Dear friends,
The struggle continues. I can't get this babe on a schedule. I mean, not even a loose one. I do the same exact things in the same situations and get different results. And I take serious OCD notes, to try to understand his needs and patterns, and nothing is working. I know factors other than OT/UT can be involved... but it seems like everyone else in the world can do this structured routine thing but me. I'd be happy if it worked 4 out of 7 days!! (I know he's not a machine.)
LO is 19mos.
Yesterday looked like this:
Monday night: 8:15p to 7:45am (woke him) with a WU at 6a. He shuffled and babbled at 6am for perhaps 20m self-soothed back to sleep. I let him sleep rather late, assuming he needed it. He indeed seemed refreshed and happy. I figure it was an 11:20 night or thereabouts.
Nap: 1:24p to 3:20 (I woke him) (My goal is the nap from 1-3)
I tried to put him to bed at 7:45pm. 7:45pm was at a total of 10A, which I thought might be early, and I think it was. He happily played in his crib (with me there) with me occasionally doing PD for 30 min. Finally at 8:15 he started to settle, but shuffled for 30m. He fell asleep at 8:45p, I think. There was not a single tear or fuss the whole time.
Woke up this morn at 5:30 crying, up for maybe 15 min, and then I had to wake him at 7:40a for school. He's yawning and headshaking this morn.
His total A yesterday was 11:05 (5:40 and 5:25), which I think isn't really that far off the average, esp with 13+ total sleep.
I've tried everything, ya'll. Putting to bed anytime between 10A (12 hr day) and 10:45A and it never seems to work. I try to take into consideration how well-rested he is (or not), and take a good guess. I always seem to guess wrong.
So last night: Do you think that was going from UT to OT in the crib?? That just takes the cake, doesn't it?? Can you glean any meaning from it? Like: Was his ideal fall asleep time 8:45 (a 13 hr day), but all that too early trying to sleep made him OT?
I've tried just picking a reasonable schedule and sticking with it, including set naps, and he would never tack on sleep in the morning, and just did earlier and earlier OT waking. I've tried WI/WO at BT and if it's too soon (or too late) he goes BALLISTIC. Like, I'm not sure it's better than cry it out. He seriously has a fit. (Some SA involved, perhaps). When he's ready to go to sleep, he doesn't need me, I think he's pretty well sleep trained in that regard. It's just that he never seems to be ready to settle until it's too late.
I would appreciate any help. I'm so discouraged. Considering hiring a sleep consultant, but I'm afraid they will just say cry it out, or pick a schedule and stick with it no matter how much he cries. Now if one of YOU tell me to pick a schedule and stick with it no matter how much he cries, then I will trust you. The one thing I haven't tried more than once or twice is WI/WO at BT, whether he's UT or OT or whatever. It just seems to make him worse. But maybe that's the problem, that being in the crib has become 'optional' (when he seems UT I usu. take him out and try again after 15m). I just don't know what's going on.
Generally he seems to have lower sleep needs than average. And maybe highly sensitive to OT UT, if that's a thing.
Amanda
