Almost 16-Month-Old with AWFUL Nap Issues -

[MissChristina]

Hi All~

My son is a week away from being 16 months. He's been on 1 nap for the past 2 months or so. He sleeps well through the night, 7pm to 7am. But naps are consistently a struggle. We went down to 1 nap because he would either refuse to take his AM or PM naps, or could never sleep more than 30-40 minutes for either nap, and would wake completely HYSTERICAL (possibly because he wanted more sleep but wasn't able to?... I dunno..). The only way he'd nap for more than 30 minutes is if he was in the car, or if I were holding him.

I've tried extending the naps, but it never works. He *may* sleep for another 5-10 minutes, but once he wakes, it's a lost cause. When I consolidated his naps, the first 2 or 3 weeks were perfect - he slept 1.5 to 2 hours a day, with 11 to 12 hours overnight, no wakings. But suddenly, he started reverting back to waking after 30 minutes during naps, screaming hysterically. I'd rush in there to try to extend the nap, but it never works. Sometimes, I'll just take him out of the crib, and call it a day. I've tried offering a second nap when he wakes early, but he won't sleep again. But then he starts getting tired at dinner, setting off a chain reaction of being extremely fussy and grumpy while he eats, often refusing to eat or spitting or throwing food. I then rush through his dinner and bath - both of us completely crazed and stressed out - and get him in bed for an early bedtime. Thankfully, once he goes to bed, he'll sleep solidly until 7am.

I am now DESPERATE to avoid the messy/stressful/crazed dinnertime --> bath --> bedtime period. It's the end of the day, I'm tired and hungry too. I know dinnertime can always be a challenge, but at least bath time should be a serene period. But it's NOT because he's tired and cranky. I end up being a complete wreck by the time he's in bed. By the time I get to sleep, I feel awful, even though it could have been a nice day. But it is all contingent upon how my son napped.

Can someone PLEEEEAASE check out my routine and let me know if something needs to be tweaked? Or, if you might have suggestions on how to get my son to nap better/longer.

Oh, and my son was extremely clingy last week. He's better today, but it's only Monday. Last week, I couldn't even go get a drink of water or use the bathroom because he'd coming running over and grab at my legs for attention. But I'm doubting this is causing the nap issues, because this 30 minute nap, waking hysterical thing has been going on for almost 1.5 months!! Thanks for any advice and help!!

7am - wake, breakfast
8am - 11am - play time
11am - lunch
12:15pm - nap
12:45pm - wake, completely hysterical...
12:45pm - 2pm - Plan A) I work on extending the nap; includes sitting by his crib, shushing, or if he's calm, letting him sit quietly. Sometimes, he'll sleep for another 5, 10 or 15 minutes, but that's it. Plan B) I take him out of the crib, and get him back to playing.
2pm - 5pm - play time
5pm - dinner
6pm - bath
7pm - bedtime

[jessmum46]

I would try an earlier nap, say 11.30ish.  His nights are good but total sleep is low and it's likely that he's probably crashing at the end of a long day with not much sleep rather than being a truly restful 12h.  If his nap is short I would also suggest an earlier BT so he has a chance to make up for lost sleep overnight.  When were first on one nap I think we did 11.30ish nap and 6pm BT for a long while, with a 6.30-7ish WU.

[MissChristina]

Thanks jessmum46!

On occasion, if he's had a short-nap day, I'll get him down for an early bedtime. He's able to make up for lost sleep overnight. But I'm right back into the bad naps the next day. What's the trick to getting a 16 month old to just sleep? Ugh. He's never been a great sleeper, but this 30-minute nap is just pure frustration right now.

[Emami]

^^What Katherine said!

Also, could you do bath time earlier in the day?  I always used to do the dinner, bath, bed routine too but I switched it up around the 2-1 transition because I often had to do EBT and found, like you, that it was all a bit of a cranky rush.  My DD loves the bath and I want to let her play in there for a long time and enjoy it, so I either leave her in her PJs and do it after breakfast if we have nowhere to be, or after nap if we're busy in the morning.  It might seem a bit weird to undress her and redress her in the middle of the day but it gets bath time done more as part of the A time than preparation for BT.  Just a thought to get through the evening a bit easier.

[jessmum46]

Is he an independent sleeper?

For us I've found in the past getting the right time of day really helps.  I think it's worth a shot at the earlier time hoping he won't be OT and might pull a long nap to catch up. 

The other thing I thought was teeth - where is he at with molars and canines?  It's a classic time for those big teeth to start causing issues.....

[anna*]

Def an earlier nap.

[MissChristina]

Is he an independent sleeper?

For us I've found in the past getting the right time of day really helps.  I think it's worth a shot at the earlier time hoping he won't be OT and might pull a long nap to catch up. 

The other thing I thought was teeth - where is he at with molars and canines?  It's a classic time for those big teeth to start causing issues.....

Thanks for the ideas, Katherine! Yes, my guy is an independent sleeper (thankfully!). But I will definitely give the earlier nap a try. I'm always worried about either too short A time, or too long A time. It's such a tricky line to balance!

