Still crying hard at nap times (plus short naps)

[MeAndMyTouchyBaby]

Hi,

me and my DD, who is 16 weeks today, are practicing EASY for the last week or so. I have finally managed to put her on 3hrs feeding cycle - big victory since previously I was BF on demand which was practically all the time. Since she had very low birth weight and we were scared that she does not gain enough I went with it. Then I found out that I'm a human dummy and changed it. My plan is now to have E times at: 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 5.30 pm (clusterfeed), 7pm. At night she wakes up for feeding usually at 2am.

So this was a bit of a background, here comes my problem. She strongly refuses naps - and shows it with crying hard and long. She was used to sleep in a stroller or while I was nursing her so this is a new way for her. I understand resistance, but this is getting really crazy. When I start WD, she freaks out, starts to cry instead of calming down. When I put her in her crib, it gets even harder and so on. I have managed to get her to sleep with shhh/pat now a few times, but sometimes after more than one hour crying. Lately it gets to 25 minutes of crying. I don't know what to do since I feel that it should already get better and less stressful for her (and me). Even when I do manage to get her down, I shh/pat for 20 minutes after she falls asleep since she starts waking up otherwise. Despite that she wakes up after 30 - 50 minutes, me being unable to resettle.

Maybe just a note that at night she goes down easily - we take a bath, I BF her and top it up with a bottle. I burp her, kiss her good night and put her very awake in her cot. Sometimes she goes to sleep right away, sometimes it can take up to 30 minutes of her talking ets (like today), but I do not go back in unless she is crying. If she is crying, I give her another kiss, stroke her for 5 secundes and leave.

This post is getting pretty long, sorry! I just wanted to post today's and yesterday's routine (one day I was mostly at home and the second day we went out). I would appreciate help&comment.

Yesterday:
6.30 she wakes up, I put her out of the crib and change her nappy
E: 7.00
A: 7.30
S: 8.30 (wd), 8.45 asleep, only 5 minute crying
9.25 wakes up, I was not able to get her back to sleep
E: 10.00
A: 10.30
S: 11.25 (wd), 11.45 asleep (there was 15 minute hard cry before sleep)
11.55 she wakes up, I shh/pat her back to sleep
12.25 wakes up, I can not get her back to sleep
E: 1pm
A: 1.30 pm
S: 2.30 pm (I take her out in a stroller as you suggested. Funny thing is that she immediately went to sleep but woke up after 15 minutes. She was then awake in a stroller for 30 minutes and after that she has fallen back to sleep). She woke up at 4.10
E:4.15 pm
A: 4.45 pm (during this time she was fussing a lot)
E: 6pm (cluster feeding before bath)
A: 6.20 pm (bath)
E: 7.00 pm (BF + bottle)
S: 7.30 pm

Today:
E: 7.00 as she wakes up
A: 7.25
S: 8.45 (in the car, since we went to mummy&me class)
E: 10.00 as she wakes up
A: 10.25 (class)
S: 11.30 (in a car and stroller on the way back form the class)
E: 1pm (as she wakes up)
S: 2.35 start to wind down (close the curtains, put her sleeping bag on, read a book, sing a song)
2.45 in her crib / crying hard at first, so I shh/pat. After that she calms down, but does not go to sleep / I let her stay in the crib while calm/
3pm - hard crying starts again, I start to shhh/pat again
3.10 - gets to sleep, wakes up every minute, so I keep shh/patting
3.30 - I go into her room and press her down to go trough jolts
3.40 - wakes up, was not able to resettle her
E: 4 pm
A: 4.20 (fussing)
E: 5.30 (cluster feeding, but was more interested in sleeping on me than eating)
6.20: bath
6.50: feeding
S: 7.30

Regarding yesterday's routine I have a few questions: Was I spacing my naps ok? With such short naps and shortened A times, should I do 5 naps a day?! Basically putting her to nap all day - it seems a lot of crying for one day. Is it ok to do at least one nap in a stroller so she at least gets one good nap? Or should I stay home for a week and be really consistent?

Regarding today: Did I put her to her third nap (in the cot) too soon? Should I also try for fourth nap after that?

I might just add that I truly think she does not have reflux since I often put her to lay on a flat surface and she is perfectly happy to play there for longer period of time.

So, I would really love to get her naps in order since she is unbeliveably fussy when she does not get enough sleep - cries and cries.

I hope this post made any sense. In advance - thank you so so so much.

[Papaya]

What A time are you generally aiming for? The average for this age is around 1hr45 - 2hrs (including wind down and settling time) so you may need to be starting your wind down a little earlier. If you do get a 40 min nap, you may then need to reduce the next A time to avoid an OT nap - so more like 1hr30hr - 1hr45 A. 

I think if you have a consistent crib routine for most naps, then it can actually be a good thing if LO is used to having some naps in the stroller, carseat etc so you have some flexibility!

[MeAndMyTouchyBaby]

I guess I'm aiming for about 1.45 to 1.50 A time, but my problem is that I never know how much times will take for her to get to nap - could be 10 minutes, could be 40 minutes ... I guess I will try to start WD at 1.35 and see how it goes. Do u think this is too soon? Her cues are a bit confusing for me - she rarely yawns and when she starts to rub her eyes she is already very OT.

I have another question regarding shh/pat. If she lies in her crib awake but happy not crying - do I let her try to sleep or her own or do I shhh/pat?

Thanks a lot for all the help

[Papaya]

If you're aiming for 1hr45 A, wind down around 1hr35 sounds fine. If she's taking ages to settle it could be that that's already a bit too late...or that she's UT then but plays around so long she ends up OT...but stick with that for 3-4 days and see how you go.

If she lies in her crib awake but happy not crying - do I let her try to sleep or her own or do I shhh/pat?

I'd leave her to it. Do you mean at the start of the nap, or if she wakes early? If she's happily in her crib for quite a while but not settling, it could be a sign of UT.

[MeAndMyTouchyBaby]

Great, I will stick to 1.35 hrs for a while.

I meant at the beginning of the nap - so it might be UT. I will be careful about that. Wake up is usually cranky&tears. At the moment I'm combining stroller and crib. I noticed that even in a stroller she sometimes wakes up with a cry but resettles very quickly if the stroller is moving. I guess she must develop to do the same in the crib?

I will practice patience

[Papaya]

Some LOs do tend to be a bit cranky when they wake, even after a good nap - they just need a few mins to come round   Yes, she should learn how to get through those transitions in the crib eventually - it'll be easier for her if she's not OT, but it is a skill that most LOs struggle with at this age. They usually get it by 5/6 months.

[MeAndMyTouchyBaby]

Great! Will report on the progress in a couple of months - time travels with the speed of light with babies anyways Thanks

[Papaya]