20 month old - OT, SA or AP?

[ENMS]

DS is 20 months old. I'd say he's medium to low sleep needs. But I think he's now OT and I'm not sure how to fix it.

We had a busy summer which started with many trips to the IL's and then MIL passing. Around that time he started taking lots of time to fall asleep chatting to himself. Nothing really fixed that but he ended up taking less time before he fell asleep after I pushed his nap to 1 (used to be 12).

Now recentlyin the past 2-3 weeks, I notice he wakes crying from his naps and in the AM (which he never used to do before) and often cries out during the night (maybe 2-3 times a night, will do a short cry, call mommy and then I don't hear him. I took him to the Dr for a check-up today and all is fine (ears, throat, etc). I truly do not think he is in pain. But he's still having trouble falling asleep at night, and his nights are on the short side (10-10.5). He used to nap 3h but he shortened it (by himself) to 2h a few weeks before the BT shenanigans started.
I try to not go to him when he babbles but if he cries, I do. But I just realized he has started fake crying (and is loving it  ) and so it makes me Wonder if it's just a way to get more attention maybe? We've spent loads of time with him as we've been on vacation for the past 2.5 weeks and it doesn't seem to make a difference whatsoever.

I'm really not sure how to approach this?

His routine is:

WU 6:30-7
Nap 1-3
BT we aim for 7:30-8 but some days he doesn't fall asleep until 8:30-8:45.

I'm not sure if I should tweak his routine, or do something else?

ETA: I did EBT last night put him down at 7, he fell asleep at 8, and slept until 7:15.  Cried out twice at 11PM and 5AM.  He usually doesn't tack on with EBT so I'm thinking it's definitely looking like OT?

[Buttonbobs]

Is there any sign of teething? Have you tried medicating to rule out teething at all?

[ENMS]

He just finished getting his 4th canine 2-3 weeks ago. This has been going on for way longer than this. Would the 2yr molars cause this? I may try to medicate but I'd be pretty surprised if that would be it.

He cries but the second I get in his room, he's all happy and chatty.

He started a new daycare this week. So that's why I'm thinking SA but this has been going on for so long now, I'm starting to think there may be some AP involved, yk?

[Buttonbobs]

Hmm. It could be that the canines were playing havoc until recently and now the changes and starting daycare are disrupting. At this age it just seems to be one thing then another.

I think you're doing he right thing in trying to spend lots of time with him now he's at the new daycare, but I would try medicating to see if it does make a difference. It could be the start of the 2yr molars, but it could be SA. If you fear AP you'll just need to keep consistent now and see when it improves.

I'm sorry this isn't very helpful. How was last night?

[ENMS]

It took a good 45-50 minutes of going in to see him before he fell asleep. I didn't hear him trough the night though. He was crying harder than usual so we went often. He seems to be trying to tell us something every time we go so maybe we're not understanding what he needs properly and that frustrates him? Anyhow he was really crying hard and was so tired that DH ended up patting him till he was on his way to falling asleep. I totally know that is not the best. But at this point we are totally out of ideas How would you approach it so not to create an AP trap?

I will try to medicate him tonight and see how that goes.

Thanks a lot for your help!

[Buttonbobs]

If he's going through a rough patch for SA or teething reasons he may just need you there for a bit. With my DD she's always needed support but then has gone back to sleeping independently easily after the phase has passed. If it doesn't work the same for you you will probably find it easier to sleep train to help him back on track.

You might need to stick to the longer A times for a good few days before deciding whether itMs working or not - consistency really is the key to helping your LO know what to expect.

[ENMS]

Thank that is great advice. I kept it in mind tonight and stayed with him but it still took him forever to fall asleep I guess I may have to just accept it for now, he is OT and probably has some SA from starting a new daycare.

FX he does like your DD and goes back to independent sleep on his own . If not, what sleep training do you use at that age? GW?

[Buttonbobs]

It depends, some people use WIWO and others use GW.
Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)
Personally, we find being in the room with E nowadays is more likely to keep her awake unless she's in pain or ill. We therefore do a sort of WIWO to check she's ok and then reassure her with our voices from the doorway. If your LO has been an IS before then you should be able to find your method quite quickly, then just stick with it.
More (((hugs)))

[ENMS]

Personally, we find being in the room with E nowadays is more likely to keep her awake unless she's in pain or ill. We therefore do a sort of WIWO to check she's ok and then reassure her with our voices from the doorway

is that what you would do in the current situation too (OT, SA)? I found that yesterday the fact that I was there helped him stay calm, but it definitely did not help him fall asleep. I'm tryiong to find something for tonight that will reassure him, but help him fall asleep quickly otherwise he'll never get out of this OT if he takes 1.5h to fall asleep every night. Luckily it's a long week-end so we'll have 3 days with him at home to rest and hopefully get good sleep.

Thanks again

[Buttonbobs]

it might work - it's worth a try
If you find it doesn't work straight away, you could use GW from this point to help you get out of the door. Maybe only go back in if he's really crying.