15 months and still waking

[hokievol]

I followed the EASY plan with my baby from birth and had a great experience.  She goes to sleep like a dream, better than any child I have ever known, that part is not a problem for nighttime or naps.  She says "night night" and she's out cold.  The problem is that at 15 months old, she is still getting up at least once most nights.  My husband and I are exhausted, and we have a 12 year old in the home who is also effected.  Here are the answers to the preliminary questions, any help would be greatly appreciated.
What’s his/her daily routine?:  We continue to follow the EASY routine.  She eats upon waking, sometimes twice before sleeping depending on hunger and growth spurts but is never fed to sleep.
What’s nap routine?:  She wakes about 7am, naps for 1 1/2-2 hours at 9:30 and 2:30 (give or take a 1/2 hour depending on wake-up time)
What's bedtime routine? Time?:  7-7:30pm is bedtime.  She gets a bath every other day, pajamas and diaper, milk with stories (doesn't take it in the crib with her or anything), then I lay her down with her blanket, say goodnight and leave.  She has a fan for white noise.
Do you bottle or breastfed??: She is on solids and milk from straw cup
How many wakes per night?: At least one, lately 3-4
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up?:  Sometimes she is up for hours, sometimes she just wakes up, yells, and goes back to sleep, but most of the time she cries until we come in and then cries when we leave.
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry?: She is crying when we go to her.
What have you tried to settle??: We have tried timed crying, co-sleeping, picking up-soothing-back down
What do you do for A time and how long is it?: She is up for at least 2-3 hours at a time, we play with toys, outside in the kiddie pool, errands, etc
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones?: Teething and walking right now, this has gone on off and on for months, though.
Do they have a prop? If so what is it?:  Is her thumb a prop??
Do they have a lovie?:  Yes, yellow crocheted blanket.

[anna*]

Hi there

I think your daughter is probably ready for less daytime sleep so she is a bit more tired at night. 2-3hrs of A time is appropriate for a baby of 4-7 months, by this age most can manage at least 4.5hrs. I would definitely suggest you start the transition to one nap now. I'd do a 30 mins nap at 10 or 10.30am, and then a long nap at 2ish. In a couple of weeks time you would drop the morning nap and just do one nap at 11.30 or 12.

[anna*]

Or you can go the other way around and do a long morning nap and a short pm catnap.

[hokievol]

Thanks for the help!  When she goes down for her naps, she's happy to go to sleep and sleeps well.  When we miss a nap because of, well, life or something, that's when she really has trouble at night.  Yesterday is a good example.  She took a 2 hour nap in the morning from 10-12, then we went out to a baseball game for Father's Day.  She did fine, went to bed a little early at 6:30, but was then up almost every half hour from 9:30-2am.

[anna*]

Yeh, when you make changes to naps you really do have to try it for a full week or two. At first they are overtired and sleep can get worse at first but then they get used to it. She's really having way too much daytime sleep for her age, to sleep well at night.

YOu mentioned all the things you had tried to settle her at night - what are you currently doing?

[hokievol]

We're accidentally parenting all over the place.    That's why I got on here, the things I learned when she was an infant really helped so much that I knew I could get some great help here!  We'll go down to one nap, I'll start cutting back tomorrow since she's already had her naps for today.

[anna*]

I ghtink you need to hit the independent sleep at night, too. It's perfectly possible for little ones to go to sleep independently but have a prop for night wakings. You can use WIWO since she is already an independent sleeper. It will be tough because toddlers don't like change!

[hokievol]

Where can  I find more information on WIWO?

[anna*]

There's some info here: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

[hokievol]

Thanks!  We tried going in, not picking up, soothing, and leaving then timing her crying.  I just can't get on board with the crying, though.  I have tried sleeping with her, but she just uses me as a jungle gym so that's a no-go.  I really don't want to do that regardless. 
Our sitter put her down 30 minutes later for her morning nap today (10am) and is only going to allow her 30-45 minutes for her afternoon nap at 2:30.  We're planning to do that for a week then re-assess, hopefully moving the morning to 10:30, then 11, and eliminating the afternoon.  Does that sound right?
As far as nighttime goes, I will start going in, soothing, and leaving.  She has her blanket and is a thumb-sucker, so that should work.

[anna*]

WIWO isn't like timed comforting because you listen to the crying and go back in immediately if she's very distressed. There IS a lot of crying with WIWO but basically there is a lot of crying when you change things up with toddlers. If you feel like doing controlled crying in the past has broken trust, you could do gradual withdrawal instead. Hope the new nap routine works well.

[hokievol]

Thanks, Anna!  We haven't used controlled crying much, so I think the trust is still there.  We don't have any problems getting her to go to bed initially, she goes down like a dream and always has, so I think we're good there.  It's the middle of the night wake-ups that we're struggling with.  I'm going to do WIWO now to address those, I think it'll be a good fit. I hope.  :-)

[hokievol]

Thank you guys so much!  We're moving her morning nap later in the day, and she's tolerating it pretty well.  I did WIWO the last two nights and it's been so much better.  We were up for an hour the first night, last night she settled within 30 minutes.  I feel like a new human with all this sleep I'm getting!

[anna*]

that's great! Keep us updated on your progress!