Feel like I'm failing, 9 week old/45 min naps but STTN, can't get on 3 hour EASY

[vbp13]

Well my little girl is now 9 weeks old.  I'm finding it more and more difficult to attempt the 3 hour plan.

She is EBF and is asleep by 7pm and then df 10.30ish, wakes sometimes at 2am and 5am or sometimes just 4am and then sleeps through to about 6am/7am but I eek it out until about 8am by giving a dummy which she spits out once asleep.

I never nurse her to sleep day or night but I can't seem to follow 3 hour EASY in the day.  I always try to E then A then S - but her naps are 45mins tops in the day and eeking out A makes her OT.  She seems to only last 1hour from waking before she is showing sleepy cues.  I also struggle with getting her to feed in one go - she feeds off one boob - then I nappy change and sometimes she won't take the second so then I move to A but often she then decides she wants the second boob after all - and then once shes done second boob shes tired so I have to put her down (although I make sure I burp her and swaddle her so she is awake but sleepy when she goes down).

So often it's EAEA(like burp)S(for 45mins).  She then wakes up and tends to have boob again so my EASY is more a 1.5 - 2 hour plan!

She is a very fast eater - ten mins tops (no fore/hind imbalance - weight gain perfect and nappies nice and yellow not foamy green) so the E for 45mins is a bit of a joke for her!

She sleeps really well at night, and self settles during day and night but I can't help feel a failure because I can't get her to a 3 hour EASY or 1.5hr naps within that.  If it wasn't for the 45min naps we would be really close to the 3 hour EASY.

Should I just go with it given baby seems more than happy with this and I don't mind the slightly more regular feeds?

I do feel like I can't do it properly so feel like a complete failure.

Advice / Comments appreciated!

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

Hey, don't feel like a failure. You're doing a great job. Short naps are extremely common at this age and for some Los, they just have to grow out of it. For others though, 45 minute naps can be a sign they need a bit more a time. Can you post a typical day in EAS order?  But please don't be upset, you're doing great.

[vbp13]

Well today so far it's been (roughly as I don't generally log it)

I aim for 11 hour day (8am - 7pm as she seems to like getting into bed earlier!)
Ready for bed - change then feed then down awake for 7pm
DF 10.30pm
E 3.45am
S 4.15am (inc change and settle)
E 6.20am (given I wanted to wake at 8am I didn't think she'd last with just dummy so treated as a night feed)
Wake 8.20am (we slept in!)
E 8.30 (changed her nappy, made a cup of tea for me and washed my teeth!)
A 8.45
S 9.15
E 10.00
A (bum change - was very fussy, sleepy cues but fussed wouldn't settle - fed again)
S 10.45 slept on me
E 11.30
A Bum change, chatted to her etc. was again very sleepy and crying and fussy, decided just best to try and get her to sleep for another 45mins!  she was really upset and wouldn't settle - eventually she started the cough cry (hungry) so offered boob - she was almost asleep on it so I took her off burped her and changed her bum so she was awake and then settled her in her cot - she took maybe two/three times to settle but then did go down awake and sleepy at about 12.40
S 12.40 - she stirred a few times in the first 30mins - very red eyes so I think she was waking herself up with a big poo - she kept going back to sleep then opening her red eyes a couple of mins later - she didn't make a cry or wimper just settled herself back ..... SHE IS STILL ASLEEP at 2.30pm!!!!!!

So I'm now waiting for her to wake up and it's just hilarious that she's gone down for such a long time after I've posted this!!

I keep overthinking everything - is she eating enough in the day (I guess she is as she is STTN), is she sleeping enough in the day (I guess sheis as she is STTN and is very easy to settle at bedtime) - is she OT or UT (I read 30min naps = OT, 45min naps = UT) ...

I wonder if perhaps I've read too much - I wish I could relax and just enjoy each day I have with her rather than thinking 'she is getting into bad habits' or 'I'm making a rod for my own back' - I don't know how I can just relax and stop stressing about this flippen 'text book' routine I keep thiking she should be in!
S 12.40

[vbp13]

Quick Update to day!

So she woke at 2.45pm
E 2.45pm
A 3.00 change bum, activity mat for tummy time and little play without nappy - at 3.40 she had had enough so I picked her up to do some quiet time wind down - she then wanted more food - she was routing then would cry and come off on the nipple (she does this quite often, cry, bobs off,routes, goes on, cries, bobs off until eventually milk comes in and she has a quick glug!), anyway I let her finish and then she started crying quite hard so I gave a quick cuddle - swaddled, cuddled without moving doing shh/pat - then put down and she is now quitely going from 2nd to 3rd stage in her cot
S 3.55

Will see how long this nap is!!!!

[vbp13]

Well nap lasted 45mins....tried to see if she would go back down but she just started crying, picked her up and managed to get her back to sleep on my chest (is that bad?)

[nevinsmama]

Hi there, you are doing really well. Honestly, this looks like the sort of days my DD did at this age, short naps and fast eater and the works. And our nights were horrid! So, good nights are a definite plus, have you had a look here at this link, there is a lot of variation actually: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164253.0

[vbp13]

Thanks for the replies both!

She had a quick nap from 5.25 to 6.10 then I fed here (she sucked for ages - I wonder if she knows its close to bed time??) then we quietly held her on our laps while we ate dinner then changed and into bedroom, swaddle, offer second boob (had goodish feed) and then put her down awake at about 7.15/20 and not heard from her since!! ( she does seem to respond well to this bedtime routine - she knows its sleep time!!)

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

Great!  It's always a nice end to the day when bedtime goes well. And Medi still loves a good long leisurely feed at bedtime.

[Mom-of-boys]

I think you're doing a great job!  9 weeks is still so little.  My DS2 did the same thing.  He slept great at night but we were stuck at 45 minute naps.  Now his naps are usually 1.5-2hrs.  You will get there...like Sarah said, short naps are so common at this phase.  Try not to fret about the naps, making bad habits, or keeping a perfect EASY routine at this point.  Even if you did somehow create a bad habit, there would be lots of advice and encouragement here to help you get back on track!