How to get 15 mo back on track.

[tiredmainemom]

Hi,

So I have a 15 mo dd who was sleeping through the night like a champ from 9 mo on.  Until we suffered the perfect storm of sleep disasters the beginning of November.  She cut her first molars, had a 5 day fever, developed separation anxiety and then had a head cold and couldn't breath.  This all happened very shortly after transitioning to one nap.  Then we left for the holidays and were traveling for 2 weeks which is no time to tackle sleep problems.   

So, two months later she now wakes at least twice a night, up to 5 times.  The first waking is usually at 11.  She'll take a bottle and go back down.  Then the second wake up is anywhere between 3-4.  This time she is usually awake for an hour, takes 8oz or more and needs lots of reassuring to get back to sleep.

We definitely engaged in some serious AP during the last two months - at first because she was seriously sick/teething.  But then we were traveling and willing to do anything to get her to sleep.  The bottle is the only thing that comforted her, it became our prop.  Other than the middle of the night tho, we don't use it to help her sleep.  She goes to sleep for naps and initially at night without a bottle.

The good news - naps are still fine.  She goes down awake, and usually sleeps form 1.5-3 hours depending.  The worse her nighttime sleep, the longer her nap.  But we don't let it go over 3 hours.

So, the usual day:

630 - Wake and a bottle
730 - Breakfast
1130 - Lunch
12/1230 - Nap
230/3 - Wake and a snack
6 - Dinner
7 - Bedtime routine
745 - Asleep

Then we are usually seeing her twice in the night.

She went through sleep training at 4 mo (it was a miracle).  She knows how to put herself asleep.  She just doesn't want to anymore.

My questions - she is definitely reliant on the bottles.  I am very hesitant to cut them out cold turkey.  Based on the amount of milk she drinks at night, she appears to be hungry. 
So, do I go back to what we did to get rid of her night feedings a long time ago.  Start to slowly lesson the amount she's getting gradually?  Can I go a little faster since she's eating solids and this hasn't been going on too long? 

I have not tried wi/wo.  Staying in the room does not help - so trying to lay her down and comfort her just agitates her now because she wants me to pick her up.  So as I start to lesson the amount she's getting - do I use wi/wo until she puts herself to sleep without more bottle?

Thank you so much for any suggestions.  The 4 months she slept 12 hours through the night seems like a dream - we would love to return to that.

[*Becky*]

In all honesty I would go cold turkey with the bottles but if you don't want to do that then yes I would reduce the amount...you can go as fast as you are comfortable with as at this age she really should not need to eat at night. Just make sure she is eating 3 meals a day plus snack and her milk.
If she has been an independent sleeper I would use WIWO. Feel free to ask any questions, i have used WIWO with both my lo's...
Hope that helps. x

[tiredmainemom]

Hi,

Thanks so much for responding!  So I just felt her bottom molars poking through this morning, which explains a lot of the night problems, but I also know they're more than just teething.

So I don't think I can try WI/WO yet.  But, once her teeth are through I think we'll be heading that direction.  I have a few questions about WI/WO.   I read the FAQ description of WI/WO but I haven't been able to find much other clarification.  If I have missed a good post I apologize and please point me in the right direction.  Otherwise - my understanding is that it's like pu/pd except you don't pick the LO up, you just walk in and reassure her and then leave.  My questions:

Once you walk in, do you wait until she calms down before you leave or do you just walk in, reassure her, and then leave.  Wait a few minutes, do back in, reassure and leave.  Rinse, repeat until she calms down and/or falls asleep?

Or when you walk in, do you try to calm her down completely before you leave again?  Do you even pick up your LO?  Do you physically reassure her in any way?

I imagine it's like PU/PD in that you sort of figure it out as you go and what works for your LO.

Thanks so much for your help. 

[*Becky*]

Otherwise - my understanding is that it's like pu/pd except you don't pick the LO up, you just walk in and reassure her and then leave

yes.

Once you walk in, do you wait until she calms down before you leave or do you just walk in, reassure her, and then leave.  Wait a few minutes, do back in, reassure and leave.  Rinse, repeat until she calms down and/or falls asleep?

Yes. I usually PD and then leave the room. I then listen to the cry and go back in only if she needs me, not if she is mantra crying or just messing about. I then go in, replace her muslin and leave. I don't wait for her to calm, I just go out.

I don't pick her up but if she is getting very worked up then I will stay a little longer and maybe stroke her head before I leave.

Does that help?

[*Becky*]

the important thing with WIWO is to listen to the cry. WIWO is not time based i.e. you do not wait outside for a set time (this would be CC which BW does not condone) With WIWO you listen to the cry and then act based on what you hear.

[tiredmainemom]

OK.  So last night was the first night and it was hard, but after doing pu/pd and having it work so well I can now see how wi/wo will work too.

She has been really whiny when I put her down at night.  We have a good routine, bath and reading and some gentle rocking and singing then in the crib awake.  Last night she only whined for 3 minutes though.  I didn't go in because it never escalated beyond mantra.

The she woke up less than an hour later at 840 (she finally fell asleep the first time at 745).  But it really just sounded like mantra.  It escalated for a minute, and I was weighing whether to go in or not - because I knew going in would escalate everything and the wake up would last longer.  But before I could decide, she calmed down and after 15 minutes put herself back to sleep.

At midnight she was much more demanding, but it was my DH's turn (poor guy).  So he did wi/wo for about 50 minutes and then she went to sleep.  It was tough at first, for the first 10 minutes she screamed, she was angry.  But then she would calm down when he went in.  He was going in, laying her down if she was standing and telling her daddy loved it but it was time to go to sleep.  Finally he left and she stayed down and fell alseep. 

She woke again at 5 am, but again it was only mantra crying so I never went it - she went back to sleep after 15 mins and then slept until 8 am. 

It wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting and I feel like I can see the light and soon we'll have our dd who sleeps thru the night back.

I just want to double check - when she cries, but it's mantra - don't go in, even if it's for 10-15-20 mins?  It seemed to work last night.

Fingers crossed, from what I have read it sounds like night 2 is worse.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Thanks so much

[*Becky*]

sounds like you did really well

I will check with my fellow mods about the mantra cry thing. I personally would go in if it had been going on for as long as 15 mins but I may be wrong! Will get back to you x