19MO isn't tired at bedtime

[dnvrmama]

We had finally gotten on track once my son moved to 1 nap a day at 14 months. More recently he was sleeping 2hrs in the afternoon and 12hrs at night very consistently. This all changed about 2 weeks ago. He started to cut his 2-yr molars and we went on a little trip to my parent's house for two nights. We got to my parent's house a little late so he had a late bedtime. He adamantly refused the pack-n-play so I cuddled with him on the floor of the walk-in closet and we made that his bed. He wouldn't go to bed without us there with him, but we figured it was a new place so that was okay. We came home and have never gotten back on track. He has only gone to sleep before 8:15 one night in the last two weeks. He wakes between 6:30 and 6:45

His schedule was:
A 7AM
E 7AM Breastmilk
E 8AM Breakfast
E 11AM Lunch
S 11:45 or12 PM
A Between 1:30 to 2:30PM (we would wake him up by 2:30 if he wasn't already awake)
E Breastmilk
E 5PM (Dinner)
E 5:45 Breastmilk
S 6:30 or 7 PM

Now we are something like this:
A 6:30 or 6:45
E 7AM Breast Milk
E 8AM Breakfast
E 11AM Lunch
S 12 or 12:15 PM (he will go down without a problem)
A 2PM (I was waking him later, but that seemed to make him stay up even later at night, so now I'm limiting him to a 1hr 45min nap)
E Breast Milk
E 5PM (Dinner)
E 5:45 Breast Milk and routine
S 7 PM which turns into 8:45 PM most nights

At night he is chipper and talking and won't settle and relax at all. He will sometimes yawn or rub his eyes and at other times doesn't seem tired at all. We have tried leaving right after the routine and he just stands at the end of his crib yelling for us. When we go in and tell him to lie down, he just won't. He just continues to call, "Mama!, Mama!" We have tried staying with him and he just talks and plays in the crib. If I cuddle with him, he might settle for 5min or so, but then will be up and restless. Sometimes teething medicine will help and other times it seems to do nothing.

Any suggestions?

[*Becky*]

Hmm, ok well to begin with I would not cap the nap at the moment. He is likely OT from the shorter nap and night so let him have the full nap for now i.e. 2 hours.
I would give meds 30 mins before BT if you suspect teeth to be a problem.
If he was an independent sleeper before and GW is not working too well then I would try WIWO. Are you familiar with this? I don't normally recommend it with teething BUT if GW is not working and you give meds so you know it is not pain then it should be fine.

[dnvrmama]

Thanks Becky,
We'll see what happens tonight!

[dnvrmama]

So we are finished, at least for a few days, with teething. But, Monday things got even further out of whack because he wouldn't take a nap at all. So he is now going to bed at a normal time at night, but his wake-up is now an hour earlier. Urg!  I'm familiar with that typically being OT, but I'm not sure how to get back on track since he is taking a good nap. Do they go through phases where they just need less sleep? It seems weird that his sleep needs would change so much so fast. A month ago he was getting 13-14hrs a day/ night.

Here is a recap of the week:
Monday       Tuesday     Wednesday           Thursday                   Friday
W 6:45am    5:45am      5:40am                  5:30am                     5:30am
S no nap       12pm         12pm                     11:45am
A no nap       2:15pm      1pm (diaper leak)  2:10pm
S  6:45pm     7:30pm      6:45pm                  7:15 or 7:30 pm
                                                                           (he didn't settle easily, but went to sleep 15-20 min after we put him down at 7pm)

Should we try to get back to 13-14 hrs? (how?) Or just kind-of keep to the same schedule and see where it goes?
We are doing lots of outside play in they day.

[*Becky*]

yes sounds like OT to me. The general rule is not to let the day go over 13 hours and that is with a good nap so on the day he had no nap I would have had him in bed more like 5pm tbh. On Tuesday I would have gone for 6.45pm BT and Wed much earlier due to the 1 hour nap so BT more like 5.45/6pm.
So if he wakes at 5.30am tomorrow then I would put him down for a nap around 11.30am, let him nap as long as poss. If it is a good 2 hours then BT can be 6.30pm and if it is less then BT more like 5.30/6pm.
Does that help?

[dnvrmama]

That is helpful. We'll see how it goes. It seems like 6pm is so far outside his window these days that he really struggles with that as a BT, but it is definitely worth a try now that he isn't teething.

Thanks!

[*Becky*]

keep us posted xx

[dnvrmama]

So we have been working to keep a total of 11hrs of awake time and that has gone okay. Sometimes it seems he needs a little less. But we are getting stuck in a cycle of every other day still having an early waking. Here is an example:

A 5:45
S 11:30
A 1:00
S 6:00 (as long a mom and dad are on the ball!)

A 6:45
S 12:00
A 2:30
S 7:30 except that he won't go to sleep... he'll stall starting with teeth brushing and diaper change. He'll often say he has to poop so we will give him some time on the toilet or playing to try and get it out since he normally does poop before nighttime sleep. And then he just won't settle. One night we ended up getting him down at 7:45 and he talked until 8:15 and then awoke the next morning at 5:30.
Tonight, he wouldn't settle and didn't get to sleep until 9:15. I finally gave him teething medicine because he had red cheeks (one of his teething signs) and wouldn't settle, but I really don't know if that was the issue. He still has one tooth left to come in and I don't feel anything there.

I hate the big jumps in time but my ultimate ideal schedule would be 7 or 7:30 until 7 or 7:30 so I hesitate to get him up any earlier when he actually sleeps closer to 7. One morning he even slept until 8:50am (with a 6:45 bedtime) which has never happened in his life! I have no idea what was going on. He wasn't sick. He is just extremely inconsistent.

thoughts?