How to start 14 week old on EASY...HELP!

[ClareMc1979]

Hi ladies,

First time mum and first time poster who desperately needs help. Have been reading the book and would like to start our 14week old girl on EASY but after day 1 I'm a wreck and emotional and don't know where to go from here.

Our little girl was 5 weeks pre term and when she was two weeks old we did a 10 day stint in hospital with an infection. I was trying to breast feed from the start but it was very tough and after loosing weight in hospital and having lots if blood tests she became very dependant on the boob for comfort and we were on a mission to get her weight up with weekly weight checks etc ordered by the doctors. So as a result she needs me for pretty much everything, when she wakes she feeds, when she's upset, when she's windy and when she's going to sleep (won't take a soother). I'm chuffed with myself for sticking with the bf and she's doing great but I have no time for myself at all and would like to help her get some sort if routine to her day. After two days of no naps during the day and being absolutely exhausted (her and me) we decided we would try get her on to EASY (we had originally planned doing it from the beginning but it didn't happen). Anyway there are lots of things we've come across today that mess up the EASY for us and I'm not sure how to fix them.

1. She tends to snack so mil finding it hard to get her to do a full feed when she wakes which will carry her through the 3 hours.

2. She gets tired after about an hour of activity sometimes sooner so I'm not sure whether to put her down sooner which will shorten the 3 hour  routine

3. In general she will only nap in her cot for 30mins but if in the buggy can sleep for 2 hours! However today for the first two attempts at putting her down with out the breast she only slept for 20mins and it took us 30mins to get her to go down. On my third attempt it took me over an hour and after being down for 10mins she woke crying and upset and got progressively worse as I tried to settle her resulting in me giving her the breast and her falling asleep in my arms . The minute I put her down she woke again and then started chatting and looking like she wanted to interact however she was also yawning and chewing her hands (will resist swaddling at every opportunity but we still do it). At this point I just didn't know what to do. Do I lift her and do activity? Do I start the EASY again? Do I try put her back to sleep, which I did because she was tired but an hour and half later she crying and upset in my husbands arms and the only way to calm her is back on the breast.

I'm so overwhelmed and confused I just don't know how to help her. At night she wakes every 2 hours for a feed so needless to say I'm not getting much consistent rest which is probably adding to my feeling like this.

I apologise for the very long post and overload of information but I really would appreciate any advice and maybe some help on what to tackle first and in what order. There's a lot to try and do in one go.

C x

[jessmum46]

Hi Clare and welcome.  Congratulations on your LO and well done you for persisting with breastfeeding . ((Hugs)) for the tough start you've all had though.

As I'm sure you know, your LO is only 9 weeks corrected so is still very tiny.  This means she will still likely need quite a bit of help to settle for sleep, but the good news is that "bad habits" aren't really such a bad thing at this age, as long as you have in mind what you're aiming for eventually.

So with breastfeeding, feeding 2-3hrly will be normal for some LOs at this age.  She may not be able to manage 3h so don't push her to do that if she's hungry earlier.  Most babies can probably manage 2h though so if she's not even doing that yet, maybe just extend the time between feeds slowly, holding her out perhaps another 5 mins every other feed. 

In terms of establishing an EASY routine, I would begin by feeding at WU and then watching her for sleepy signs.  When you see them try to to settle her down for a sleep.  It's up to you how you do this.  I'd suggest using shh pat or a variation (Shush-pat - How to), perhaps aiming to get the first nap of the day in her cot.  Although Tracy said to start as you mean to go on, in practice many of us work on maybe one nap a day in the cot at this age, then use other means eg pram or sling to prevent too much overtiredness as the day goes on.  The only thing I would try not to use too often is feeding to sleep.  It will happen, inevitable with such a young LO (says she who has just pretty much fed to sleep an overtired 11 week old ), but maybe try other things first.

Have a look here for average A times: Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!! Bear in mind they are just averages, some babies will need more or less, and also because she is prem her A times may well be closer to her adjusted age of 9 weeks.  Don't keep her up just to stick to a routine - even with an hours A time she could still do a 2.5-3hrly routine with 1.5-2h naps.  An overtired LO is much harder to settle.

Take it easy on yourself and her, don't try to do everything all at once.  If the nap attempt is getting you both worked up, give up, take a break, get her to sleep in her pram and try again when she's a bit better rested and you feel ready.  There are no "bad habits" that can't be undone

Hope that helps to start x

[ClareMc1979]

Hi Jessmum46, thank you so much for your reply. It all makes a lot of sense and manageable also. Today was a better day and to be honest I think it's just the lack of sleep this week was making every little thing seem so much worse than it probably is. I think sometimes I get too bogged down with every little thing instead of just taking a step back and relaxing. Sometimes we do forget how little she really is because in other ways she behaves like a 14week old.

Many thanks and have a lovely weekend x