How to wean 12 month - before bed nursing session

[pennypie1]

I have been nursing my 12 month old before bed.  This is probably a bad habit since he and I use it to get him to sleep.  He usually falls asleep or almost while nursing.  He only gets bottles during the day.  He usually wakes up once or no times during the night.  If he wakes up I breastfeed him.   I would like to stop breastfeeding. 

The past few days I have tried to give him a bottle instead of breastfeeding him before bed.  I put him in his crib and since he is not as sleepy as usual he gets very upset, if he gets too frantic I usually give in and nurse him.  After nursing him, sometimes he will go to sleep and other times he is still upset.  I feel like I am sending mixed messages.  Would it be better to give him a bottle, then breastfeed and slowly reduce the time?  I don't know if stopping the before bed nursing is also messing with his night sleep, but the past few days he has also been waking up and not easily settled at 4am (even after I nurse him).

I still nurse him if he wakes up at night.  Should I stop this too or just focus on one at at time?  Like getting him to go to bed without nursing and then work on night wakings?

Hopefully this isn't too jumbled to understand.  Any help is greatly appreciated.  Thanks in advance!!

[cath~]

Hi,
Yes I think you are prob sending mixed messages if you give bottle and then end up BFing anyway before bed.
Has your LO ever settled independently for sleep? Eg at nap time? If not, you will need to do some sleep training (eg gradual withdrawal GW) to help.

If you are going down the GW route, IIWM I would prob keep the BT bf for now but make sure you don't feed to sleep so LO learns how to fall asleep on their own, using the GW technique. One way could be to do a BT story after the bf and right before bed, to break the association of the bf being right before bed.

Then, once LO can fall asleep without bf to sleep, then stop BFing at BT and offer bottle/cup instead (if you still want to keep a drink of milk at BT). You could also, if you want, bring the bottle/cup a bit earlier eg before bath.

On the other hand, if your LO can self settle already, and it's 'just' a case of teaching him that he no longer gets a bf at BT then I would switch straight to bottle/cup and stick with it. Don't offer a bf as well/instead or, as you say, this is just sending mixed signals.

I think you could probably focus on just dropping the BT bf for now, if that's what you'd prefer, without necessarily tackling the NFs as well. You might find that once you have taught your LO to SS at BT without a bf that he stops waking for feeds in the night too.

[Erin M]

I'd also do some switching of your routine as well.  When I weaned ds from his BT nursing around 16 months, we just changed things up a little -- and stayed out of the chair where I always nursed -- instead we sat on the floor and read some stories.  I didn't necessarily worry about replacing it immediately with something else -- I think I may have given him some milk with his dinner instead.  What does his milk intake look like during the day?

[pennypie1]

Thanks for the responses.  He can put himself to naps without nursing.
 
He has pumped breastmilk in bottles - 5oz in the morning, and two 4oz bottles during the day.  Then he would breastfeed before bed, so I was putting 5 oz of milk in the bedtime bottle.  He eats 3 solid meals.


He got frantic last night before bed and I caved in and breastfed him.  I will just have to try to find another way to soothe him.  Not sure what though

[Fiver]

Sounds like he's eating pretty well during the day, so probably looking for the comfort of the BF before bed, which is understandable.

Could he have his BT bottle somewhere that you don't usually feed before bed?

[nona]

can someone else put him to bed?

[pennypie1]

Well last night went good but I think it was because he was so tired since he skipped his afternoon nap.  I fed him his bottle rocked him and put him in his crib sleepy and he went to sleep while rubbing his back. 

I will see how tonight goes, I wonder if he also has the 2 to 1 nap transition going on. 

[Fiver]

It's certainly possible.  It's the right sort of age.