5 month terrible napper can't get on EASY routine.. Please Help!!

[Vanessawood88]

Hi mamas,

Oh where to begin... We are a mess over here. I'm a FTM and my daughter is 5 months next week.  She has always been a catnapper, 20-30 minutes tops, but would take 4 a day and only wake up once at night.  I've been trying to get her on an EASY schedule but I just can't figure it out!  Also, Ive always nursed her to sleep at night but didn't have to for naps.  Well, lately she will NOT take a nap unless I nurse her.  She only takes a paci once she is done eating/pretty much asleep and never can really keep it in.  Also, the last few days she's only taken 3 naps and will not let me put her down.  She will wake up crying 5 minutes after I set her down.  I feel like she's overtired but I just can't figure out how to fix this.  It takes me like 30 minutes to get her down and if I don't nurse her I literally don't know how I would get her to sleep.  She won't let me rock her, she won't even really let me cradle her, she will scream if I try either. So I have to hold her upright and then she won't cry but she won't go to sleep. Also the last few nights she has been waking up screaming every 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours.  Nursing her is the only thing that will calm her down, but it seems like she's comfort nursing, not actually eating.  When she has a rough night, I usually just bring her into bed with us and she sleeps well but that isn't even really working anymore.  I'm kind of losing my mind over here!


I feel like I've created all these bad habits in the last week and I'm kind of freaking out.  Any suggestions would be wonderful and sooo appreciative. 

Here's what our day roughly looks like:

7-8: wake and eat
9:30ish: nap attempt (usually takes 30min and then nurse to sleep)
10:15-10:30: wake
11:30: eat followed maybe by another nap
12:15: wake
1:30: eat followed by another nap

Sometimes a late afternoon nap around 4
Bedtime routine starts between 6:30 and 7

And then she's go down for 30 minutes, wakes up, nurse back to sleep then stays asleep for a couple hours, then wakes up screaming... You get the picture.  But it's only been like that for maybe a month or so but getting worse and worse now. She used to only wake up once at night.

[weaver]

Hi there and welcome to BW hope we can offer you some support.

Sounds like you are having a rough time over there, alright! Average A time for her age is anything from 2-2hr30 minutes.  Has she been doing that sort of A time?  I'm wondering if she's undertired to start to day - certainly nap resistance for us was generally undertiredness.  I would try keeping her up longer at that first A and see if it helps.  Don't do a massive jump in A times, but do aim for something like the average (2 hours at least).

Nursing to sleep at night is no problem at all, did that with both mine.  You do need to be careful about creating a nursing to sleep for naps association though as that could be a pain in the future.  Around this age, my LOs both needed a bit of a snack in the awake cycle, so they would wake up, feed as normal, have most of their A time and then a small feed say 30 minutes or so before nap time, not in the bedroom and clearly not associated with sleeping and then go for naps.  So maybe try that? Feed her and then head for a sleep?

[Vanessawood88]

Thank you so much for your response! It seems so simple when you explain it.  Lol

Her A time is all over the place.  Sometimes she's up for like 3 - 3 1/2 hours because she refuses to nap and other times she's showing what I think are tired signs after an hour but then I try to put her down and oh gosh it takes forever.

The last few nights she's been waking up crying screaming every 1 1/2 - 2 hours and the only way to get her to calm is to nurse her, even though she just latches on and then doesn't really suck.  Tried giving her the paci and she refuses to take it.  So now our days are becoming even tougher because it's like she wakes up tired! I just feel so overwhelmed I don't know where to start.  I'm trying to keep bedtime consistent at 6:30pm.  Should I wake her up at the same time every morning and then have naps at the same time? As of right now I feel like shes hardly getting sleep so I try to leave her be, but that means some days she nurses at 6:45 and then goes back to sleep until 8 or she wakes up and eats at 7 and then she's up, so it's kind of all over.  What do you suggest is a good place to start?

Like I said, it sounds so simple when you say it and it probably is super basic but I just feel like we are so all over the place I don't even know where to begin.  I really appreciate the help!

[weaver]

Vanessa, I think you need to go back to brass tacks, and start again as though it's day one.  So, first make your plan.  You need to create a good routine and be mega consistent with it for a week or so.  So, yes, I would pick a wake up time and stick with it and aiming for a consistent BT will also help.  Try to stick with a good A time for her (some trial and error here, but watch her around the 2 hr makr and trust your instinct) and not letting her go for 3 hrs or go to short in the other direction. 

Try to develop a good wind-down that you use for every nap and for bedtime (see link below).
What does a good wind down consist of (Includes 4S ritual)

What are A times and how do they fit into the EASY routine?

Don't want to overload you with info, so come back with questions