6.5 month old terrible sleeper, getting worse and worse :(

[hit12]

Okay here goes...  Very long...

LO has always woken up lots during the night for feedings.  He used to fall straight to sleep during/ after and I could lay him back in his cot no problem.  At around 3 months old he was going through from bedtime (6.30/7) til 12 or 1 before his first waking but that only lasted about a month and now he wakes at 9.30pm for first night feed.  He normally feeds 3-4 times a night but now also wakes up in between these feeds, so can be waking after 45mins to an hour.  He has to be rocked back to sleep which can sometimes take over an hour as he might seem to be totally asleep but then wakes up when we try to put him back down.  When he wakes he starts kicking his legs/ slamming them on the mattress and gets upset.  He's not so much of a cryer but just really moans and this escalates if we leave him be.

I put him down for naps three times a day at regular times (approx 9, 12 and 3) but he will only sleep 30-45 minutes and again has to be rocked to sleep.  Sometimes he will just not fall asleep at all no matter how hard I try (usually for 3rd nap) and ends up with only two short naps

Last night he randomly slept till 10.50pm, when I fed him and made the decision to not feed him again until 3am and 7am.  It was clear he didn't need all the night feedings as he was not BF first thing in the morning and was waiting til nap time.  So tonight am trying 11,3,7 again.  He went down at 6.20pm and has already woken up 4 times and DH has had to rock him back to sleep (which has taken aaaages each time).  He is currently attempting again but LO is crying

I have always BF on demand but he had started to always decide to do it when I was trying to put him down for a nap so today started him on an EASY routine, hoping it might help naps/ night sleep.  Here's how it went:

6.30am - Woke up (this time varies depending on his NWs)
7am - BF
7.20 - Breakfast (doing BLW so solid intake is very minimal at the mo as he is just learning!)
8.45 - Fell asleep, woke first time I tried to put him down, rocked again and managed to get him in cot at 9.05 (do I count nap from 8.45 or 9.05?!)
9.35 - Woke up
11 - BF
11.30 - Lunch
12.25 - Sleep - 35 mins
2.50 - BF
3.30 - Nap 25 mins
4.45 - Tea
6pm - BF
6.20 - Sleep

My main questions are...
Am I doing the EASY routine correctly?
Why are his naps so short/ How can I lengthen them?!
How can I reduce his night wakings??


Basically what can I do to get more sleep?!  DH and I are soooooooo sleep deprived and I feel it's really taking its toll

[Shiv52]

Average A times and "Is my baby ready to increase A time?"

I think the issue is he is not getting enough A time. At 6.5 months mists babies are on 3 hours A time and on two solids naps. I think your LO is is an UT/OT cycle and its taking him so long to go to sleep either because he is just not tired enough or as the day goes on is getting more OT.

I think the other issue is he needs to learn to sleep independently. Rocking him to sleep or feeding too frequently at night means he has no idea how to resettle himself without you or DH being there. How do you feel about working on that?

[hit12]

Yes we definitely want to work on that as it's hard work rocking him and I'm thinking he'd perhaps wake up less if he could settle himself? I want to focus on tweaking his routine and dropping a night feed first as don't want to change too much at once. Plus the routine change means he's no longer taking his feeds at nap time so I guess I'm sorta taking away one prop at a time! I'm anxious about teaching him to sleep independently though, it just seems impossible he literally pings his eyes open the moment that he touches the mattress unless he is soundo. Plus I'm looking for a no cry method... Any advice?

[Shiv52]

There is no method in the world that is truly a no cry method. There will be crying when you teach independent sleep. But using BW methods you do not leave your baby to cry. You are right there the whole time reassuring them and letting them know you are there. Does that make sense?  That maintains and builds on the trust between you rather than leaving him to cry alone which is proven to break trust.

I think the 2 things go hand in hand. So you need to get that A time up and you need to work on self settling. 

You are aiming for a routine like:

7am wake up
10am nap
11.30am wake up
2.30pm Nap
4pm Wake up
7pm bed

He's been managing pretty long A times on very short naps so I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how quickly he can fall into a more age appropriate routine.

The reason I say the two go hand in hand is that by trying to drop a night feed without him having self settling skills is that all you are doing is replacing one prop (the feeding) with another (rocking) when it is probably better just to replace it with him self settling. Rather than tackle a prop by replacing it with a prop to then have to tackle it in a few weeks. Seems unfair on him to get used to one way when ultimately you are going to change that on him in a week or 2.

But it's totally up to you. Maybe you want to do the new routine for a week and stick to it consistently and continue with the rocking then once he's in the new routine work on independent sleep.  Let me know. There are a few ways to tackle the independent sleep. I think a very gentle approach would suit you so rocking until nearly asleep but making sure he is put down before he's asleep then ssh patting on to sleep. The aim then is you put him down more and more awake as the week goes on as he learns to sooth himself.

[hit12]

Yep I know I will be replacing one prop for another!  I'm ok with that for now as I think I really want to get to grips with the routine first.  I was thinking about putting him down less and less asleep...  My problem is he can be super drowsy/ asleep but the second he feels me moving him down into the cot it's like he pings wide awake and starts kicking around like mad and sshhing/ patting seems to do nothing to settle him...  Should I then pick him back up and get him back to drwosy state?