until she's 3 mo instead of trying to push pat/shush and independent sleep?  Others posters suggested that I just AP at this stage and, for example, just let her sleep on my lap while I watch TV instead of trying to get her to sleep in her crib.  But the problem is, I can't even do that now.  She's too stimulated by the noise.  I literally sit in a dark room for 4 hours every single night trying to get her to sleep.  I miss being able to spend time with my DS

I do keep a log.  She tends to have better naps when she's awake for only about 30 - 45 min and also when her 3 yo brother isn't home to wake her up (we live in a small apartment). 

[Ima shel Alon]

(((Hugs))), sweety. It will get better and I can imagine it's very difficult for you right now not spending time with DS.
Have you tried the sling? Would she sleep in that? You could pop her in it at those hours and just do whatever you need to do.
I agree about the AP but I still don't think you should spend 4h trying to get her to sleep or stay asleep. You'll go mad, won't you?
I would have a more clear BT routine. You can, say, put her pj, walk her around the flat and say bye bye to all the rooms, say good night to her big brother, take her to her room, close curtains, feed her in the dark and put her in the crib. Throughout it talk to her with a gentle quiet voice, tell her what you are doing and that it's now her sleepy time. Repeat the exact same thing every night.
It's ok for you to feed her to sleep for this sleep. We can just hope that she will fall asleep on you with this feed and will continue sleeping till her next NF. Somehow it needs to be clear for her that it's BT, that now it's night and time for sleep.
Maybe till now things were a bit confusing for her, she didn't know if it's her A time or S time and probably got OT by not getting a restorative sleep during those hours.

When is your DS BT? Would you be able to put her to sleep after he is in bed that you three can spend this time together? As long as it's not too late for her, of course.