Nearly 3 year old terrible sleeper, help!!

[1tamara1]

Our nearly 3 year old DD was a great sleeper when she was a newborn, then my son came long 11 months ago and things changed...dramatically. She went to waking during the night, taking forever to go to sleep and needing us to stay downstairs with her until she went to sleep which means some nights I would hardly see my husband.

Now obviously over the transition of a new brother and we're pretty much at the end of out tether, tonight she took two hours to go to sleep and am wondering if anyone has any ideas of what to do. I am not sure if she is napping for two long, have tried cutting it down and moving it to no avail. This morning she had a very early waking at 5.20am so i dare say the long bedtime was overtiredness.

Our day looks like this:
-wake up: 6am
-nap: 1.30-2.20
Bed 7pm doesnt fall asleep for an hour and a half

we have wakings at various times, she is wide awake so I am wondering if its the day time nap? She has had a couple of days where she has missed a nap if we've been out and she jst hasnt coped, so I am not sure if thats the answer or if we then put her to bed really early at night after a no nap?

Sorry if I'm babbling, we've just had enough of it all, she was easier when she was a baby!!

thanks for reading and for your help x

[barbaraz78]

HUGS! I think she must be OT now, with such short nights and multiple nw... I wouldn't take out the nap when she's so OT, I would actually try to increase it a little to see if she can recover OTness and sleep better at night. Also, a 7.5 h morning A with such a short night (less than 10 h, if she goes to sleep at 8.30 and wakes at 6) is probably too long. Could you try to let her napping earlier?
Also, is she an independent sleeper?

[1tamara1]

Thank you for your reply. She was a lot happier today with a good sleep last night and in bed earlier than last night. We have tried bringing the nap earlier but it is really hard again she ends up lying in bed, when i put her down at 1.20 I have no problems whatsoever.

In regards to the independent sleep, well I'm not sure to tell you the truth, she needs to know that her dad is in the room next to her to get to sleep, if he came upstairs straight away she screams an wakes up our 11 month old. But we don't need to be in the room. Could this be causing the problems? We would love to change the fact that one of us has to stay down there for an hour but we're not sure how to tackle it? X

[barbaraz78]

Rereading your first post, I notice that while the first A is quite long (7.5 h), the second one is quite short (4h 40 mins), so this could well be the reason of resisting bt. My DS also prefers long morning A and short afternoon A, but still the second has to be at least 5.5-6 h (morning A is 6.5-7 h, followed by 1 h nap). The fact that she doesn't go down earlier might mean OT... but can also be a 1-0 effect. I would try to increase the afternoon A at least of 1h, either programming an earlier nap or waking her up earlier (although when she's severely OT it can be difficult to decrease the nap).
So, I would aim to:
6 am wu
12.30- 13.30 nap
7 pm bt

About independent sleeping: how does she know that DH is in the other room and not downstairs if she doesn't see him

[anna*]

In regards to the independent sleep, well I'm not sure to tell you the truth, she needs to know that her dad is in the room next to her to get to sleep, if he came upstairs straight away she screams an wakes up our 11 month old. But we don't need to be in the room. Could this be causing the problems? We would love to change the fact that one of us has to stay down there for an hour but we're not sure how to tackle it? X

You are getting great advice from Barbara

This part is confusing though. So DH is nearby but not in her room? How does she know if he is near or not? It does sound like a prop...