COMPLETELY CONFUSED AS TO WHAT TO DO! Short naps / PU PD..

[kmz]

Hi All

I have a 10week old BF DD who has been on EASY since 6 weeks.. Its all gone really well..until about a week ago.. She does a 3.5hr EASY and was napping 2hrs x 3 a day ...  Suddenly she has decided she doesnt want to nap more than 45 mins on her morning nap and now her lunchtime nap.. and then by the afternoon nap she completely crashes and I have to wake her after 3hrs!
Here is yesterday:
0700 E (She was awake in cot when I went in so I think she may have been awake earlier)
0730 A
0815 S (she showed all the tired signs - yawn etc and went down well)
0900 Awake after 45mins! Tried to resettle for an hour.. ended up pushing her in pram in hallway to calm her and got her back to bed at
1000 S
1100 E (woke her for this feed - but she was easy to rouse so think she was almost awake herself)
1130 A
1200 Put her to bed - as she started yawning and jerking... BUT she lay wide awake in her cot not making any noise for 45mins!!!
1245 S
1330 Awake again after 45 mins - got her up
1400 E
1430 A
1500 S - was looking v tired
1815 E - HAD TO WAKE HER AGAIN!
1830 A (bath etc)
1900 E (always give her top up feed before bed)
1930 S
She STTN most nights or just wakes once...

Today though I decided to do PU PD - I have tried Shh Pat and it simply doesn't work with her - it gets her super wound up ..Anyway PU PD (which seems to work 100% better than Shh pat for her) for the first nap - which ended after 45 mins.. got her v calm after about 5 mins and she drifted in and out of sleep for about 30mins with a couple more PU PD along the way  and then finally konked out for 20mins..  when she woke after 20 mins I got her up as she was due a feed. Next nap - again 45 mins.. I did PU PD for 1hr 45mins (!!).. along the way she calmed down lots and I sat hidden watching her as she nodded in and out of a very light sleep.. then would wake herself fully .. more PU PD.. then she started to get worked up.. it was nearing 2pm (3.5hrs since last E) so I left her to cry for a bit whilst I whizzed downstairs to grab something to eat before feeding her and within minutes of me leaving she had totally konked out.. probably because she had been on and off awake for 1hr 45mins! Now I am in dilemma as to whether to wake her at 230 (4hrs since last E) or let her sleep???

Also am I FORCING her to sleep? Maybe she only wants to do 2 x 45 min naps and 1 x long nap a day? She does get v crabby though on this routine!! And I feel the second nap is only now 45 mins cos she is already tired from the first nap!!

Please help - I feel like I am trapped in the house every day trying to make her do longer naps... Argghhhh

[katie80]

Hi there,
Just wanted to let you know that PUPD is typically recommended only for babies 4mo and older and often as a last resort.  It is much more stimulating than shh/pat, so it seems if she gets wound up with shh/pat, PUPD would seem to make that worse.   There are often babies who don't care for shh/pat (either the shh or the pat bothers them), so moms will tweak it for their individual child.  You can stroke the forehead, rub her shoulder or hip, lay a hand across her body from one hip to the other shoulder and tap the shoulder, etc.  Try some different things to help her settle.  Does she go to sleep on her own at the beginning of sleep times?  How do you help her settle then?

Also, when you are extending a nap with shh/pat or PUPD, we suggest only trying to do it for 20-30min.  You will be able to tell if it's working after this amount of time.  There is no reason to spend over an hour trying to extend a nap, when her A time isn't much longer than that anyway.  It's exhausting for both of you and yes, you do not want to be in the house every day trying to make her do longer naps.

Short naps are unfortunately often very developmental and start happening right around this time.  I would say though, if you are having such a hard time getting her back to sleep when she initially wakes, she likely needs a bit more A time.  Try adding on 5-10min for a few days and see if that helps.

[kmz]

Hi there!
Thanks so much for replying.. I know PU PD is meant for 4mths + but as Shhh pat wasn't working I thought id give it a go.. and it did seem to work .. for a bit she stopped crying and lay calmly.. Ill try tomorrow though with the patting and stroking.. its just as soon as I turn her on her side and pat her she goes hyper! So maybe if I just try the hand across the body tapping her shoulder.
She settles herself fine for naps at the start (occasional 2-5min mantra cry but thats about it) its just the resettling I cant seem to do .. she obviously can do it herself as has done 2.5hr naps regularly and still does one long nap in the afternoons .. she just wont resettle in the 2 first naps.
I will try extending her A time but she does seem to get shouty and crabby if I go any longer.. but maybe if I stick at it for a few days she might adjust?
The funny thing with the short naps is that when I go in there she is all smiles and alert.. If I get her up the problem is its always another 1hr - 1hr 45 till her next E by which time she is getting tired and then her next A is almost nothing.. so the day goes all weird and she starts to get OT for the rest of the day aswell!
Ill let you know how i go! It just seems now the days are painful for both her and I - there is only a little nice A time.. : (

[dkelly718]

I don't have any advice but in the same position as you the only difference is I can usually (but not always) get a good first nap its the rest of the day that goes downhill and by the time the end of the day comes my lo is so tired and cranky. I really hope they grow out of this because like you I feel like a prisoner in my own home.

[katie80]

Ill try tomorrow though with the patting and stroking.. its just as soon as I turn her on her side and pat her she goes hyper! So maybe if I just try the hand across the body tapping her shoulder.

Yes, give it a try.  You can do shh/pat or tapping or rubbing anywhere, you don't have to turn her on her side.  Lots of moms will do it on the tummy or chest or front of diaper. 

I will try extending her A time but she does seem to get shouty and crabby if I go any longer.. but maybe if I stick at it for a few days she might adjust?

It can take 3 days up to a week to adjust to a longer A time.

If I get her up the problem is its always another 1hr - 1hr 45 till her next E by which time she is getting tired and then her next A is almost nothing.. so the day goes all weird and she starts to get OT for the rest of the day aswell!

You can move the E's around to suit the A time needed to get to the next nap.  And really, that 1-1h45 does count as A, it's just before the E.  So, you're doing EASAEAS... does that make sense?  It does get a bit weird with a short napper, but unfortunately, it's how it goes.

dkelly - Feel free to post as well, either in Naps or EASY if you'd like specific help and advice on your routine.  (((Hugs)))