Author Topic: So...am I chained to my house now?  (Read 1019 times)

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Offline MommaMouse

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So...am I chained to my house now?
« on: March 27, 2013, 00:35:34 am »
Hi, everyone! I'm a serious newbie - still reading through BWSAYP, today's our first day on EASY. I've been trying to do "attachment parenting by the book" - co-sleeping, babywearing, LO never out of my sight during the day, etc. I realize that my little 3.5 week old angel has been SERIOUSLY OT, not terminally gassy/in pain/possessed as we feared  ;) She's actually brilliant, already self-soothing when I put her down in a timely manner. This is awesome. Hopefully tonight goes as well - she's been on just 2 feedings a night most nights even without enough sleep during the day.

But...how do I take advantage of how portable she is? Before starting this routine, I would strap her on me, or in her car seat, and take off for wherever. She's slept through coffee shops, sightseeing with visiting family, even a noisy bar on St. Paddy's. But now that I'm trying to give her proper naps, I feel like she's got to be at home, in her crib - meaning I have to be at home, too. How do other BWs handle this, please? I had a rough pregnancy, and REALLY want to get out and DO stuff now that I'm feeling better!!!  8)

Offline *Kara*

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Re: So...am I chained to my house now?
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2013, 05:29:52 am »
Tracy did suggest living at home for a couple of weeks to get your routine established... once you have your times figured out, it's quite easy to get out and about...



Offline creations

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Re: So...am I chained to my house now?
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2013, 07:08:18 am »
Hi started EASY at about 4weeks.  I timed going out around naps so either making sure i was home or putting in the sling/car seat in time to fall to sleep.  Sling naps are not independent, car seat naps aren't either as the movement is a prop, however it is important to balance LOs need with Mummy's needs.  I won't say there weren't difficulties, there were, my LO soon decided he needed his own bed to sleep properly and as much as I could I made sure I was home for them, not always possible.  A couple of months down the line he wouldn't sleep in his pram at all and this caused us some big problems because of appointments I could not avoid or work around.  I wished then that I'd got him more used to sleeping in the pram so that I could provide him with a decent sleep opportunity away from home.
My advise would be to try to make at least one nap at home every day, the same nap every day because LOs form habits and one good nap at home will remain with them all the way up to dropping the nap.  If they are independent and prop free for that nap and bed time you can work in more freedom for yourself and your family needs.  For example my LO always had a long morning nap at home, his afternoon nap and CN were in the car (one on the way somewhere, the other on the way home).  The afternoon nap wasn't as long as it ideally would have been so he did struggle with tiredness and needed a shorter A time before the CN.  It didn't give me the sort of freedom I imagine you'd like to have going out and about, I was trapped in the car whilst he finished a sleep cycle, everything was planned around setting off at just the right time for his sleep needs, bit of a pain really, but I couldn't avoid going out so it's a way to work around it taking everyone's needs into account and doing your best.
If the thought of staying home all day every day to allow your LO to sleep is going to drive you nuts, or make you depressed, then you really must get out.  A peaceful/happy/healthy mummy is more important than sleep training.


Offline Shiv52

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Re: So...am I chained to my house now?
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2013, 08:19:54 am »
I absolutely would not stay at home for a few weeks to be honest. By that stage a lot of LOs get so used to sleeping In the dark in their room that naps out and about are hard to achieve. I don't think going out everyday is achieveable but even aim to get out every couple of days over one nap and that will keep enough of a routine at home but provide sanity for you too!  I truly believe everyone's needs have to be accounted for.   





Offline helspells

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Re: So...am I chained to my house now?
« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2013, 15:30:10 pm »
I completely empathise OP. my LO is now 6 months but is very sensitive around sleep. As others have suggested I try to stick to a routine in the mornings which I find quite easy as LO usually up before 7 so first nap is about x915 for us. Then once first nap over we can get out and about. My LO sleeps well in car and push chair so today for example I'm meeting a friend for lunch. I've moved it back to an early lunch so that we will finish by second nap time and I can get her in the car for a sleep then head out to do lots of chores, supermarket shop etc. she will probably only do 45 mins and maybe another few mins in car later but you simply can"'t have no life no matter how much easier baby would be if you stayed at home.  in fact days when i do stay at home often don't go to plan anyway!! No matter what you do it is difficult when they're v young no matter what routine you follow. I've had so many ups and downs but now she's hit 6mo things a bit easier only 2 naps per day etc. 

