9.5 month old textbook baby and starting EASY

[NellyMama]

We have just completed day 3 of implementing EASY and PU/PD.  Here is our EASY
 
E  6:45 am wake up/BF
A  7 am play with Daddy
E  8 am Solids
A  8:30 am play
S  9:30 am nap, 1.5 hrs
E  11 am wake up/BF
A  11:15 am play
E  Noon solids
A  12:30 pm play
S  2:30 pm nap, 1 hr
E  3:30 pm, wake up/BF
A  3:45 pm play
E  5 pm solids
S  6 pm bedtime routine starts, put in crib by 6:45 pm 

My concern at this point is nap time and if I am doing things the right way.  DD stands in her crib for 60+ minutes before she even tries to fall asleep.  I thought she might need a longer A before the nap, but she is yawning, tugging at her ears, rubbing her eyes and is clearly tired.  For our pre-sleep routine I take her to her room, change her diaper, read a couple books, BF until she is drowsy (about 5 min). If I kept BF, she would be asleep in 2 minutes.  I lay in her in the crib, and she puts her head down right away.  After about 20 seconds, she pops up, and is up for a good hour.  This AM, she cried when I left the room, but was mostly content when I was in the room, so I couldn't do PD.  I tried to model laying down, and patted the mattress.  Ever so often she would fuss (once every 5-10min) and I would PD, and she would lay on her tummy for a minute, but then back up.  Finally, after 1.5 hrs, she started fussing and I was able to PDs (10 or so), and she was asleep within 10 minutes.  I had to wake her after 2 minutes to keep to the schedule.  This afternoon, although exhausted, she never settled long enough to fall asleep for all 1.5 hrs, so we skipped the PM nap.  Again, she cried when I left the room, but was mostly fine when I was in there with her.  Yesterday was the same story, but both nights at BT she went to sleep within 5 minutes with no PDs.  Any thoughts??  Is this normal?  Of note, she seems to be teething right now, so maybe that has something to do with it? 

If this is just part of the process, then I can be patient.  Our nights have improved from 10+ awakenings (with BF back to sleep) to 4 awakenings (hand on the back and asleep within 2 minutes).  I want this to work! 

Thanks in advance for your help!     

[jessmum46]

Hi and welcome

Is the EASY you posted something you are trying to achieve or is it what's actually happening?  If its what you're trying to achieve, you may be struggling because the A times are rather on the low side for her age, especially the first one. At 9 months most are doing somewhere between 3-4h, sometimes a touch more. In order to settle well LO needs to be tired enough, but not too tired. Either way can cause nap resistance and short naps.  Her behaviour sounds UT to me for the first nap, then OT by the second because of the very short or skipped morning nap.

I notice you said you woke her after 2 minutes to keep to the schedule. I suggest actually you don't do this - though I know this is what Tracy describes in her books when starting out at 4 months plus. In my experience this is just going to lead to an extremely OT baby who ends up crashing at bedtime (hence having to do very little in the way of PD). A better approach is to aim for more age-appropriate A times, and then after a few days see if there are any patterns emerging so we can tweak the routine -does that make sense?

How about trying for a minimum 3h A time first thing (she may well need more - if you get the same playing in cot behaviour I'd bump it up to 3h15, then 3h30 fairly quickly) and see how long she sleeps? Then try the same or slightly more A time before the second nap?

So (with 3h):
WU 6.45
Nap 9.45 for 1.5 - 2h ideally
Nap 14.30/15.00 for 1h
BT 7/7.30pm or earlier if naps haven't been good

It's normal at this age to have a day slightly longer than 12h and to have to cap one (not both) of the naps.

HTH for now, please come back to me with any questions

[NellyMama]

Thanks for the response. 

We have increased A to 3.75/4 hrs, and the playing has really cut down.  It only took about 20/25 minutes for the nap this morning, from the time I put her in her crib to sleep.  Progress!  Nights have improved dramatically, although last night she woke up once (great for us!), but it took 1.5 hrs of PD until she settled back to sleep    The 4 nights before this, it took me 1 PD and about 30 seconds before she went back to sleep.   Being my textbook baby, I was mentally preparing for the regression around 5-7 days.  Let's hope it passes quickly!!!  How long does it typically last?

Another question that has come up is how long to keep my hand on her back?  When she finally settles and is laying on her tummy, she is not crying.  I have kept my hand on her back until she closes her eyes, and maybe a minute or two longer.  Am I becoming a prop?  Should I only keep my hand there until she settles, then just stand at the crib until she falls asleep?   

Thanks in advance for your help!

[jessmum46]

Great progress - well done!!!  You've done so well to stick with it this far   Keep going!!

What time did that NW happen?  Was she upset when she woke?  How are her naps going?  Did you want to post the last couple of days routine (what actually happened) to see if there's anything we can adjust?

With keeping a hand on her back you really want to be doing the minimum possible - so I'd probably suggest as soon as she's calm that you try stepping back and giving her the chance to self-settle.  You don't want to go through all this hard work to create another prop!  Standing by the crib is fine at this stage but once she's happy settling with you there, you might want to do a form of gradual withdrawal where you sit progressively further away from the crib until you are outside the room.  When/if you're at that point I can ask around some of the other mods who have been through it to give you some pointers

[NellyMama]

E 6am wakeup/BF
A 6:15 - 715 Hang with Daddy
E 7:30am solids
A 8am play
S 9:45 nap 1.5 hr (plus 30 min to get to sleep)
E 11:45am wakeup/BF, solids at 12:30
A play
S 15:00/15:30 nap ( I wake her by 16:45) although she skips this nap about 1/2 the time
E 17:00 BF/Solids
A low key play
S 18:30 if no PM nap, 19:30 if she took her PM nap

NW was at 2am.  She wasn't too upset when she woke up, but she really wanted me to hold her/rock her, and became increasingly frustrated when I PD.  For the last 45 min, she was on her tummy, not crying, but tossing/turning/settling.  Of note- the last 3 days she has been cutting 4 (maybe 6!) teeth, which is complicating the situation. 

It is easier to put her down for the AM nap, and she sleeps a solid 1.5+ hrs.  The PM nap is a struggle, although she is tired (maybe OT?) and clearly still needs it.

Any advice is welcomed...TIA!

[jessmum46]

Hugs for the teeth - they're awful!!  Always mess everything up....

Lots of us here have found the pm nap a struggle around this age.  It may be that she needs that pm nap slightly later after a good am nap, which probably means you will need to cap it to stop the day getting too long.  I also wonder if you perhaps started putting her down a bit later for her am nap that she might settle a bit quicker?  The fact that she does a good nap for you even after 30 mins PUPD suggests to me she is UT when you first try for the nap.

How about trying:
WU 6am
Nap 10/10.15-11.30/45
Nap 3.30-4.30
BT 7ish?

I'd try and keep your day to a 13h max if you can otherwise OT builds up quite quickly - if you find with an hour's pm nap the day is too long, then you may need to cap to 45 mins and reduce the following A time a little too

[NellyMama]

Thank you for the response...we will try the new schedule.  We are still in the "regression" phase, but the teething is probably the root of it all.  2 have made their way out, and 2 more look like they will break through any day.  Trying to hold the course as much as possible...ugh!

[jessmum46]

See how you go and will look forward to an update