3 mo no routine nw every hour and ew

[dkelly718]

My lo is 3 months old and I have been trying to get him on the EASY routine since he was 4 weeks old. He only naps for about 30-45 mins regardless of his A time. Occasionally he will nap longer if he sleeps on me or in the car but even that isn't consistent. I have been all over the nap board and still no change. I have come to terms with this and for the most part am ok with it. However, these night wakings are killing me. Two nights this week he has been up every 1.5-2 hrs and its not to eat. On Tuesday night he was up every 1.5 starting at 9:30 I fed him and he wasn't that hungry and then wouldn't go back to sleep until 11:00 and was up every 1.5 hr after that. Wednesday night he was better he woke up every three hours. Last night he went down at 8:00 he was up at 9:00 he was able to put himself back to sleep than was up at 10:45, 1:00, 3:30 I feed him here and then he woke up at 7:00. Each time he wakes up I put the paci in and he goes right back to sleep. I am not sure if the paci is becoming a prop because I don't let him fall asleep with the paci its only used to get him back to sleep. The other thing I am wondering is that the days he woke up a lot he slept more during the day. Normally he will get anywhere between 3-3.5 hours of nap time a day( he is a crappy napper) however on the days he woke up a lot he got 4+ hours of sleep. I don't know what to do I am so tired. I can post my easy schedule but its really not any type of a schedule. I ideally want him to sleep from 8-8 and i don't mind waking up twice to feed him but these unnecessary wake-ups are killing me since he obviously can go 6-7 hours without eating.

WU anywhere between 7:00-8:30
Eat whenever he wakes up.
A I keep his a times to about 1.5 hours
S 30-45 mins (this goes on all day)
BT 7:45-8:00
 
Any help will be much appreciated. Its not a gs because we dealt with that last week when he was eating about every 2 hours during the day.

[theu.s.lees]

Have you tried extending the naps at all? I know that when my DD was around 3.5 months old she started only taking 45 minute naps. I was having to extend most naps using shh/pat. We even tried the HTTJ which helped. I think that even if the total amount of nap time is the right amount, only a 30/45 minute nap isn't restorative enough and so he's probably NW because he's so tired and off.

Hugs for you. It is a tough time developmentally, but its worth the effort to work on extending the naps.

Here is a link with sample EASY's to get you an idea. I'd look at both 0-3 months and the 4-6 months as you could be borderline.
Sample EASY Routines from 0 - 13mths+

Have you tried tweaking your A time so that its shorter/longer? It could take some time to find the right balance for him right now.

[dkelly718]

I always try to extend every nap but most of the time he wakes up happy and smiling. Sometimes I can extend with the paci and if I pick him up and hold him which is what happen the two days this week I was able to extend his naps so he slept more during the day but then he woke up every two hours at night.

[theu.s.lees]

If he's smiling and happy he's probably a bit UT, and not needing a longer nap at that point. Maybe try extending the A time then by 15 minutes or so and see if that helps to get his naps longer.

[dkelly718]

I appreciate your help but I have tried even if he has an A time of 1hr 45 or 2 hours it doesn't matter he will still only sleep 30-45 minutes and 9/10 times wakes up smiling. There isn't any consistency with him. I have tried every possible A time earlier and later and sometimes I can get him back to sleep so I try it again the next day and we are back to a short nap again. The past three days I put him down for his first nap at  exactly at an hour and 27 mins after he woke up. The first day got 40 mins the second day he woke up after 35 minutes put the paci in and fell right back to sleep for another 1hr 20 mins which i thought was great then today tried it again and woke after 50 minutes I put the paci in but he was happy and smiling and wouldn't go back to sleep. I just don't get it. But even still the days he slept longer during the day he woke up more at night. I am so confused because I thought sleep begets sleep so if I get him sleeping more during the day why is he waking up so much at night? I don't know if he is starting to get addicted to the paci but I don't let him fall asleep with it. I just am so confused. I really do appreciate your help

[theu.s.lees]

This may go against everything BW, but what if you stuck with a "routine" of eat activity sleep, but instead of starting with a specific A time, just watch his cues. Maybe he will surprise you and can do a much longer A time than you think. Maybe once you hit 1.5 hrs make sure to keep the activities not too overstimulating in case you need to get him down. I found that for S, at one point, I was trying to stick too much to a schedule than a routine. Once we figured out her A times by what SHE could do, not what she was "supposed" to do we were able to get on more of a set routine.

