Want to start EASY but 45min naps causing problems!

[vmarsh82]

Hi

I have a 3 1/2mth old little boy. He was 6 weeks prem.

Am a single mum and recently worked out he is intolerant to wheat, dairy and soya. This has meant a big reduction in crankiness as gis symptoms have gotten better.

But as rocking to sleep, walking, using the sling were the only things that worked when he was unwell I think these have now become props. So I turned to the BW book for help.

We did shh/pat last night and he had a 30min nap in bed - first ever without rocking or being held to sleep. And going to bed for the evening he was down in 12mins once placed in the cot and NW at 0030 for a bf.

Today

WU - 7am
E- 730
A
S-0830-0920 woke after 30mins and remainder in arms aslee
E 10am
A
S 1030-1115 - attempted shh pat for 10mins, then rocked in arms but wouldnt go back to sleep


Now I'm not sure where to start? focus on lengthing naps? He will sleep for up to 2hrs in the sling. Try and stick with a 3hr EASY? I'm just getting in a muddle as he definitely seems to be getting OT if I leave him more than an hr before WD. But being a single mum its entirely possible i'm missing something somebody else would spot.

Any help much appreciated. We've had a big improvement with removing the food from my diet (from 10 NW to 3-4) but would like to get a handle on his sleep in general and set up EASY as his dad doesnt follow any routine with him and poor baby is often in meltdown by the time I get him back.

Many thanks

xx

[Papaya]

Hi welcome to the boards

I think that first A time was probably a bit long for him and he was already OT when he went to sleep - hence the 30 min nap. If he was prem, he might not be able to do the "average" A times for his age. Adjusted age he's only about eight weeks, right? So I think try an A time of closer to 1hr10/15 or so - remember, A time is everything from eyes open to eyes closed, so includes any settling time. If the first nap is long, 1.5 hours or more, try the same A again or perhaps sliiightly longer (a lot of LOs like their first A the shortest) - but if it's short, he might not be able to do as long an A time without getting OT.

Are there any signs of discomfort still? If there are, that may of course be affecting nap length, even if he's settling ok.

I'd try for the first nap or two per day in the cot, but if you get a few short naps, I wouldn't be worried about APing an afternoon nap in the sling so he's not OT at bedtime.

What do you think?

You might also be interested in this support thread
Re: Dear Diary - support thread for reflux/MSPI/food intolerance mummies - Part 8

[vmarsh82]

Ok, I had been counting A from WU to when I started to WD - so at some times A could be up to 90mins.  Which would be too long. I think he would be about 9wo if he arrived on time.

He's not 100% sorted with his tummy - had a complete outfit change a minute ago! And I've also spotted a slightly red cheek over the past 24hrs so I guess that doesnt help either.

For naps - how do I try to lengthen? And what counts as a nap total i.e. how long can he be awake for in the middle and it still be useful to try and get him back down?

Apologies for what may be obvious questions!!

[Aishi]

Hi

Here is a link on extending naps

How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)

I would give it 20 mins to resettle you'll know by then whether its going to work or not. Just remember to keep next a time shorter if nap is short.

Hth!

[vmarsh82]

Perfect. Thank you!

If those techniques don't work use your normal settling techniques for up to 20mins?

Am I best aiming to extend the morning naps first and employ old strategies (sling, car, pram) for later naps in the day? Or stick with putting him down in his cot for all of them?

And swaddling is working well I think. So swaddle in the day too? Most people ive spoken to dont but it does seem to help relax him

Last question! Once we get a grip on naps should a 3hr EASY start to appear on its own? Or will trying to put that in place be the next step?!

Thanks in advance!!

[Aishi]

Yes I would do whatever works to resettle if lo wakes. those techniques are to stop lo from waking in first place you do need to be consistent with them too to see results

Yes I would work on first nap of day and do whatever needed for others nap. If your first nap is good you could try that a time for second nap too or slightly lmore (most Los prefer a shorter a for the first a time than the rest of the day) but yes definitely concentrate on first nap for a few days.

I would swaddle for day sleeps too there's nothing wrong with it. In fact that it would help set the scene for sleep times.

If you stick to an EAS as closely as possible I think it will fall into place with naps sorted. Having said that it does depend on lo. My dd is 10month an poor feeder (milk) so we have smaller more frequent feeds so its more like EAES so it jut depends what works for your lo just remember not to feed to sleep

Hth

[vmarsh82]

Thank you for all the guidance!