RE: teeth - He's got 8 teeth only. He's currently getting his first molars, I think. Has been biting everything, drooling a LOT. I think there's been some pain, but he's not bothered at night - sleeps through just fine. So I think it shouldn't be an issue during the day? I mean... he sleeps fine in the car, or if I held him. I can look into medicating, but we're trying to avoid meds if it's not absolutely necessary. Is there a non-med way to treat any pain issues? He's been in teething mode for a while now, and I still don't see any sign of teeth. Molars are stubborn!

Emma / Anna -- thanks for the tips! I'll give them a try!

[*Ali*]

It does seem like it could be discomfort perhaps.
How are his allergies and skin these days? I remember from your old posts he has trouble settling due to scratching a while back.

Have you tried wake to sleep?

[MissChristina]

Hello ALI!! :-)

He got retested for food allergies, and everything came back negative. The doctor who retested him said the previous doctor (who was no longer with his practice) might have done it wrong and my son may not have had allergies to begin with, or he might have simply outgrown them. *shrug!* In any case, he's able to eat a more wide variety of foods now, and there hasn't been any sort of rashes or itchiness. He gets a diaper rash on a more regular basis now (like, every week, there's a rash or redness that takes a few days to go away), but nothing too serious to need medication.

Scratching is no longer an issue, although he still head-scratches just before he falls asleep. But since he sleeps independently now, and it's not a hard/severe scratch, I just leave it up to him as a soothing mechanism.

As for his current napping problems - I can't tell 100% of it's a discomfort issue. He's not bothered at all at night? I just put him down for an early bedtime tonight; he had a 25 minute nap today (*sigh!!*). He fell asleep right away, and is snug as a bug. I'm gonna give the early nap time a try tomorrow and see how it goes.

And I've tried wake-to-sleep in the past... but basically, he just ends up waking EARLIER than the usual 30 minutes (and not sleeping again), so his nap is even shorter than if I let him wake naturally.

I do have a question for everyone though:

If I put him down for a nap at 11:30am, but he STILL wakes after 30 minutes, do I try for another nap in the afternoon? If so, at what time? I don't want it to bump into bedtime, but obviously, he's at an age now where he's able to stay up and play through any tiredness. Every time I've tried to offer a second nap to extend his daytime sleep, he never sleeps!

[MissChristina]

OK - I just put my son down for an 11:30am nap, as suggested. He'd been yawning, rubbing his eyes and getting fussy since 10:30am, so he was definitely tired. So I gave him a cup of milk, read him a good long story (he actually started dozing off during the story!)... and did our usual routine for nap/bedtime. I put him in the crib, zipped him into his blanket... and he immediately burst out screaming and crying. He then rolled over to get up to stand. I picked him up, hugged him, to calm him down. Once he was calm, I tried putting him down again - and AGAIN, immediately screaming and getting up. What is going on?? ?? This NEVER happens. At nap time or bedtime. We just do our routine, and he goes into the crib, AWAKE, or at least very drowsy, and he falls asleep independently. This crying/hysteria/screaming thing hasn't happened since he learned how to sleep on his own around 9 months old. What the heck is going on?? ?? ??

UPDATE: ughhh. Took him 20 minutes to finally just go to sleep. Still wakes after 30 minutes. I give up. 

[*Ali*]

Glad to hear his allergies are no longer an issue.

Night and day sleep is different so there can certainly be things that affect one and not the other.

If he would take two naps then I would definitely give him two but if he always refuses then I guess tht choice has been made for you. If he makes up sleep with an EBT then I wold definitely do that. Some babies like a long night and less day sleep. My DS1 slept 13.5hr overnight for 6 months after we dropped a nap. Do you think if you did 6 or 6pm BT on an ongoing basis he would still  sleep until 7.

[Joy-filled]

Hugs to you.  My DS is a short napper too and it's tough. 

We also avoid use of meds, so for teething I use Hylands natural teething tablets.  They work really well.  I'd imagine if I can get them here in Canada they're available at health stores in the US.  Perhaps this could help?  I hope so for both your sake and your little man .

[MissChristina]

Hi ALI and Char K -

Thanks for the tips. I'll try the Hylands tablets. I've heard about them before, but have not used them. I'll give them a shot.

As for the short napping / long nights - I'm still hoping to get some sort of break for myself during the day by having him nap a little longer. But if he really doesn't want to nap longer than 30 minutes, then I guess I'll just have to accept that. It has been so so exhausting...

Tried the earlier nap time again this morning. Like yesterday, I gave him a cup of milk, and read THREE books this time. Did our usual sleep routine. Then he goes into the crib to get zipped into a blanket. As soon as I put him in the crib - I didn't even get a chance to zip him into the blanket yet... and he's completely hysterical. This is SO out of ordinary... maybe it's teething discomfort? But he's been fine ALL morning. He played with his toys just fine. Wasn't overly clingy, just seemed normal. But once in the crib, he's hysterical. Luckily, it took him 10 more minutes of fussiness to fall asleep today, not the 20 like yesterday. Sigh. Guess I'll keep trying and hope for the best by the end of the week!