Also, what is your wind down look like? I found that a much longer wind down was needed around 3 months. We would (and still do) start just walking around the house or sitting looking at books the last 15-20 minutes before starting the actual routine. Then we'd do a diaper change, put on her sleep sack (swaddled still at that age for her), read a story and then sit in the dark with some lullabies for a few minutes. Then once she was relaxed, but not asleep in my arms, I'd lay her down to sleep.

Another thing, what does his A time look like? If he's lying/sitting with toys hanging over him most of the time he could be getting OS. That was another thing I found with S. She needed a variety of activities, but not all with toys hanging over her head or with just one toy, not 5 that are often on the play mats.

We also found that S could resettle herself even if she woke up smiling and chatting. Do you have a video monitor that you can watch him? If he's okay, maybe see if he goes back to sleep on his own after a few minutes.

As for the paci, I'm the wrong person to ask about that. S still uses one for her naps. We have the wubanubs, so she can replace it easily herself and could pretty early since it has the little animal on the end that helps her grab it.

Sleep usually does beget sleep. However, if he's sleeping more during the days only after a rough night, he's still playing catch up the next day, so he still may not be as well rested leading to another tough night.

 Is he eating every say, 3 hours during the day, to make sure he's getting enough. I guess you had said he's not eating at night, so maybe that's not the issue.

[dkelly718]

You have some good ideas and it makes me feel better that I have tried all of them. I have tried watching for sleepy cues but honestly he always looks tired rubbing his eyes, yawning, and burrowing his head into my neck and when I put him down its the same thing. I know that Awake times work for most babies but honestly I just don't think it matters with my lo. On Saturday I put him down at the same time as I always do and he slept for over an hour and 40 minutes without waking up once! I did it for the next nap and I got a 35 minute nap. How can he be overtired for the second nap and not for the first? Then I tried the same exact routine on Sunday and again I got a 40 minute nap. I really don't think it has to do with Awake times. He usually wakes up happy and actually acts more tired after a longer nap than after a shorter nap. I have tried just letting him hang out to see if he will fall back asleep but he doesn't he just lays there playing until he gets bored and then he will start to cry.  I just don't know what to do .

My wind down routine is walk around the house put on lullaby music and hold him for a few minutes then Swaddle and sit for a couple minutes by this time he is crying I then switch to white noise try and calm him down and depending on the nap put him down and try and let him go to sleep on his own. The first nap of the day he usually can but as the day progresses and OT sets in I have to rub his belly until he falls asleep. The last nap of the day I have to hold him until he falls asleep because he just cries hysterically to the point he almost makes himself sick.

For his A times they vary from sitting in his bouncy seat, under his activity mat with only one toy, sitting on the couch and playing with a toy, walking around the house, read a story etc. I usually mix it up and try not to get him too stimulated. I just feel like a failure because I just can't read my son and I just am at such a loss for what to do. I get absolutely nothing done each day because all I do is either try and get him to sleep or try and get him to stay asleep. I wish I knew what I was doing wrong.

[theu.s.lees]

Big Hugs. We've all been there, not knowing what to do. That was us with S last week as she was dealing with a WW. Have you tried writing down everything? Anytime either of my kids are struggling I keep track of their EAS for a few days/week to see if anything is obvious. I also include what they are eating (since he's not on solids yet, even what you're eating). It doesn't seem like discomfort is the issue, but something to keep in mind.

Some kids (mine included) need different A times depending on the time of day. Your son may be able to do his longest A time after he wakes up, but after his nap needs a shorter one.

Another thing, are you participating on the 0-3 month boards? I've found other moms with similar aged babies to be life savers. Sometimes we are all going through something as it is just that stage and it is so nice to know I'm not alone or crazy! I'm on the 4-6 month ones right now.
Birth Clubs 0-18mths