Getting back on track with my almost 3yo

[tahiranisa]

My son has been a great sleeper pretty much from 10mo when I started BW until two weeks ago. I had bumps along the way and had to do some EW stuff in his early 2s but now we are at a new low. WE went to my mothers house 2-3 weeks ago and he hasn't slept through the night since. Last night he was at my bedside EVERY HOUR from 10-2.
He moved to a big boy bed late but we didn''t have a problem with it for 2-3 months. He still called us to get him out of bed. Then we went to my moms and he fell asleep in their bed, was transported to a crib, and would wake up and demand milk every night, which he got. He still likes milk to go to sleep, that is his prop.
I have been giving him small bottles with an ounce of milk and four ounces of water at nearly every night waking, which I am sure I need to stop but I am afraid I will then spend hours awake at night trying to get him to sleep. As it goes now, he comes in, I scoop him up, put him in his bed, make a bottle, if he is asleep I leave it in the kithen, if he is up I bring it to him.
These nights have turned him into a monster during the day who whines and cries for everything and now is starting to refuse bedtime. I tried limiting his naps to an hour but didn't see any change in a 3 day period so I went back to 1.5 hours. He has generally had high sleep needs and EARLY WAKINGS. We woke at 5:30 his entire 1-2 year.
His schedule:
WU: Between 6-7
Nap: Started between 12:30-1:30 for 1.5 hours, usually starts at 1
BT: Between 7:30-8:30

He is addicted to his bottle which is maybe what I need to tackle here. He has a lovey that he has taken to recently. He is slow to mature I would say. I have a one year old little girl and she is definitely more independent than my sensitive little guy.

[HenaV]

Hi,

Not BTDt as my dd is 31/nearly 32m old but just looking at your day, if capping the nap further has no effect you might want to try a later nap. Rs day currently looks like this:

WU: 6.15/30
Nap:1.30-3pm (regardless of WU)
BT: 7pm (asleep within 15m or so)

I think setting your nap might help. What do you think?

Hena

[tahiranisa]

Hi HenaV! Now that I read your suggestions, it seems like maybe the problem started before the actual night wakings.
For a few weeks before he started night wakings, we had a nap that was moving later and later. Sometimes the nanny couldn't get him to sleep until after two. Then it evened out for a while. Then the trip to my moms. Then the nightwakings. Seems like all signs are pointing to too much day sleep?
So, probably a shortened nap is exactly what we need, but it seems so strange since he has always been such a huge sleeper.
Setting the nap might be good but I have to put our 1yo down before our son and that plus whatever activities we have that morning mean its hard to set a hard and fast start time for nap.
He was so fussy/crazy today because he was just exhausted. The nanny let him sleep two hours hoping it would help his mood.
Oh! The big news is that I was talking to my son about sleeping through the night and asking him to please stay in his bed and he is whining that he can't! He just can't! And I pointed out that he always slept all night in his crib with out waking up. Then he wanted his crib back. So, we turned his toddler bed around so he can't climb out. I didn't do it only because he asked but also because I know that sometimes he climbs out of there still asleep or extremely near asleep. I slept in his room a couple of weeks ago so I could immediately pop him back in his bed when he woke and realized he wasn't always awake enough to notice. So, my logic here is that possibly if I could get him readjusted to sleeping through the night, I could turn the bed back around without incident the way it was when I first put him in a toddler bed.
Does that make any sense to anyone? OR does anyone have a convincing argument why that was a terrible decision?

[tahiranisa]

Ugh. 1030pm and he just had his first nightwaking. I am not sure how awake he was. He was confused and sitting up in bed and crying. I just kept telling him to lie down. After 20 seconds he did, and was bcak down.

[tahiranisa]

Noooooo! 11pm and he was up again. He is so upset tonight and weepy. I decided to bunk in his room. He seems extra clingy and he definitely believes he needs me. Maybe turning the crib around was a bad idea. Maybe he is reacting to getting "trapped"? I am not sure. Need some advice about what to do with these nights. They aren't habitual wakings, but they can be as many as 5x/night (as few as 2) leading to overtiredness and ruin for schedules, eating, everything.

[HenaV]

Re: the bed thing, as long as it is safe, if you think it will work and not further confuse him, then i'd give it a shot.

For us, wakings before midnight frequently as you describe and EW are usually a sign of OT (R is a huge sleeper too and gets OT quite easily). I have found as she gets older the OT is more easily managed, as long as things are consistent whilst we get back on track yk? Hence my suggestion of setting the nap for a few days at least to get on top of the OT and back on track which IMO will give you a better chance of assessing your day and if that is causing any issues.

Hena

[tahiranisa]

I did institute a hard start time of 1pm for nap. Today he slept 1.5 hours and then the nanny woke him (which was nearly impossible). His attitude once i got home from work read sessions though, much better than yesterday. We tried to have him in bed by eight and he has been vigorously tossing, turning, kicking for an hour. I'm sitting in his room because he's definitely super needy these past couple of weeks. I tried to get him to bed earlier with no luck today.
Do you think I should be capping his nap?
Do you think I should be more of a stickler about leaving the room after I put him in bed?
What time should I shoot for BT?

Today went
WU: 5am
Snuggle till 6
Nap 1-2:30
BT: 8, one hour to fall asleep

[HenaV]

I would say that he was OT by BT. That's a very long day on 1.5h. With that day I would have done this:

WU: 5am
Nap: 1-2.30
BT: 6.30 (at an absolute push 7pm but I think he'd still be OT by then

As a general rule I don't have a day longer than 13h, but he might be able to handle 13.5, lots do as they get older?

H

[tahiranisa]

Interesting. I will try it. Last night I gave him some motrin to help with the restless legs (I always find it helps me) and we did a little better. He woke at 1:30 because his diaper leaked, 4a.m. because he couldn't get his covers on right then his typical 5:20, but he stayed in my bed (possibly sleeping) till 6:20. He was also just less hysterical tonight.
So, I will work for a schedule today of
WU: 6:20
Nap: 1-2:30
BT: 7

If I let him take whatever nap he wants it would be much longer, but with this schedule I am waking him. Just want to make sure thats right.

[HenaV]

Yes, you are. I think the risk with an earlier/longer nap is that your LO learns to rely on it to make up for the ew yk? Also, by allowing a longer nap and extending your day, it's so long that it's hound to IMO perpetuate OT and ew

H

[tahiranisa]

Great. Thanks. Eager to give it a try!