Need help/advice with nap transition

[cocoisland]

Hi everyone this is my first post here 

I have a 7 year old who I did EASY with and an 11 week old so my memories are a little rusty and I could do with some help!!

My 11 week old is roughly on a 3 hour EASY although this is not (at all) reliable! I am having trouble getting him to transition through his sleep cycles and take a long enough nap. Originally he was getting overtired and was waking after 10-15 mins. I have that sorted now (I think!) and he will get to the 40-45min mark before he stirs. He begins by fussing but not all out crying - I do leave him to see if he will settle back. Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't. However, even if he does fall back to sleep it is rarely for more than 5 mins before he starts fussing and crying again. He can do this several times and never get back into a deep sleep. If I intervene and give him his dummy I can sometimes get him to settle back off but often to the same end - he is quiet for 5 mins then wakes again. Usually I end up getting him up and putting him in his swing for the remainder of his nap time so that he is not tired at feeding time, otherwise he falls asleep on his bottle and doesn't feed well!

Am I doing the right thing here? Or should I get him up when he won't settle and let him have another activity cycle before settling him back to sleep in his moses basket? He is still tired when he wakes as even if I get him up he is yawning immediately. I don't know if it's more important that he finish his sleep and I shouldn't worry about using the swing to get him to achieve that or if I am just making bad habits!

I admit to finding EASY a lot more difficult this time around as I already have a schedule that I have to stick to due to my older son - I have to do the school run so even if DS2 is sleeping at 7.30 I have to wake him to feed him and get him ready. This results in him being tired very quickly and falling asleep on the school run but he doesn't often sleep through to next feed time whether I leave him in his car seat or try to resettle him in his basket when I get home. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle because even when the day is going well I might have to mess it up to go and get DS1 from school! It's so difficult! Good days and bad days I guess.

Sorry for going on a bit! Any help or advice appreciated.

x

[cocoisland]

Sorry I have realised I should have posted his routine but it is so changeable it's hard to know what to put! I guess a typical day might be -

7.30 E - He rarely takes more than 3oz here.
        A - Get nappy changed and dressed then go in bouncer until school run.
8.45 S - On school run
        Usually he will wake on return at 9.15 and may end up in basket or swing for rest of nap.

10.30/
11.00ish E - 4 - 5oz
              A
12.00     S - In basket, wakes after 40ish mins. Might resettle or go in swing until

2.00 E - 4 - 5 oz
        A
3.00 S - In car seat for this one for school run. Wakes on return, try to resettle in basket or swing until

5.00/
5.30ish E - 4 - 5 oz
5.30/
6.00ish A - Bath and massage, change into growbag.
6.00/
6.30ish S - In basket but will wake on and off all evening!

8ish E

11ish E - Comes up with us after this one and will sleep the night relatively well with one feed at 4.15ish.

He has a posterior tongue tie (not correctable) and is formula fed,

[cocoisland]

  Can anyone help? Xx

[cocoisland]

Bump 

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

That darn school run is a pain!  How long does it take?  I think tbh if he is having two naps / day in the car which end up in the swing it's going to be difficult to get him to take a proper nap. Do you wake him in the morning?  Is it an option to wake him a bit later and not have his first nap till after you come home?    Then you can work on him having a tidy nap.

[cocoisland]

Hi Sarah thanks so much for replying 

The school run takes about 35 mins partly in the car and partly in the pram. I do sometimes have to wake him but tbh the latest I can leave him is 8am as I have to have him fed, changed, dressed and ready to go for 8.45am. He always seems tired as soon as he wakes in the morning so I think napping on the school run is pretty unavoidable. 

He doesn't seem to need much A time before he gets tired. Often he will yawn as soon as I get him up even if he has slept right up until his next feed! Do I ignore this yawn? He seems to become ready for his next nap about an hour after waking or even sooner in the morning but this seems a little light on A time for his age. Should I be pushing him out even if he seems tired?

I need to figure out the best way to handle the nap - split into two parts with second part in his basket after some more a time, or resettle straight away - and should this be in swing or basket?

Thanks again 

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

He's still pretty little. If he sleeps ok in the swing you can use that to extend the nap. 40 minute naps are pretty common at this age and often improve with more a time bc he's tired enough to sleep but not tired enough to sleep longer. His a time is short. I'm not sure when school starts up again but I suppose you could use the holidays to extend his first a time so he wouldn't nap till you get home. Idk if that's possible. Or you just accept the first nap is going to be short and work on the second nap being good. 
We've just got through this phase tbh. Dd2 has her first nap after the school run, the second one in the early afternoon and the third one around 4-4.30.

[cocoisland]

Sorry for late reply - got busy with family stuff!

Ok so first day back at school for ds1 today and ds2 didn't go to sleep until after the school run - more happy accident than my amazing skills! Put him down in his basket and after 45 mins boom - wide awake! Smiling at me when I went in!

I suspect that his use of a dummy is not helping as he will need it back if he wakes and wants to go back to sleep. I tried taking the dummy away cold turkey over the hols but I just replaced one problem with another! ds2 likes to suck his fingers so was using those instead but still waking when he relaxed into sleep and they fell out of his mouth! He was then becoming cranky and frustrated and would not settle to sleep well unless I held his hand in his mouth until he was in a deep enough sleep. Dummy or fingers he still wasnt napping well so the dummy is back.

What  confuses and frustrates me is the fact that he will sleep at night from 11 til 4.30 without needing dummy replacement so he MUST be settling himself between sleep cycles at night - why not in the day???

To be honest I am pretty much ready to give up on EASY and let him catnap if he's happy and it's working for him. He is currently asleep in his carseat as we have school run in 10 mins - I just don't see how I can keep regular naps in his basket when I have an older child with a schedule that's already set. It's never going to happen! I feel like I'm trying to fight a battle I can't win.

    I do appreciate your help and suggestions so thank you.