6 month old with multiple issues...please help us!

[Mom2Sam7312]

I have gotten help here before so I'm hoping someone will have some good advice. This may be a long post because as the title indicates, I believe there are multiple issues here. This is one of those times you wish you could call the baby whisperer!

So first, a brief history. We started EASY when my LO was about 5 weeks old. He took to it immediately and it went very well. We used shh/pat to get him to sleep, and that worked too. For the most part, he is a textbook baby. So around 9 weeks he started to sleep through the night (for at least 6 hours), not every night, but at least a few times a week. That lasted until he was about 4 months, and then it seemed like it all went to hell. Suddenly, naps became shorter, he woke more during the night...woke up early in the morning. We finally got him to transition to 4 hour EASY...and I am now getting at least one good nap during the day. Lately he won't take the catnap, which I believe I read is normal for his age.

But problem #1 is, he falls asleep during his last feeding. Okay.
Problem #2 is, he started to wake up for the dream feed, like he's expecting it, so he just wakes up. hmm.
Problem #3 is, he wakes up all the time in the night. He has never really slept through the night consistently, and we always would go in and give him a paci, and shh/pat. Well, so I read the BW book again and found we should try PU/PD. So we started that this week, on Sunday night. 4 nights later, he is not waking up to feed at 2 a.m. anymore, but he is still waking up vERY frequently. He wakes up a lot when he is getting "settled" after we put him to bed...then he sleeps for a little while...always has one waking between 1-3 a.m. and then sometimes wakes up early. 9 times out of ten he will go right back to sleep if we give him the paci and put a hand on his back or chest, or help him roll to his side. We usually don't even have to pick him up because he stops crying as soon as we go in his room.

Here is how his day went yesterday...pretty typical.
7:15 woke up and played in crib
7:50 E-Breast
8:10 A
9:00 E (solids)
10:15 S
11:45 E (breast)
12:15 A
1:00 E (solids)
2:15 S
2:50 woke up from nap...still looked exhausted...tried for 30 minutes to get him back to sleep then gave up
3:30 A
4:00 E (breast) (Then I leave for grad school and my DH is in charge...)
4:50 tried to get him to take cat nap, wouldn't go to sleep
6:00 E (solids)
6:15 A including bath
7:00 E bottle....only took 2 oz. then fell asleep
7:40 woke up...took the rest of his bottle, then fell asleep
9:40 woke up...gave pacifier, fell back asleep
10:00 woke up...did "dream" feed...even though he was partially awake
10"40 woke up...gave paci fell back to sleep
12:30 woke up/gave paci and rolled onto side, fell asleep
1:00 same as above
3:00 same as above
6:15, woke up, I went in there but he had already put himself back to sleep
not actually sure what time he woke up this morning, I went in to get him at 8 and he was awake playing quietly

I usually don't wake him up in the morning but I always get him by 8:00. Do you think that I should start waking him up earlier?

Anyway you can help me would be appreciated...I just don't even know where to start and we are desperate to get some sleep!!!!Thanks

-Sam's tired parents

[jessmum46]

Hi there

Sorry things are so tough for you right now.  Hopefully we can come up with a plan to get you back on track soon.

I think there are most likely a couple of issues behind your night wakings.  Routine wise, I would think he is OT when going to bed because of the long afternoon without a restorative sleep, or skipping the CN.  OT at BT tends to cause night wakings before midnight, and can also cause EWs the next day.  He is round about the right age to drop down to two naps, but ideally he needs to be having 3h A time across the day so that the naps are better spread.  On the day you posted, his first A time was 3h and got you a good nap, but his second A time was only 2.5h and gave you a 35 min nap.  We had a lot of UT 35 min naps here before I realised that's what they were and it may well be if you can push his second nap out 5-10 mins every few days you'll get a longer second nap and not need to try for a CN. 

