Anyone started doing shush pat with a 5 week old when they have a toddler

[Suzyrocker]

Hi,

I have a newborn and have been very inconsistent with my methods of trying to get her to sleep.  I tried crying down, but felt this was not helping and then I've gone back to the baby whisperer techniques - whilst trying to make up for any damage done trying to use the crying down method, by responding quickly to any cries...Which I feel has created more problems as my daughter is even less likely to try and put herself to sleep. 

I tried to use crying down as I have a 2 year old and didn't feel i had the same time to invest in shush pat and PU/PD like I did with my first son.  I have to admit that I felt that shush/pat actually overstimulated my first so I haven't been very committed with my dd...However, 5 nearly 6 weeks in I feel that I'm creating more and more problems for myself, so I'm wondering is there anyone out there who's been able to use shush/pat effectively when they have had more than one child to look after?  And if so what are your tips for dealing with the toddler, as it seems unrealistic to think I can be there for 45 minutes trying to get dd asleep whilst ds1 is just hanging around. 

I've started to let DD sleep on me in a sling as she will sleep for a good couple of hours and am not sure whether to just do this for 12 weeks, when she is old enough for me to do PU/PD...Any thoughts anyone?  Please!!  Feel like I can't do anything right at the moment! xx

[jessmum46]

Just wanted to offer some (((hugs))) and to say good for you on stopping the crying down technique   We don't support anything along those lines here, and even those who do would not recommend doing it with a baby so tiny. 

At five/six weeks your LO is such a tiny precious bundle and independent sleep just isn't likely to happen at such a young age.  Things are very different with another LO to look after!  I would just do as you suggested, rock/cuddle/wear to sleep until she is closer to 3/4 months, and then, if you want to, start teaching independent sleep using shh pat .  For now, she needs her Mummy!

Just for info - PUPD is really only for LOs over four months, and was meant only as a last resort after using shh pat consistently for at least two weeks without success

[Suzyrocker]

Thank you very much for your response, feeling slightly daunted, but appreciate your thoughts, fingers crossed with holding it altogether for the next 8 weeks!!

[jessmum46]

Good luck!

[scruffymax]

Hey Suzyrocker, I have a 12mo and once a week look after my 2.5mo nephew - I've been able to pat him to sleep even with my DD in the room crawling around!  With the timing right, he goes to sleep within 5 mins.  I'm very lucky as he's a bit of a nightmare sleeper when he's with his Mum :-(  He seems to be able to sleep through anything (could be as a result of having 2 older brothers...) even my DD having a big tantrum!  I say just go with whatever works as they're all different, and don't put too much pressure on yourself to teach independent sleep at this stage.

[Suzyrocker]

Thanks Scruffymax, I think I'm just soooo conscious of being around for my DS that I wanted to crack things early to make it easier on him, but appreciate I am probably expecting too much...Thanks for your response, I guess what will be, will be.

[*Becky*]

Hi there,
Well in answer to your question...no I did not do ssh pat with DD because of my then 2.5 year old. He is super spirited and now at 4 he understands that I need 5 mins to put DD down and he will be fine but not back then. I used to try one nap a day in the cot and the rest were out and about. Luckily for me DD was/is fairly easy going usually and she either put herself to sleep (as long as I got the A times right) or if not was happy to be in her cot and so got used to being there to sleep. At 5 weeks we were all about the sling naps, it was more like 7-8 weeks I started putting her down in her cot. I found a dummy helped as did a very dark room and white noise.
Hope that helps a bit.

[Suzyrocker]

Hi Becky,

Thank you.  Baby steps needed for  us I think. Great to hear how other people tackled it, so thanks for posting.

[*Becky*]

Baby steps needed for  us I think.

yes it was for us....it is a huge adjustment for everyone!!

[Rachelss]

Really similar story here...just a few short weeks ago my third (then 3m old) was really struggling with his naps, and with two big sisters around it didn't help!  He is now much, much better, with the help of a very dark room, a full swaddle, white noise and a consistent (but quick) nap time routine to get him into his cot.  While we still have issues with waking up at 45 mins on some days, he will often resettle if I catch him before he wakes up too much.  I've hardly used the sssh pat since I helped him to sort out his naps, and now I can genuinely say to the girls that I will be 5 mins and they know I mean it. 

If you can find a combination that works for you, just stick with it!  Good luck...