This morning:

GU 0715
E 0745
S 0838

This was after about 40mins of shh/pat

He was swaddled so was peaceful during this time. He would begin to drift off but before falling asleep wake back up again.

Could my plan of 45min A, then 15min shh/pat mean he was UT?

I have been able to extend naps today by holding him in my arms then after about 6mins of crying he will drop off again. He seems to go 30-40mins before needing to wake. Shall I continue this to help him start to sleep through?

His current nap was 1hr50 A as we were out, but only 6min to drop off. One wake at 30mins in and resettled after crying and we're onto another 60mins with no waking an he's still going

So, what A times should we aim for?!? And is my resettling strategy ok? Or should I stick with shh pat for  resettling as well as going to sleep?

[Aishi]

Is my baby ready to increase his ‘A’ time? (incl. 'A' times for younger babies)

Average a times are 1h20-30 min at this age so yes UT! These times are from eyes open to eyes shut and include wd and settling time to sleep for lo so I would use this guideline to gauge best a time for lo as you know your lo best if you get a 30 min nap then lo was OT and if its 45min then UT. You need to hold a time for few days to see a pattern tho...

I would try settling sleeps in cot so u don't become a prop...but whilst your working on figuring out that fort time it's on to settle other naps to prevent OT accumulating.

Give it a go for a few days and post back to let us know how you're getting on...

[vmarsh82]

Hi all

I am really struggling with all of this at the moment. I haven't been able to establish any form of EASY routine that fits with his age. He still starts to lose the plot if he's awake for more than 1hr15 and I can't get him to nap more than 40mins without me sleeping with him.

I could really do with some help to problem solve how I might be accidentally parenting or making things more difficult for myself/him. Being a single parent I am finding it hard to stick to one plan through the ups and the downs so am hoping by speaking to people on here we can form a sensible approach to this and I can commit to making it work.

A very desperate mummy

x

[Aishi]

Hugs hon sorry youre still having problems.

How old is lo now and can u post EAS as best as u can? Is he an independant sleeper?

And are you getting support on the Health board papaya suggested? Re: Dear Diary - support thread for reflux/MSPI/food intolerance mummies - Part 8

If its discomfort related no amount of routine tweaking will fix things...

[vmarsh82]

Thanks for replying!

I think we are on top of most of the digestive problems now, his sleep does get worse depending on what I eat (as he is exclusively bf) but he still has sleep issues regardless.

Hes 21 weeks now (just before 5mths) but was 6 weeks prem.

We've not had a firm EASY in place, as I feel as if we've been so limited by his 60mins A time then having to head to bed ASAP after that. But will make a note of how things go tomorrow and post up.

Independent sleep - no, on occasion he will be put down relaxed in his crib, swaddled and fall asleep on his own but this is once or twice a week max. He tends to scream before sleeping (this always happens, but just varies in the length depending on tiredness) and needs to be helped to relax before he will sleep. Once relaxed he typically never screams again. The failsafe strategy has become holding him with his face buried in the crook of my arm until he stops screaming. I can then attempt to transfer him to the crib.

My main preference would be to be able to increase his A time so I can attempt to leave the house. But I guess part of the problem is will be to extend his naps. With his A time he just becomes crankier and crankier and atm will only settle if held. So its just a high need baby atm for a single mum to deal with!

Thanks

[Aishi]

So his adjusted age is 15 weeks? That would be average a time of 1h45-2h and your on 1hr? Is that right? How long is that first nap? Is he happy waking from it?

The first thing I would suggest is that you need to increase his first a time to get a longer nap. I know you say he seems tired but at this age tired cues can be bored cues and his body clock prob expects to sleep at his time so he's tired at that time. You need to push through this stage and increase a times but I would do it in 5-10 min increment to ease him through it.

If you have a look at the links papaya and I posted earlier there is advice re getting lo to settle using ssh pat and average a times at this age (adjusted for your lo tho as he was prem)

Try the increase for a few days at 1h10 min and hold if you get a short nap keep next a short eg 1h to prevent OT. If you're still getting a short first nap after 3 days increase a time by another 10 min. You need to be pushing towards 1h45-2h at. I'm afraid that's as much help as I can be for now....

Hth?! x

[Papaya]

How are things going, hun?