So an ideal day would be
WU 7.15
Nap 10.15-11.45
Nap 14.45-16.15
BT 7.15

If one or both naps are short, you'd need to shorten up the following A time and also combine that with an early bedtime.  During the 3-2 we went as early as 6pm several times and DD would not normally wake any earlier in the morning

The other thing that may be affecting his nights is that he isn't going down independently at bedtime, and sounds like he has become reliant on the paci/shh pat at night wakings.  I think I would suggest that you change up your bedtime routine a little so that he has his bottle before his bath, and then just has something like a song or stories afterwards.  Are you wanting to keep the paci?  I ask because it will determine what method to use for settling him - PUPD can't be used with a paci unless he can replug himself without help (usually around 7-8 month onwards).  You may decide to keep it and just put up with the frequent wakings until he can learn to do it himself, or this could be a good opportunity to get rid of it and introduce another comfort like a lovey instead.  What are your thoughts?

[Mom2Sam7312]

Thank you for replying jessmum.
That makes sense about the afternoon naps. The last two days he has taken a catnap for us and it has been slightly better before midnight, but still waking at 1,3,and 5 a.m. He is definitely reliant on the paci. When I put him down for naps, he goes to sleep independently. When I put him down for bed, he will go to sleep independently sometimes, but usually wants us to come in there and hold his hand. I have also seen him put himself back to sleep during a nap, so I know he *can* do it. He just doesn't when he wakes in the night, he is reliant on us helping him go back to sleep.

I have thought about introducing a lovey so I think we will try that. I'm not sure about the paci, on the one hand, I'm tempted to just let him keep it because he will be 7 months in about a week so probably in another month he'll be able to replace it himself. He already tries to but is only successful about 20% of the time. He will pick it up himself but then he can't always get it in his mouth. On the other hand, maybe he would sleep better if he didn't need it. With taking away the paci do you reccommend taking it away first at nap and then at night, or just all at once, or give it to him at night but then don't replace it? What do you think?

In the meantime we will work on extending his A time in the afternoon and earlier bedtime if he has a short nap...also I think the bottle before bath might be a good idea...thank you so much for the tips!

[jessmum46]

It's common for naps and night sleep to be different - apparently they are organised by different areas of the brain which explains why he might have a prop at night but not in the day.

It's completely up to you about the paci - if you want to get rid of it personally I would get rid of it completely all at once.  I think that's the least confusing.  But it sounds like he is pretty close to learning to replug so it may be worth just waiting it out a few more weeks?  Give him loads of practice during the day and then make sure there are five or six in his crib at night so he can easily find one.  You can get glow in the dark ones I think?

Let me know how you get one with stretching the A time

[Mom2Sam7312]

Thanks! We have been putting him to bed earlier, like 6:30, but we may go even earlier tonight since he was so unsettled. It has helped with the going to sleep during the last feed issue. As for the paci he is close, but we are losing our patience...A few times I have gone in there and he has had the paci in his hand but hasn't been able to get it in his mouth. I also started to put it in his hand when I go in there instead of his mouth to see if he can at least try to put it in. That's a good idea though to practice during the day since we never give him a paci during the day! Extending the A time is going okay but some days he just can't make it to 3 hrs. in the morning so I put him down early, but he has been taking a good long morning nap! We are working on it but it is slow going...one thing I am wondering is when I put him down for bedtime, he often wakes up every 30-60 min. up until 11. He goes back to sleep easily but he just seems so unsettled. I can't think what could be making him so uncomfortable. He does have acid reflux and he is on medication for it, he seems absolutely fine during the day. I'm wondering if maybe it's affecting him more at night and he needs a higher dose? He has been on 1.5 mL since he was 3 months. That's the only thing I can think of as he doesn't seem to hot/cold, etc. Thank you for your tips and insight!

[jessmum46]

If he has reflux and hasn't had a dose increase since the months he could well need the meds upping.  There's a huge growth spurt at six months which can play havoc with refluxers. 

If you're getting a good morning nap with slightly less A time than 3h that's fine