I need sleep-Please help me!!!

[missyb]

I haven’t had to come on this site for a year or so now, but I think I am more desperate than ever now-Can some please help me tackle these horrendous nights we are having.

DS is 2yrs 9mths and has always been the perfect sleeper (but compared to DS1 anything is perfect).  He will easily do 12+ hrs at night and if he has a short nap he will make up the difference that night.

Some months ago he begain the 1-0transition and started really refusing bedtimes and wasn’t going to sleep until well after 9pm so we cut the nap to 1hr and it has been great.  Gradually we have had some nap refusal, which is fine as he has just had quiet time in his room and has caught up at night.  We have had the odd occasional bad night prior to now where he has woken up and been awake for 2-3hrs during the night.  In this time he is generally happy, and will sit and read books, listen to his music and only call occasionally for random things. I would say that this is more OT behavior than UT but can’t be 100% sure as it has happened on both nap and non nap days.

The past week-10days however have been a nightmare.  He has been waking anywhere between 11pm and 2am and is awake for HOURS, and by that I mean 4.30-5am.  While I can pretty much leave him, I can’t just back to sleep because I can’t ignore him so I am exhausted.
 
When he wakes he calls out, and he generally wants a drink of water or the toilet, which we deal with and then he is fine.  But he won’t go back to sleep.  He thinks it is playtime. Then trying to wake him again in the morning is a nightmare cause he is so tired.

There has been the odd night where he has woken for pamol, but this attention seeking as if you give it to him it makes no difference and I have had him at the dr’s and he is perfectly fine.  He has also been asking a lot for milk, so I figured he was hungry (not the best eater) so have been making a conscious effect to make sure he is filling up during the day. 

The last few days have been

Mon      7am wake
      1300-1400 nap (which I woke him from)
      7.30bed, asleep about 8.45
      Midnight-2am wake
Tuesday   8.30 wake (I left him to wake up)
      1Pm-tried for a nap but totally refused. Left him till 3 having quiet time
      7pm bed and straight to sleep
      12.30am wake and didn't go back to sleep until 5am
Wednesday   7am wake (it was a daycare day and he had to wake up)
      12.30-1.45pm nap   
      7pm bed didn’t go to sleep until about 8.30pm
      3am wake went to the toilet had a drink and went back to sleep at about 4am
Thursday   7am wake (daycare day)
      1pm nap refusal (really normal for him on a Thursday-daycare day)
      6.30 bed and asleep by 7pm
      1am wake went back to sleep about 3am
Friday (today)    I woke him at 7am and he has gone to daycare.

I just have no idea if he is OT, UT  or forming a habit, genuinely  hungry and having a growth spurt.

He is dry at night since Christmas which he did totally by himself and we don’t lift him to go to the toilet when we go to bed.  He will wake when he needs to go, and I am wondering if there is OT/UT underlining issues that are causing problems when he wakes to go to the toilet??

Aside from that nothing much else has change, except his brother started school 3 weeks ago, so they are both adjusting to not being with each other 24/7 as they were at daycare together, and I wonder if it is a bit of separation anxiety because he misses his brother as they are so close (I know I am probably clutching at straws here)

He is generally really good at regulating himself and will often take himself off to bed when he is tired and tells me that he needs at nap etc (he is a on to little guy)

If anyone has any advice or pearls of wisdom as to how we can both get some more sleep then it would be very much appreciated. I am exhausted and just need some sleep

TIA xx

[snowbird]

Big hugs! With that little amount of sleep I would think OT! Will come back tomo and have a good look. Sure some more experienced people will be along too. Xxx

[goldmom]

I would agree with OT since all those long wakings. I would aim for a very EBT to make up for some of that lost sleep.

I was also wondering why he thinks it's playtime in motn? In order to discourage him from fully waking in motn can you try to keep the lights dark or very dim (even in the bathroom), and try not to talk to him or engage him in any conversation. I would remove the books and music so as to discourage any playing when he's awake. I also wonder if a gro-clock would help him tell if it is daytime yet so in motn he doesn't think it's almost morning and time to wake up.

[missyb]

Thanks for your replies,

My gut instinct and all logic say OT to me as well, but I just don't am so get it.  Yesterday he had a long nap at daycare. He had napped from 1-2.30 and woke on his own (they usually wake him after an hour). Bedtime was a nightmare and he didn't go to sleep until after 9pm.  He then woke at 1.3oam and didn't go back to sleep until 5am!!  I woke him at 8am so that I would have a chance of getting a nap into him today which I did for an hr from 1.30-2.30. 

Normally if he is tired bedtime isn't an issue even if he has had a nap.

He has to have a nightlight other wise he looses the plot.  And I have taken the books etc out but he just ended up wandering the house and going into his brothers room or the play room to play.  So at least if he has them in his room he is still in bed, quiet and not disturbing his brother.

The music is like an AP thing for him.   He has always had music playing in his room since being a baby, and he now can turn it on/off himself so needs nothing from me.

I only go and do the low key thing if I have to go in. and that is only when and if he is crying or calling out for the toilet, but usually he is perfectly happy by himself.

He has a groclock as well but to be honest because I usually wake him in the mornings we don't normally need the concept and he stays in his bed as it is so it isn't really working.

I just don't know, I am so tired

[snowbird]

On phone so this will be a quicky...
I have probs with lj whenever she has a nap. Never been able to find the right time for bt and have lots of messing about. Better on no nap days. Could you try a no nap day after he wakes on his own in the morning?  And then a super ebt?  Big hugs xxx

[michaeljacknnugg]

Gosh, you are dealing with a lot.

To rule out hunger, would he take something like rice pudding just before bed?

The sleep stuff does sound like ot, but I do wonder also if he's ready to drop the nap totally. It would make things easier for you if you can get some consistency, because then you could see a pattern start to emerge. Is a super early bedtime a possibility if he needs it?

[j.and.e]

I would stop all naps and hope for solid night sleep. I would do early bed only to makeup sleep. No more naps. After a couple of weeks he will hopefully adjust to sleeping solidly at note again. Also I agree with geo clock, dim lights no play etc. Xx