5 mo flat out refusing the CN - need help with tweaking

[draxela]

Hi ladies, I really need some help here:

DD2 is a terrible sleeper. She's touchy/spirited, has reflux (much better since lip and tongue tie release) and food intols (I don't eat dairy, soy, wheat or eggs now!)

This is a rough idea of her EASY but it's pretty all over the place TBH:

6.30/7 - wake & bf
9/9.30 - S (anywhere from 45 mins to 2 hrs!)
10.30/11 - bf
1.30/2 - S (see above)
3.30/4 - bf
6 - start bt routine: bath, boob, in bed by 7.30
NF - usually around 2.30-3.30 but she's recently started NW at 12.30/1. Argh.

Issues:
She flat out refuses to CN, sometimes I've tried for hours and it just. won't. happen.
She hangs out on the boob for at least an hour after her bath, and usually falls asleep there. I don't get to eat dinner til nearly 8 pm.
I'm finding that because DD1 is only 21 mths it's really hard to do BW (it's getting easier now but in the beginning it was like having two babies!)
She has a cold at the moment which I think is causing the early NW but it could also be OT.
The NF is usually an hour and she falls asleep on the boob. Should I cut it short?

Grateful for some experienced eyes and assistance!

[Layla]

She might be missing the cn due to being unwell or it could be that she's in the 3-2 nap transition...but in any case, if you can't get her to take it then do an earlier bedtime to compensate for the missed nap. You could either try waking her up 1.5hrs into the morning and afternoon nap to make sure she's tired enough to take it or start working on spreading out her naps so that the A time before bed isn't so long, which can lead to more overtiredness. My dd started missing the odd cn here and there and then it started getting difficult putting her down for it so I bit the bullet and started stretching her A times and for the past 3 days she's been on 2 naps but I've really had to bump the bedtime to an earlier hour (6pm at the moment) and she is sleeping until 6/6.30am the next day. We still have 1-2 night feeds. Our A time in the morning is approx 2.75-3hrs, in the afternoon 2.5hrs (working on getting it closer to 3) and 3hrs before bedtime.

So on a day your DDs pm nap ends at say 3pm, I really would encourage an earlier bedtime, you don't want her to be awake any more than 3 (ish) hours.

Here is a link for you to look through and there is also a support thread
All about the 3-2 transition- 5/6 months
Anyone want to talk about the 3-2 Nap transition? Part 2

The NF is usually an hour and she falls asleep on the boob. Should I cut it short?

Is she actually eating for the whole hour or does she fall asleep on and off and it takes an hour? When i would see J falling asleep as opposed to eating, I would stroke her cheek a couple of times and if that didn't encourage her to E, I would put her back in bed. J is usually done with both sides within 15mins or so. Once she's slowing down and starts to fall asleep on one side, I burp and offer the other side (changing sides usually wakes her a little) and then once she's starting to slow down and fall asleep on the other side, I end the feed, burp and back to cot. Having said that, if your LO has a cold at the moment, she might be struggling with eating as well.

With regards to the cold - I would try a vaporiser before nap/bedtime and you could also try elevating her mattress to make it easier for her to breathe. Also breast milk is wonderful for curing a cold and when J had a cold (she was just 8 weeks old), I squeezed some and used it as nose drops every 3 hrs or so (i used a small pipette). It worked wonders . If you're not comfortable with that, saline drops may do the trick too.

I'm finding that because DD1 is only 21 mths it's really hard to do BW (it's getting easier now but in the beginning it was like having two babies!)

(((hugs))), I know what you mean! My girls were just 13.5 months apart and the first 6 months were really tough but it does get better and easier. We were all over the place for the first 4 months and I just did whatever worked... we only started sleep training her at 4 months and soon after things started to fall into place 

Let me know how you go

[draxela]

Fantastic advice, thank you!!

The NFs I now have down to 15 minutes with no issues - as you said, she wasn't actually feeding the whole time, just hanging out. The earlier waking has stopped and the cold is nearly gone so I think the two were linked.

Wrt earlier bedtime: this is basically impossible. I've tried for a week now and it's just too hard trying to do it all by myself because of DD1 and the layout of our house (bedrooms and bathroom upstairs). DH gets home around 5.45 and I really need his help with juggling the two girls. I think I'll just have to gradually stretch her A times. I read through those links you posted and I think she's defo in the 3-2 transition. Sigh.