11.5 Month Old--Still Wakes Twice a Night to Nurse

[rachelps]

I heard great things about this forum so I thought I'd give it a try...

My son is 11.5 months old and has always been a poor sleeper. He's slept through the night ONCE and had a handful of nights where he's only gotten up once. Most nights, he gets up twice (around midnight and around 3:30) and nurses. I'll try to let him fuss for a bit or pick him up and try to soothe him without feeding him, but that tends to make him mad. I'm currently trying to limit the duration of the nursing sessions, but that sometimes makes him mad too.

We had a few challenges this year--he broke his leg, had several rounds of ear infections, got seven teeth and are in the middle of a move. We're currently living at my parents house while my husband has started his new job--we'll all be living together in our new house next week (hopefully!)

Routine:
7-8 Wakes and nurses
9 oatmeal with fruit
9:30-10 first nap, for about an hour, nurse when he wakes
12 lunch--I try to get him to feed himself food, but he will really will only feed himself puffs--he will let me spoonfeed him pureed stuff
1 second nap, normally a little longer than an hour, nurse when he wakes
5 sometimes nurse if he's cranky
6 dinner, normally pureed stuff and attempts to self feed
7:15 bath, pajamas, nurse, sleep
12am wake and nurse (5-10 minutes)
3:30 am wake and nurse (5-10 minutes)

I normally try to let him fuss for awhile at night before going to him--he doesn't normally go back to sleep unless I nurse him. He's tends to fuss intermittently and only gets really upset if we try to put help him sleep without nursing him.  I'm trying to cut down the length of the nighttime feeds but sometimes he won't go back to bed if he didn't eat long enough. I worry he isn't eating enough during the day--he's very small and doesn't seem interested in solids. I feel like I force feed him whenever he'll let me!

Hopefully that's a good amount of details... let me know if I should add more. I'm grateful for any tips!

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

Hi there - welcome to BW!  How does he fall asleep?  Does he fall asleep on his own and can you put him down awake?

My dd2 is almost 10 months and has one night feed about 3-4 am. She's not quite ready to drop it yet.

[Skadiver13]

Hi hun like Sarah asked does he go to sleep for naps and bt independent of you? I.e. can you put him down amd walk out of the room when he's wide awake and he'll put himself to sleep? It sounds like one if not both feedings may be props at this point amd he's looking for you to help him resettle? Have you thought about weaning at least one of the feeds?

[rachelps]

He goes down for naps (most of the time) without nursing, awake but drowsy. I normally hold him for a minute by his bed and sing a song, then lay him down. He sometimes goes right to sleep, sometimes fusses for a few minutes before sleeping. And if we're having a bad day, I'll go in and nurse him if he won't settle in.

I've tried to wean him off the night time feeds--by shortening the duration or trying to rock him instead and that tends to make him very mad. Sometimes it works, but most of the time it doesn't. I do feel like twice a night is a lot--I really would like to cut out one of them but am having a hard time breaking him. He'll be one Tuesday!

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

My dd2 would like to be nursed all night long as well... I don't mind feeding her once but like you say, twice is probably too much.

I'd drop the midnight one first. You can do gradual withdrawal - cut back a few minutes every night - the aim being that you are putting him back to bed before he's completely asleep.  At some point hopefully you'll be able to settle him without feeding.

Does that help?

[Skadiver13]

Hi hun if the gradual reducing of the feeds isnt working what about cold turkey? I gad to do that with my lo otherwise he would get confused about why he wasnt getting more? I would just resettle him without it at all and after a few days he figured out he just wasnt getting anymore and that was that.  I would say I don't think he needs 2 feedings at night for sure.

[rachelps]

I think I'll try gradually cutting one out--fingers crossed!

[Skadiver13]

Good luck. Let us know if you need anything.