Fixing our OT cycle.... then what?!?!?!?

[ecb01js]

Hi everyone,

This is the first time I have posted - I have usually found a thread that helps me fix whatever issue I have had - thank you everyone!

A bit of background, my daughter is 15.5 months, an excellent sleeper since very early on, dropped to one nap at 13months after weeks of refusing one or other of naps, despite offering in a variety of ways different times etc - in the end we just switched her to one as the poor mite didnt know what her day was going to be like - depended on what mum had read on the forum the night before!!!

One nap was going really well, then perfect storm of 4 teeth inside one very painful week, sickness bug, then cold and then cutting 2 molars. Phew.

With that out of the way, taking us up to about 5 weeks ago, she began shoretning her nap herself to 1.30hr and worse, waking for 2hrs plus each night, anytime between 1-4, she didnt need or want me (she has never liked being cuddled- this took a of of getting over for me!), not hungry, hot cold etc, wasn't SA as we have had bouts of that in the past so knew it was different and I know everyone will at this point be screaming "SHE'S OVERTIRED YOU FOOL" but through the haze of my own crippling tiredness (did I mention I'm pregnant) I couldnt see the glaringly obvious.

ANywho, I came to my senses about a week ago and she has been consistenly having an early bedtime 6, 5, 5.30 now for 4 nights and she is back to sleeping 12/13 hrs wih little or no fuss, goes down great, up once last night when her dad came in from a very late shift- he thinks he is quiet, bless him. 
Today has been a bit odd even by catching up with sleep standards. She was up at 5.30 (12hrs sleep) and NEEDED a nap at 8.30. I woke her at 9.30 so we could go swimming as planned. She was exhausted again after lunch and was back in bed by 12.20 sleeping soundly.

All of this makes me realise how shattered she was for those weeks and I feel terrible for that but I take comfort in that I realised the problem (eventually!) and am trying to solve it.

MY issue is that I am not sure how to recognise if she has caught up her sleep and then what to do re routine!

I see frequently advised that if they have a 2hr nap (still havent managed this) then to aim for a 13hr day and 12/12.5 on a nap of 1.5hr.

I am currently putting her down 4hrs after she wakes from her nap - often not 12 hrs recommended, if she has had an early nap, from an early start.
E.G
wake 6
nap 11-1
bed 5-5.15

Do i plough on with her OT before her nap an assume she will have a short nap then do 4hrs before bed?
theoretical wake 5.30, nap 12-2, bed 6? Pushing to eventual nap 1-3 (regardless of wake up) and bed at 7?


I realise I have waffled somewhat but my key questions are...

How will I know OT is fixed?

Shoul I keep 4 hrs til bedtime indefinitely whilst pushing nap back towards 1?

How quickly should I make these changes? I understand OT builds up over time so how will I know what has tipped the balance back to OT?



hmmmmm, it's a tricky old business this.


Thank you so much for reading, even more thanks if you can reply!

xxxxxx

[Mattsmummy]

just bumping you up...
x

[ecb01js]

Thanks!

x

[ecb01js]

ok so yesterday

wake 5.30 (after 12hrs sleep)
nap 8.45-9.30 woke her
nap 12.20-3.10 she woke herself
bed 7.10


today woke 6 am (11hrs)
nap 11 (chatted in a quiet, not wired way) slept 11.30- 12.40

What am I doing?

I have no clue what to do with her anymore. was today's nap UT because of all the lovely sleeping yesterday? I though short naps were OT?

I feel like I'm effing up her days :-(

[*Becky*]

I think she may be getting too much day sleep now tbh. If it were me I would try 1 nap again.
I would do the nap 4.5-5 hours after wake up. Let her nap up to 3 hours and then BT 5 hours after wake up OR if she short naps then an EBT.
See how it goes for a minimum of 4-5 days. What do you think?

[ecb01js]

Thank you for your reply.

Yes she probably did sleep too long on that day, I though she was catching up with her OT but misjudged that too! A familiar theme!

Yes that sounds like a good plan- my only worry being if she wakes 6, naps 10.30 until 12, can I really put her to bed at 4pm?
Is this an ok thing to do? I'm sure it would be the right thing, but it would feel soooooo wrong!
I have never been successful in squeaking even a ten minute catnap in the afternoon, so would my only real option be a, gulp, 4pm bedtime?

Thank you for your help, so, so grateful. I just need some help getting back on track, been muddling along for a while now 

[*Becky*]

I would probably go for an 11am nap if she wakes at 6am and then see. If she naps until 1pm then do a 6pm BT and if it is less then maybe go for 5/5.30pm. I don't think I could go for 4pm unless they were REALLY OT!

[ecb01js]

Hi,
I took your advice for a few days (kept off the forum during that time so I wasnt tempted to try something at the same time ) and we did have a couple of days of 6.30 wake, nap at 12, bed at 7. Then she got a chest infection and routine was a bit off but let it slide due to her illness (naps around 3 1/2 hrs bedtime varying slightly)

She has been well again for past five days- however we have now started with early wakings between 5 and 5.20.

wake 5-5.20   (i don't go in until 6.45, she is singing not distressed)
sleep 12-1.30
bed 6.30

My gut feeling is that she has forgottenm how to settle herself back down when she wakes from light sleep around 5- when she was waking for a couple of hours in the night, she would settle back down at 4/5am and sleep til half six ish and I went in. I think she might be waking at five and expecting me to go in like I did half six.
 I am not convinced she has had enough sleep at 5am but I am often wrong- my instincts are not to be trusted!

I have tried acouple of early nights for the past two nights but she is refusing them, I am putting her down four hours after her nap as I did when she was OT but sheis messing for 45minutes so she is nearer 5hrs till bed.

DO you think I should just ignore her EW and rty to encouage her to put herself back to sleep?

Maybe I should stick with early nights?

Should I increase time before her nap (and have one horrible really OT day) to try and lengthen the day so if she has had enoughsleep it can be later? ie bed at half seven sleep 11hrs til 6.30?

That last idea sounds rubbish written down now that I've thought about it but Im just not sure what to try!!!

Hopefully you may have a suggestion??!

Thanks xxxx

[Buttonbobs]

That day looks pretty good really, other than the fact it is starting very early for you. How long have you been on one nap? If I'm right in reading you have done a couple of two nap days recently, it might be worth trying a two nap day with a long day o bing BT a bit later and keeping fx for a good night which will re-set you to a later WU (hopefully).

The risk with this strategy is that you are increasing day sleep (even if only for one day) and if she is more wakeful at night following the good day of sleep she might end up more OT. I suggest it though as it did work for us a couple of times. My DD is angel/textbook temperament so she can cope reasonably well with OT. What do you think?