Desperate for help...bedtime with 3 yr old

[kohler14]

My almost 3yo went to be perfectly about 3 months ago. All of a sudden it changed. He will not stay in his bed. He will not stay in his room. We have tried to keep putting him back in for weeks and weeks. No changes. He laughs and thinks it is a game. I am so confused. We never let him cry it out and worked so hard on developing trust at bedtime. It is like a switch flipped. We are so desperate for help. We talk about bedtime throughout the day and have the same bedtime routine we have always developed. If anyone has some good advice I am willing to do anything. 

[kohler14]

Wake up: 7am
Nap: 1-2:30/3 usually goes down better for nap
Bed: 8:30

Start wind down routine at 8pm. Books, prayer, songs before bed.
He will do well for a couple nights then have a few really bad nights going down.

[zeri]

((hugs)) both of mine fought bedtime, it is hard!
I know he's just three, but is it possible he is getting ready to drop the nap? DD slept fine when she didn't nap, but on days she did, even for 15 minutes, she was a nightmare to get down. She wouldn't fall asleep until 10:30 or 11! DS now at 3 1/2 is reaching the same stage I think.

[theu.s.lees]

That's my thought too. Getting ready to drop that nap. DS's schedule is something similar to that, but he doesn't nap every day. But if he naps too well, he struggles at BT for sure. Maybe try capping the nap a little bit or trying to go without it and moving BT in a touch.

[kohler14]

What age, generally, should there be no nap? I feel like he is still a bit young and definitely tired at nap time. He usually has no problems going down for nap. I think capping nap may help. Any other thoughts for staying in room? I try to give him choices and tell him he doesn't need to sleep but needs to stay in his room. We give lots of choices during bedtime routine as well.

[HenaV]

Hi!

I think your nap is too long at 1.5-2h at this age. It is not unsual for LOs to start or drop the nap at this age. That said some LOs (like my dd) who are hsn may still need a nap but shorter than the one that your LO is having. My dd has just turned 3y and she has a nap at 2pm capped at one hour. Her BT is 7pm, she is straight out like a light, although for the last few days she's been waking at 5.40am which suggests to me I need to cap the nap further.

I would suggest in the first instance you try something like this:

WU: 7am
Nap: 1.30-2.30 (capped)
BT: 8pm (or Earlier if he's tired from the shorter nap)

What do you think?

Hena

[jessmum46]

I also agree and it's not too young - DD dropped the nap totally at 29 months. We now do a set 6.30pm BT with WU anywhere from 6.30-7.30am, with 60-90 mins "quiet time" on days at home

[theu.s.lees]

Yes I agree with all that has been said here. I hate that my DS is dropping the nap, however, on days when he naps a long time (and I let him) he takes forever to go to bed. Quiet time is okay too. I tell DS he is going down for a nap, but many days he plays with a couple of trucks or looks at books in his room for the hour. I'm okay with it because it gives me an hour to recharge and he's playing alone for that full time.

Just watch those no nap days as an earlier BT may be needed.

[Buntybear]

We were done with the nap by 3. He still even now has naps in the car when we are out sometimes but has not napped at home since then.

[Buttonbobs]

DD dropped her nap a month or two ago and she won't be three until October, it's certainly not too early. I think if BT is needing to be later and later I would strongly recommend cutting the nap shorter or cutting it completely every few days and see what happens x

[kohler14]

Ok thank you. I have capped at 1.5 last few days and will cap further as it doesn't seem to be helping too much yet. Can anyone think of logical consequences for not staying in the room? Or is that not a time for consequence.

[HenaV]

I don't think so. I think he's UT at BT and therefore being a monkey. I would cap to one hour and if that has no effect try NND and see what that brings

H