Why is it so hard to get my daughter to fall asleep?

[ShayParker]

I'm trying to get my lo to fall asleep on her own but it's not working. When I put her down for her nap she screams for about 20 minutes. But I know she's tired cause she's rubbing her eyes and yawning and it's even worse at bedtime. I'll have to end up giving her another bottle to calm her down to get her to go to sleep. I've seen people say she needs to have good naps during the day to sleep all night but she wakes up once every hour at night, idk why? Should I let her fuss for a few more minutes during the day before I put her down? And what should I do at BT with the waking up every hour? Cause the ONLY way I can get her to go back to sleep is by a bottle. Shh/pat without the pat, works for naps but not BT and PU/PD makes her madder.

[jessmum46]

How old is she?  Can you post her routine for us (or a typical day)?  Does she have a bottle to go to sleep for every nap, BT and NW?

[ShayParker]

She just turned 6 months on the 4th. But she started waking during the night at least 4 times when she turned 3 months. Hasn't stopped since.
on a good day her schedule is:
8.30: Wake up
9.00: 5oz 2tbs
11.00:Nap 1-1 1/2 hr (First nap I'll shh and give her her paci. But most of the time she wont sleep til she's fed again, in her crib at that.)
12.30:Wake up 5oz bottle
1.00: 3 tbs
3.00:Nap 1 hr. (Shh/pat/paci. Sometimes it'll work.)
4.00:Wake up 5oz bottle 3 tbs
6.45:Bath
7.00:Bottle 5oz
8.30-9: Bedtime.
9.30:Will wake up screaming, wont go back to sleep til another bottle.
10.30: Another bottle
2.30-3:Bottle

The main thing when she wakes up for a bottle, is as soon as she's done, if I don't give her her paci right away she'll start crying and wont go to sleep.

[ZacsMumme]

Any history of reflux? - if not then my guess is she has a bit of a feed to sleep association she needs the bottle to sleep YK?

She could probably do with an A increase, just a touch too.

So what do you do at WD before a nap? Is she usually drowsy when you get her into the cot? - will she ever settle without the bottle?

[ShayParker]

She had a slight case of reflux when she was about a month old but not so much now.
I don't really have a wind down routine.. I've tried laying her down in bed with me but she hates laying down, wants to sit up all the time.
And no. She's pretty awake when I lay her down. The signs I look for are yawning/eye rubbing & yes, sometimes she'll go down fine without the bottle but that happens hardly ever.
She puts up a good fight.

[ZacsMumme]

My ds1 was a fighter is she touchy or spirited by any chance
The BW "Know Your Baby Quiz"

So I would work on a really short routine just before nap time. Like a mini BT routine. Ours is 5 mins quiet time then sleep sack on, muzzie Blankie, paci and I sing twinkle twinkle with lights off then into the cot, usually drowsy. Sometimes he settles himself sometimes I have to help him in the cot to sleep, sometiems I have to PU and pd as soon as Hes off.

If you can create a sleep cue as part of WD it will help prepare her for sleep.

Here are some links. I think GW is likely the gentlest way to do this. First I would work on making sure she doesn't fall asleep on the bottle/breast for at least 1 nap a day, and for this nap try to get her in the cot drowsy. Even if rocking and humming then finishing off in the cot. You can then move her towards settling more in the cot. Once she accepts 1 nap like this, work on the next YK?

I would also try a bit more A

Here's some links. What do you think?


Gradual Weaning Process (Recommended for young infant)
Gentle removal plan
What does a good wind down consist of (Includes 4S ritual)

[ZacsMumme]

Actually I was thinking about this again and you may find it better to go cold turkey on the feeding to sleep
If you have lots of support, and feel up to a bit of hard work - it could take a week or so.. Then it would be a lot quicker and maybe less confusing as she is over 6 months and can start to get a little confused . ...

Really it's up to you

Katherine what do you think?

[jessmum46]

I agree I think the bottle is likely the issue and I think it would be less confusing for her if you are consistent with another method of settling.  Are you familiar with shh pat?  A consistent winddown is a really good idea too.  She is at a good age for sleep training and will likely learn fast.  The first couple of days will probably be rough but I think you'll see some real benefits if you stick with it.  What do you think?

[ShayParker]

Okay guys- Update!(:

I put Shaylie to bed at 7:00.
At first I was like "ugh here we go again" cause she woke up 30 minutes later, then at 8, then at 9.
BUT! Instead of giving her a bottle OR her paci I did Shh/pat (without the pat. She doesn't like that)
And I just gave her a dream feed. The very first one ever. I've never been able to do it cause she woke up before I could make it and then it got too late for it.

Since putting her to bed, she hasn't had her paci, blanket, or a bottle except the dreamfeed.
doing shh had her asleep in less than a minute.
I'm feeling really good about this right now
And thanks for the tips from all of you, I really appreciate it.
I did everything you guys said and it worked.
Thank you thank you thank you.

-Kayla


-But of course it's only day 1.
We'll see how it plays out tomorrow(:

[ZacsMumme]

Great work, and hugs! It's so tough trying to sleep train when you just want to cuddle them
Kep in mind it could get harder in the next few days, but it may not!

Let us know how you get on.holding your hand

[jessmum46]

Great job!  Now to stay strong and consistent