Sleep training for 3.5 month old

[clc4r]

Hey there everyone! I need advice on how to approach sleep training! My DD is 3.5 months and very spirited and has bad reflux. We are on meds now and doing better. . I tried sleep training from 6-9 weeks and got no where. This was the same time as reflux, and I began to think ST was doing more damage than good. So the AP began...

Now: She is sleeping well at night with one NF but can put herself back to sleep. She recently 4 weeks ago began giving me 45 min-1hr long naps. So I spent time adjusting her wake time to 1 hour 20 mins.

I have the next week set aside for sleep training, but want to know details in how to do the following: should I tackle these all at once or one at a time?

1) she's in a rock n play and I want to get her into the inclined bed...
2) She is still swaddled in her woombie. She fights it, but I've tried weaning it several times with no avail. How long does it take for them to get used to the freedom? I don't think she startles awake, but she fails her arms everywhere. Should I keep swaddling until sleep training is set?
3) I tried the shush pat back at 6-8 weeks and both make her angry. Is it ok to do the PUPD and holding a hand on her chest? Or do they need the physical shhh in between the pickups?
4) she'll sleep through a nap if I hold her, so I'm a prop as well. She typically cries herself to sleep so I've spent soooo much time trying to figure out her window. Is it possible she's in the habit of crying herself to sleep now? If so will pupd tackle that? I've never let her cry it out alone. She's always in my arms. She doesn't really like the paci.We have a 5 min wind down routine. Bedtime is so much easier than naps where she typically whines for 2 mins then Conks out.
5) nap extention: I've tried these for forever now, but always end up holding her. I then have to wait the entire 20 mins before I put her down again. I've tried leaving her in rnp with hand on chest and shush but I waste the rest if the nap doing that while she screams.

I have read both of Tracy's books front to back a million times trying to understand everything. Yet I still managed to fall into so many AP issues...*sigh* I know this week will be HELL to put it lightly, but I've got to have my life back.

I'll post my EASY at the bottom. She is on a combo 3/3.5 hour schedule. Let me know if you think it might be because she needs a longer EASY. She eats fine. The only applicable sign is the short naps and her approaching age.

E 7:00
A 7:15-8:20
S 8:45ish-10:30 with lots if nap extention
E 10:30
A 10:45-11:50
S 12-1:30 if I'm lucky
E 1:30
A 1:45-2:50
S 3-4:30 again with holding and rocking
E 4:30
A 4:45-6sh
S 6-6:45 catnap 45 min. (My favorite cause I don't have to extend.)
7:00 bath time with daddy
E 7:30
S by 8:00
We don't do dreamfed. Tried it for two weeks and she woke every 3.5 hours. So I dropped it.
NW at 2:30 or 3 feed and straight to bed with NO rocking or holding. She puts herself back to sleep.

[jessmum46]

First thing to check - is the reflux fully controlled now?  No pain?

Personally speaking if she is fully well I would get her into the inclined bed and drop the swaddle all at once.  To my mind there's no sense in sleep training only to have to do it all again when you change something else.  But if you want to do it one at a time that's fine, you could use a more gentle weaning strategy for the swaddle in a month or two.  This link is quite useful: Weaning the swaddle - when, how, tips and tricks

As she is a refluxer I would avoid PUPD all together - it's not recommended as the PUPD action can really aggravate the condition.  It's also only really to be used as a last resort for babies from four months in whom shh pat has been tried consistently with an appropriate routine without success.  Shh pat can be adapted to whatever your LO prefers - if no shh and a hand on the chest is what suits her, then go with that . Just make sure that you work on removing your hand earlier and earlier so she can do more of the falling asleep on her own.

Some babies always cry before sleep, that can just be their way of letting off steam.  Sleep training may or may not change that.  Can you tell the difference between an 'I need you' cry and just a frustrated, tired cry?

Nap resettling.....well I gave up on it mostly.  It just stressed me out!  But if you are going to do it I would set yourself a time limit e.g. 15/20 mins and if LO hasn't resettled by then just get up and move on with the day.  And shorten the next A time a touch to try to minimise OT. 

Her EASY looks great - well done

[clc4r]

Great! Thank you so much for your insight! That really helps!

I'm a little nervous trying the shush pat since I didn't get anywhere with it before. But that might have been the reflux...how long should I keep trying shush pat before I realize it's not working. I realize she will resist it at first since it's a different sleep technique.

Question about the shush pat then: it says were supposed to pick them up when they are crying and do the shush pat on our shoulder. Should I still do that with her since she has reflux? If so, do I still wait until she's fully calmed or just 2-3 minutes? Or should I just keep her in the crib?

Yes, I can tell the difference between 'I need you', 'fussy', and the pain cry. That's one thing I've got down!

Thanks again for your help!!!

[jessmum46]

Good job on understanding your LO so well that will definitely make things easier.

I would try and do as much calming in the crib as you can and avoid too much picking up.  If she gets completely distraught then I would pick her up until she's calm at this age, and then try again.  Something that refluxers often don't like is the traditional shh pat where you pat regularly on the back - so your variation of a hand on the chest or something like a bottom pat could work much better for her. 

If you're consistent with shh pat you should see some good improvements within 3-4 days and I'd expect it to be much easier by a week.  Usually if it isn't there is something else going on e.g. wrong routine so let us know if it feels like you're getting nowhere x

[clc4r]

I will! Thank you thank you thank you!

[jessmum46]

Good luck!