Offline MommaMouse

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Re: So...am I chained to my house now?
« Reply #5 on: March 27, 2013, 16:58:54 pm »
Thank you so much for the responses! These are very helpful. The fact is, she is quite good and flexible (not what I was anticipating; I'm pretty sensitive myself, and expected a touchy baby. Thank goodness she takes after Daddy here.). I don't want to get scared of car seats and carriers the way I was scared of bottles, thinking if I fed her EBM ONE TIME before she was 6 weeks, she'd never touch the breast again. Turns out she's quite happy to go back and forth, no need for me to worry. So hopefully this will turn out the same way, and it's just a case of touchy Momma thinking things are more complicated than they are. I hope. I hope.  ;) (She's drifting off in her car seat as I type, since it's nap time and we have a Dr appt to leave for in 10 mins. Fingers are firmly crossed.)

Offline Shiv52

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Re: So...am I chained to my house now?
« Reply #6 on: March 27, 2013, 21:39:09 pm »
While she's so flexible and sleeping well then fab.

You may find as she gets bigger shell be more distracted out and about but I still didnt let that deter me. I just made sure after a day out we had a day at home to make up for bad naps.

I think napping elsewhere is a skill. Some mummies spend months at home and then wonder why their LOs can't nap anywhere else. I always maintained naps out and so both mine were well used to it.





Offline *Kara*

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Re: So...am I chained to my house now?
« Reply #7 on: March 27, 2013, 22:53:50 pm »
Just wanted to add - the reason I would suggest staying home is to establish a routine... if you are always on the go, LO may micronap then refuse a proper nap... this happened to me until I committed to staying home around naps for a short amount of time to get a routine sorted and get LO well rested.  Once that was in place - I could easily come and go and not worry about the dreaded micronap.




Offline Skadiver13

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Re: So...am I chained to my house now?
« Reply #8 on: March 27, 2013, 23:02:50 pm »
See my LO could NEVER sleep anywhere but his crib from 6 weeks on. We tried in the car (he still hates the carseat), once he became very aware  (around 10weeks) the stroller stopped being an option. He is very into everything going on and needs a set routine/wind down and nap in his crib. I make sure he is home for his 2hr nap in the AM and then I do my best to be home for the PM nap but if I miss it for one reason or another I make sure the next day to be home for both to help him catch up. I guard his naps as he only does a 10hr night. Every little one is different. Your little one is so young that I wouldn't be too worried about where they sleep since they are only 3.5weeks old. Once you start seeing a routine emerge then I would agree with Kara and stay home for a a while to establish a routine and then see what type of behavior your lo has. It sounds as if she is easy going so you may find it no problem to do the occasional nap in the car or stroller and your lo will be no worse for wear.
My dreamed for Angel Baby DD (other than dreaded 40min naps) Born 4/30/16
Reflux, MSPI, Love my Spirited,textbook little munchkin DS Born 5/17/2012



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Offline Lindsay27

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Re: So...am I chained to my house now?
« Reply #9 on: March 27, 2013, 23:32:59 pm »
I think I committed to staying at home for a week or 2 to establish the routine, but like it has been said...everyone is different.  My DS prefers to sleep in his own crib but will also nap in the car.

For the most part, I tried to keep our mornings the same so I at least knew that he had 1 solid nap into him.  If I went out I did it in the afternoon and we were normally okay because he is a good car sleeper.  I think someone else suggested keeping the mornings the same and that is what worked really well for us :)



Offline Shiv52

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Re: So...am I chained to my house now?
« Reply #10 on: March 27, 2013, 23:37:36 pm »
My DD1 is totally spirited. I put a blanket round her buggy so she could go to sleep because she just had to look at anything and everything.

Given your LO seems to cope so well you should have no bother establishing your routine with doing most naps at home and some out and about.